struggling after a yr out

the_devil_made_me_do_it

I had to take a year out of uni at the end of my 1st yr due to ill health. I didn't get a chance to sit the exams, but was told I could sit them the next summer.

I kinda decided during the yr out, that I wasn't going to go back to uni. However, about 3 days before the first exam, the uni telephoned me and suggested I sit the exams as I didn't need a high percentage to go through to 2nd yr. They also said, if I passed the exams and still decided not to return, I would at least have a certificate of education to prove I had completed 1 yr at university.

I decided to give it a go and somehow managed to pass the exams. Obviously I felt quite chuffed and made the decision to return and start the 2nd yr.

Any, 5 or so weeks into the 1st term and I feel frightend and am finding settling in a big problem. Obviously, my knowledge is rather rusty and I am struggling even to remember how to write an essay. I'm also the oldest in the group by a good 18 yrs, so mixing with the other students isn't proving easy. I just feel so underconfident and low, that I just don't know what to do. I'm even making silly mistakes like leaving my memory pen in the class and going home without it.

Any advice or words of wisdom and comfort?

Impet_Limpet

It sounds like you have two issues, with your fears and emotions being one of them and the academic issues on catching up being the second.

Do you university offer a counselling service? They are not just there for the big things like berevement and stress. They can help you make more sense of your situation and give support and guidence. It sounds like you may have decided to return on a whim, as you were happy to not go back to uni originally.

If you have a student support service that offers help in writing essays, taking notes etc they may help your academic side of things.

bestpud

Lol, no words of wisom, or I'd apply them to myself!

I could have written that post.

Have you contacted a student counsellor?

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat about it but I'm afraid I can offer little more than empathy!

Oldernotwiser

If you can pass university exams with 3 days' notice, having done no relevant work for a year, you must be doing something right!

I'd second the suggestion of counselling and also wonder whether your university has some kind of mature students' society that you could get involved with. I've been the only mature student in a group and I know it isn't always easy; I wouldn't worry about mixing with the younger students but would try to make friends nearer your own age away from the course.

the_devil_made_me_do_it

I am not too bothered about making friends with the younger students per se, but due to my underconfidence, I feel it would be good if I could at least confer over how others are finding the work and whether others are struggling or not.

My attendance isn't the best at the moment either because of how I'm feeling.

Impet_Limpet

the_devil_made_me_do_it wrote: »

My attendance isn't the best at the moment either because of how I'm feeling.

If this is the case then if you do nothing else today arrange to or speak to counsellor urgently. As the longer poor attendance continues the more you will struggle.

Queen_of_NO_MATTER_WHAT

I'm a mature student, perhaps not as big a gap, I'm 27, most of my class this year are about 19/20, so 6/7 years between us but it feels like 100 at times! I've found uni is actually a very lonley experience, outside of classes and lectures I spend the rest of the time on my own studying.

Firstly well done on passing your exams, that's pretty awesome and I wish that could be my experience but sadly I have to work my !!!! off for everything to get anyway an even then I still feel like I'm drowning!

My biggest tip is turn up, despite how you feel, just turn up. I've found that when I've missed classes and lectures because the pace is so quick I end up lost and that can lead to me feeling insecure. Talk to student support or student services, at my uni you can get support for mental health issues (which includes depression - please don't freak at the label of mental health, its just what they call it), you can get a support worker who will help you stay motivated, they are there to help you with practical ways of helping you to study rather than the emotional side. Also use your tutors, ask questions, email them, make appointments, I'm doing this more this year and it's helping a lot.

Good luck, you can do it

yully

Hi, I'm in a very similar situation. I'm retaking my second year as I couldn't complete it last year due to ill health and family problems. I was very nervous about restarting and not knowing anyone in that year group. I'm also a mature student and don't live in student accomodation so had no contact with the year group I'm now in. Initially I turned up for the lectures, sat on my own and then went home, however now I know quite a few other students and feel settled. I found that I got to know people through the group work sessions and seminar work and not everyone, particularly mature students had a large group of friends.
Normally i'm very shy and really find initiating conversations very difficult but I bit the bullet and in lectures began to sit next to other mature students and between lectures started to chat with them. I always found a good starting point was 'did you understand any of that?'.
On the plus side now i'm not with my original group of friends i'm actually attending more lectures instead of disappearing of to the shops and listening and taking notes instead of reading crappy magazines and doind sudoku! Also because of the seminars and group work I've been in a position where I've had to speak up and not rely on others speaking up, I've found my self confidence has real grown and i'm actually happier at uni now than in previous years.
If you'd like to pm me at anytime for moral support or just a moan please do, as I say I know exactly what you''re going through xx

dawyldthing

I had a similar problem where I had to defer a year due to me failing a English exam that was a core to my course, so had to defer. I struggled for the first few weeks, but then started sitting on tables where there were space and generally got to know people on my course, plus I was in a different class to my own for the non core as they had already done the ones I needed to do, so got to know a lot of new people. I won't lie, at first it was a struggle but when you get to know your cohort and get talking then you will get introduced to others on your course and it will make it easier for group work and the like. As for out of uni, we sometimes all meet up, but its mainly in uni. I ended up setting up a facebook group for my area as I knew that theres students and professionals either new to the area or have friends that have moved, so did it so that i wasn't always in all the time. Check on facebook if there are groups like that, and in your spare time see if there is any sports teams or different groups that your interested in as it could help, i have played football for 3 of my 4 years and have met some of the nicest people through doing it. It certainly is difficult, but it is manageable

For uni work - try and find all the help sheets you can and check in your module handbook to help.

the_devil_made_me_do_it wrote: »

I had to take a year out of uni at the end of my 1st yr due to ill health. I didn't get a chance to sit the exams, but was told I could sit them the next summer.

I kinda decided during the yr out, that I wasn't going to go back to uni. However, about 3 days before the first exam, the uni telephoned me and suggested I sit the exams as I didn't need a high percentage to go through to 2nd yr. They also said, if I passed the exams and still decided not to return, I would at least have a certificate of education to prove I had completed 1 yr at university.

I decided to give it a go and somehow managed to pass the exams. Obviously I felt quite chuffed and made the decision to return and start the 2nd yr.

Any, 5 or so weeks into the 1st term and I feel frightend and am finding settling in a big problem. Obviously, my knowledge is rather rusty and I am struggling even to remember how to write an essay. I'm also the oldest in the group by a good 18 yrs, so mixing with the other students isn't proving easy. I just feel so underconfident and low, that I just don't know what to do. I'm even making silly mistakes like leaving my memory pen in the class and going home without it.

Any advice or words of wisdom and comfort?

the_devil_made_me_do_it

Well, it's the end of the first term and I have continued to struggle. My health hasn't been too good either, so that has interferred with my attendance and ability to study. I've missed a number of lectures and didn't complete a couple of formative assignments. Is there any chance that this will all work out in the end, or am I just p***ing in the wind?

melancholly

well it sounds like little has changed since you started the degree in 07... having been through your options then, i don't know what else to add now... it's a real shame that you're still unhappy. honestly, if you don't do compulsary work, then it's tricky for you...

have you been to:

1. your personal tutor?
2. counselling service?
3. student services/support to help with ensuring you have completed the appropriate forms for being ill?

the only way it will work out is if you want it - degrees require you to take control.... you're clearly capable but just not motivated. is this the right course for you? would a different one will be better? will your health allow you to achieve minimum attendance (although missing a few lectures won't be the end of the world!)?

if this isn't for you, that's ok! if it is and you just need to apply yourself to reach a point where the topics interest you, then stick it out.

you have to make the decision and perhaps the sooner you make it, the sooner you'll feel back in control?