Don't know how we'll eat this month

redsquirrel80

Hope to see you back on today and feeling a bit more positive Worriedsick.

And yes unknowingly you've put me and Ampersand back in contact after 'seeing' each other on your thread, which is lovely!

ampersand

Yes indeed!

I echo rs's wish, ws. When you do read this, you are to know, with absolute certainty how near you have been to many of us today, while we wait - not a little anxiously - to know how things are.

I'm just hearing the last moments of 'Goodnight Mr Tom', on BBC7, beloved DAB radio. Hope you have similar reading, storytelling and listening with your daughter at some happy point today.

OrkneyStar

Worriedsick wrote: »

£30 a week just on his meat. :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Is he eating steak every night ? Seriously we spend about that a month on meat for all of us. The thing is if he has had the money spent on him while you were getting into debt he will need to help get out of it too! Check out the cheaper cuts and make stews- give him more of the meat if you are not so fussed about being a carnivore!
I'm embarrassed about the haircuts thing - we go every 8 weeks, my husband spends £20, my daughter £20 and me £80. I'll stop this now. Good . Go to a cheaper salon because nowhere should be charging you £20 for daughters haircut at that age!
My daughter is 23 months so will deffo try the potty training - was going to wait until she was 2.5 but will buy a potty at the weekend. DS was potty trained (daytime) at 27 months, girls can be earlier- give it a try but don't put too much pressure on you/her! In the meantime it is sposies or could you borrow reusable nappies from anywhere.......even using a couple a day instead of sposies would save money but not too much washing!
the £66 for child expenses is for the various clubs my daughter goes to - I've already cancelled one this morning, so this is now down to £30 already. What clubs is this ? Even taking DS to toddlers twice a week, plus a couple of other classes, and maybe the odd trip out, would cost max of about £30 per month (as it is we have done various things, Toddlers, Signing etc, but not all at once!). Take her to the park, out a walk collecting leave/acorns etc, feed the ducks etc- all free!
Will have a dig in the garage and loft for things to sell on Ebay to make some extra cash to pay in to the cards. Good
£30 clothing was a rough guess - my daughter is growing fast and it's literally clothes and shoes for her - my husband and I have not had new clothes for a long time. Charity, freecycle, ebay, hand me downs....I have spent so little on DS's clothes yet he wears decent stuff! If you are a charity snob (some people are....it is ok!) then it is Tesco or Primark, and make sure you ask for clothes for presents etc.
£40 emergency fund is always spent every month on the car or something in the house that needs repairing - there is nothing saved there. So really it is more of a house/car maintenance fund then- sensible to have really but again get best deals!

Make some rainbow coloured comments for you, and I echo the Groceries spending thing. Make it a challenge for yourself. You will get there, but life will never be the same again (in a good way!). Well done for getting on here and good luck. I am not in debt, but we took a huge cut in income when I became a SAHM and a lot of the money saving is the same principles, eventually you will get the hang of it, I promise x
ETA- check out this board, especially the recipe related threads and the Grocery Challenge threads (I used to go on there a lot and there is loads of advice/support from DFW's and others just trying to spend less at the shops!).

NJW69

On the meat front why don't you get the 3 for £10 offers in the supermarkets. You could get 4-5 pork steaks which would be at least two teas if 'you' don't eat meat, a pack of minced steak which would again be teas for a few nights, (same basic mix for chilli, spag bol, cottage pie, lasagne and then add the extras) and a whole chicken which would again make a few meals for one adult and a child, roast chicken, chicken curry, chicken pie or sandwiches and then make a soup with the rest. Really this should last you more than a week or you could freeze some meals after you've made them and then get different items the next week, freeze some of the meals and then every few weeks you should be able to have a week without buying any meat.

Get a slow cooker and a breadmaker to save money on meals. Buy whichever veg is half price as most of the shops do this weekly.

Asda had boxes of pampers for £7 or Tesco have two boxes for £18.

Have you claimed your child benefit and tax credits?

