How Much Should I Aim For?

aliadds

Not sure if i've titled this properly, or posted it in the right section, but hopefully someone can advise me!
My husband left me for someone else just over two years ago and we are recently divorced after 20 years of marriage.
I've just received a letter from my solicitor to sort out the financial split within the next seven days or he will close the file and send me a final bill. In all fairness I have put my head in the sand for some time, rather than deal with this, as the thought of losing my home as well as my marriage is like the final straw. Now I have to face up to it!
I want to speak to my ex, who I'm on fairly amicable terms with and try to reach an agreement. The house is 3 years old and worth about £160,000. The outstanding mortgage is for £85,000. He has not contributed anything since he left in August 2007. My annual income is approx. £14000. We still have a fixed rate mortgage in joint names until Feb 2011. I do realise that i probably wouldn't get a mortgage for that amount in my name only. I think i will have to be strong and face up to the fact that i will have to sell my home!
Any suggestions on what i should offer my husband. I have a grown up son and the two family pets living with me as well!

Pee

You should be speaking to your solicitor about this.

You want the maximum that you can get. Does he have a pension? Might you keeping the house and he keeping the pension with you agreeing to use best endeavours to get him removed from the mortgage in due course be an option?

What is the point of having a solicitor if you don't ask these questions?

aliadds

No....the only thing is the equity in the house. Neither of us have pension or savings and we each kept our own vehicle.
I have spoken to my solicitor previously and he suggested that if we couldn't reach a satisfactory conclusion that we might go through a mediator! In most other things I am strong and able to negotiate and achieve a satisfactory outcome. But unfortunately I am still very fragile about the breakdown of my marriage.
I have made an appointment to see my solicitor and a financial advisor in the next few days, but just thought somebody may have another view on the situation that might help!

Pee

How old is the grown up son and is he able to work?

Is raising £20,000 to buy your husband out an option for you? Possibly with your son getting involved in the home ownership? This may just be backing up problems for the future. If your husband is not pushing, why not let your solicitor close your file. make sure you have a will leaving your assets to your son, though.

aliadds

He's 20 and employed. It is something we've considered, and he would be willing to become a part owner....say 25%. However he has an outstanding car loan, and I don't know how good his credit score would be. I will take financial details of income and outgoings to the financial advisor (for both of us) and see what suggestions he has.
Thank you for the advice about the will.

Pee

If he's 20, I'd say there is a reasonable chance that in 5 years time he would be looking at buying with a girlfriend, so maybe this wouldn't be a great way forward... maybe I'm wrong, that's just an assumption on his age, you'd know lots more about his character.

Pee

Is your mortgage less than the rent on a similiar property would be?

aliadds

Well at the moment I'm paying interest only with a sum of £365 a month. Similar properties are being rented for £550 a month.
I totally agree what your saying about my son buying his own place, and for this reason make him aware of the pro's and con's of the situation.
I think i have to face up to the fact that i will have to sell this house...which is a 3 bed semi, and look at buying a smaller, less expensive property. I will still need to negotiate a good settlement though in order to afford to buy again.
Even if a bs were to lend me 4 x my income....that would still only be £56,000.

RAS

Hi

A lot depends when your husband want the equity. Obviuosly uyou need to go for what you can get.

One option for increasign your actual income would have been to take a lodger (or two) as this is tax free income upto the £4750 ish limit on one room.

is you son contributing to the household expenditure?

Can you increase your income?

aliadds

Yes he contributes financially and is the most MSE 20 yr old I know.:j
Well I have some good news...in the short term. I just spoke to my ex, who in spite of our differences, is a good person. He said the last thing he wants is to put us out of our home, and he is not bothered about having any money at this moment in time. We will make some sort of statement to this effect, and also that if either of us dies the house will go to the other. This is such a relief for me. I know it will still have to be addressed in the future. Basically neither of us want to rip the other one off!
Did have a lodger but it didn't work out....he left owing me money. Therefore i'd rather not go down that route again!

zenmaster

aliadds wrote: »

Well at the moment I'm paying interest only with a sum of £365 a month.

That seems a lot on an £85k mortgage. I'm currently paying less than half that on £98k.

Are you tied into your current mortgage? Would your ex be willing to help you switch if necessary? If so it might be worth looking around.