Don't know where to start

yellowledbetter

Please forgive me if this turns out to be rather long.
So, I finally decided to register here after watching my wife spend hours pouring over these forums, digesting all the information and advice she can and using that information and advice to better our financial situation.

Not wanting to turn this into some epic love letter or anything, but my wife really is rather wonderful, especially when it comes to money. She has our budget nailed down, always ensures that everything is paid and that, where possible, we're getting the absolute best deals we can for utility bills and things of that nature.

As if that wasn't enough, she took on a second job working from home a few months ago, and now works all the hours the Good Lord sends to provide us with some much needed extra cash.

Problem is, whilst she's doing all this, I do precisely naff all.

I don't mind that She is in charge of our finances, and neither does she. After all, she works in accounts, is therefore good with money and figures and tells me that she enjoys sorting out our money and figures when she gets home.

I, on the otherhand, work as a writer and am therefore woefully inept at anything which does not involve the process of putting one word in front of another. My basic maths skills are terrible, I couldn't work out a percentage of anything if my life depended on it, I have no idea what things like APR, fixed-rates and things like that are, and generally my money management skills are just terrible.

We both earn our money, but whilst she works hard to not only earn extra money, but to manage it all and use it productivly and sensibly, I squander it, lose it, and pretty much make a right pig's ear of things any time I come into contact with the stuff.

This, as I'm sure you'll agree, is hardly very fair at all.
So I've decided that things have to change.

I think we're both happy with her taking charge of our collective finances, but just because she's in charge doesn't mean that I shouldn't pitch in and do my bit.

Together, we both owe a fairly sizeable sum. Forgetting for a moment the £80,000 mortgage, we've got £18,000 to pay back to her parents for the deposit on the house (and we were given a deadline for this, though, not surprisingly, I have no idea what it is), and owe several thousand between credit cards, loan repayments, catalogues, holidays and god knows what.

I know that, one way or another, I want us both to get rid of this debt and enjoy a better lifestyle, but just thinking about money in general overwhelms me and fills me with a certain ammount of dread.

So even though I know I need to help my wife, I just haven't got a clue where to start.
Any suggestions would be fantastic.

MrsTinks

How about starting with a letter You do words beautifully and often when dealing with debt what we need the most is the love and support of our partners.

Next - ask her how you can help. She knows you better than any of us and will know what is acchievable. Maybe offer to do the grocery shopping - to make sure you don't overspend then sit down and write a shopping list together and make sure you stick to it by only taking enough cash with you to buy what you need.

Small steps are more likely to succeed Setting unacchievable goals will only fustrate you both...

As Alan Jackson says "I even asked the Lord to try to help me:
He looked down from Heaven, said to tell you please;
Just be patient, I'm a work in progress."

(Look up all the lyrics they're pretty apt "Work in progress" )

ETA - I am not actually religious in the least - I just love that song

MrsTinks

Oh and to raise more funds why not write an article about your journey It's a very "now" topic after all

yellowledbetter

Thank you for the kind words and advice MrsTine

I'll ask if we can sit down later and go over everything and ask for ways in which I can help. Will report back with news

jennihen

Have you considered getting a part-time job. You're pretty down on yourself when it comes to your skills but,come off it, you've got this far in life and you've managed to bag a lovley wife!!!
A job could be the source of not only a little extra income but also tons of writing material. I kept a little cleaning job on after I started working in an office purely because I switch off and let my mind wander - even I get to be creative sometimes!!

GeorgeUK

One thing you could do is keep a spending diary for a month. If you do this and write down every time you spend or take money from the bank, you should be able to see where any money is squandered and take steps to rectofy this.

You don't need to be good with numbers to be able to manage a budget.
Basic adding and subtraction is fine. There are people that don't know what APR means and some don't even know that a low APR is preferable to a high one. As long as you can do the basics - know how much you have coming in, how much you spend and how much is required each month for your debts, then that's all you need.

Your wife will be glad to have your support in this and i'm sure will be able to let you in on some of the budgeting chores - even if it's just to give you a monthly update.

misspoppy

HI

You could start by asking her for a list of everything that gets paid when and how so if anything happened to her you'd know where to start at least. You could have a monthly get together to review things. Its easy to sit back and but unaware of how insurance is bought or that the electricity has been changed. I do all these things for my BF and I and I get upset that he never asks how something has been paid for. I work hard at getting us the best deal for things and tell him that I've done it but he wouldn't know where to start to do it himself.

You obviously have to becareful not to offend her you wouldn't want her thinking that your didn't trust her or you were checking up on her.

shazzle

Oh Yellow, dont despair there is a lot of wonderful advice and inspiration here to make a difference. Read these boards....they really will inspire you. they did me x

Numpty_Monkey

You can do more than you think,
As for earning extra money look into doing reveiws on site on the internet ,
maybe not a lot but a little bit extra
most of us use the online calculators for things like APR and things
I'm in that lot

If your maths is bad, look at your Local collages and adult learning centres,
they should do free courses

Don't feel downhearted