NJW69

On the meat front why don't you get the 3 for £10 offers in the supermarkets. You could get 4-5 pork steaks which would be at least two teas if 'you' don't eat meat, a pack of minced steak which would again be teas for a few nights, (same basic mix for chilli, spag bol, cottage pie, lasagne and then add the extras) and a whole chicken which would again make a few meals for one adult and a child, roast chicken, chicken curry, chicken pie or sandwiches and then make a soup with the rest. Really this should last you more than a week or you could freeze some meals after you've made them and then get different items the next week, freeze some of the meals and then every few weeks you should be able to have a week without buying any meat.

Get a slow cooker and a breadmaker to save money on meals. Buy whichever veg is half price.

Asda had boxes of pampers for £7 or Tesco have two boxes for £18.

Have you claimed your child benefit and tax credits?

ampersand

Dropping in to say Hello again, ws.

A lot of us are being positive for you and taking the No News Is Good News line tonight.

Seriously, we will do all that's practical and possible to help. That means that I, for one, would like to chat with your OH, here or via pms, to engage/invite/challenge his talents on this great test that is before you so early in your joint Life.

He first needs to know that this party is being held because of him, of you, of you both.

He is the man in your Life, so he must be a good man at heart - and a clever one to have chosen you as his helpmeet.

Together, you are more than the sum of two selves.
Tackling this, you need to be as one.

Bless you all three - we'll be checking daily and looking forward to hearing from you again.

ampersand

Good morning , ws.
You were in my earliest thoughts as I looked out kitchen window into semi dark/dawn, watching Big Boy pheasant standing on a solar light down garden[so-called]and preening, having stuffed himself with crushed corn.
Hope your weekend can be leavened with breakthrough moments re:OH and pleasure en famille.
We are all here for the grind and down, the hurt and hopeless times, and the opposite, of course, But hang onto the ABSOLUTE KNOWLEDGE that you can turn here even when you don't know why/how/anything any more.
Love to you all this w/e.

missbehaving1uk

well done for the changes you have done/doing already..... i have a few ideas if they help and i think the first might be the hardest idea....you said you dont want to bother your parents /partners parents with this but the old saying a problem shared etc and you might be surprised in which way they could offer help.......you dont say whether your dd is in these clubs because of your work commitment etc...if so is it possible she could go to grandparents instead.....also your parents/partners parents instead of buying you gifts at christmas maybe some groceries, they will want to help you....but please dont be too proud to ask because you just never know another idea involves christmas i have 4 children and the best christmas presents they ever had if you ask them was a big box filled with blown up balloons then the box wrapped .....another idea involes food.....my oh is a major meat eater and loves things like cottage pie too i buy tescco mince £2 for 800g i divide it in half putting one half in freezer then using the other half out comes my food processor and in goes mushrooms beans carrots even dry bread .....then mix it with the mince and cook all together with some gravy granules ....bit sneaky in my house my kids hate mushrooms yet they eat them everyweek hope this might help a bit xx

ampersand

Just checking in with a wave of relief, ws, after several hours of Fixit talk to Mumbai, when 'putah wouldn't connect on this wildest and windiest of Sundays.
Wanted to remind you that you're just a keyboard[and a CAP call] away from friends, support, help - in any order. You have so quickly found acceptance and well-earnt congratulation for all you've expressed and done so far.
Tomorrow's Monday - a new day - OH back to work? With a bit of own time/own space, you can take things a step or two further.
We'll just be relieved to hear from you, however the day goes.
Below is part of sth rcvd yesterday from mot - she knows I'm an old cynic, not a saccharine sisterhood member, moi.
If I can cope with this one, so can you?

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men...

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
Please pass this along to all your women friends and relatives to remind them just how amazing they are.
##########
So, I'm breaking one entrenched habit of my battle-scarred lifetime and OBEYING!

ws, it's yours now:j!
[mot will approve ]

fabforty

In your post you say that you have been paying for food etc on your credit cards. If that's the case, then I am wondering about the £400 for groceries on your SOA? Are you using your card and then paying £400 off of the bill each month? If not, you need to look at what this £400 is actually being spent on because it can't be groceries (these are on your credit card). Same goes for anything that you are using credit cards for.