Married or co-habiting

DX2

I am amazed that you have been with a bloke for 10 years and haven't moved in together.

Paparika

bestpud wrote: »

This is way off the OP but I find it sad you are only thinking of the money and have your partner as an insurance policy almost - someone who will pay out when the going gets tough but for now you are fine so will just keep him ticking along until you need to cash in.

If you'd be moving so far your son would have to change schools, how will he get to his job if he has one when you move...?

Oh come on bestpud, no one can survive on love alone, of course we are both thinking about the financial side of things, if i move now, we'd be in dire straits, i would need to be supported and i don't want that. I want to be able to support myself so we don't suffer. I want to see what happens once my child has become an adult, I want to make sure he is happy and settled in what he chooses to do before i can think about what I want to do.. isn't that what being a parent is all about, putting your child needs first before your own? I don't want to disturb my son's life right now, he has 2 years left at school, He is happy and settled and doesn't need the upheaval right now. (ok I've said a lot of I wants - you know what i mean, i need to make sure my son is ok first before i can do what i want to do)

DX2 wrote: »

I am amazed that you have been with a bloke for 10 years and haven't moved in together.

I've been divorced 10 years, from a very nasty violent marriage... it's taken me a very long time to get over that, and I've wanted to concentrate on my son, rather than what i want in that time period.

what is so wrong in wanting to be there for my son whilst he is still a child, keep him on the straight and narrow, I've put myself last for 14 years what's another 4.

my partner wants me to wait until my son is ready, why is this so bad?

Paparika

DX2 wrote: »

When the child related benefits end :eek:

now your making me out to be a sponger. When ds, child related benefits stops i'll still have my son living with me, if he leaves school to get a job.. but ds hasn't decided what he wants to do yet, sorry but that's his decision to make not mine.

who do you thinks gets the money anyway!!! oh don't tell me you think i spend it all on myself?

Paparika

Actually if it was about the money..... do you think i would move in with him at all...

really please don't twist things

DX2

Paparika wrote: »

now your making me out to be a sponger. When ds, child related benefits stops i'll still have my son living with me, if he leaves school to get a job.. but ds hasn't decided what he wants to do yet, sorry but that's his decision to make not mine.

who do you thinks gets the money anyway!!! oh don't tell me you think i spend it all on myself?

Well 90% of your benefits is a lot to loose just to move in with a bloke you have been seeing for 10 years, cake and eating it

Paparika

DX2 wrote: »

Well 90% of your benefits is a lot to loose just to move in with a bloke you have been seeing for 10 years, cake and eating it

so what do you expect me to do, you seem to think you have all the answers..

Quite frankly this forum is getting worse, people come here wanting help and advice and its people like you who can't help be snide and sarcastic in their comments... really is there any need for it.

come on then know it all...

DX2

paparika wrote: »

so what do you expect me to do, you seem to think you have all the answers..

Quite frankly this forum is getting worse, people come here wanting help and advice and its people like you who can't help be snide and sarcastic in their comments... Really is there any need for it.

Come on then know it all...

:d:d:d:d........................

alwaysonthego_2

Board Guide Comment

I am closing this thread temporarily.

Kimitatsu

Auldie

To answer your question :rolleyes: it will make no difference to either your entitlement or your PAYE tax coding. Currently you live as partners with both of you contributing to the household income.

The differences it WILL make are to both of you if anything should happen to either one of you, inheritance laws favour the married over the cohabiting. Of course if you decide to divorce that would go against you, but as you have been together for 9 years already then I would assume that you are fairly confident that you are compatible!!

Now the rest of the decision is up to you