Reassurance needed please!

sagittarius_2

Hi, I feel like a snoop as have been reading this site for months now and have finally picked up courage to join.
My hubby and I have finally given up fighting and are due to go bankrupt this week. I have read and read all the wonderful advice on here and now have information overload.......and the mother of all headaches!
Without going into details, due to being left with ex's debts and then accruing our own due to 'life stuff', we were advised 3 years ago to go bankrupt but pride set in and I talked us out of it. We struggled with my 2 kids and then his moving in 2 years ago which put more strain. But we mananged and paid minimum payments and only missed a rare few. In june this year my hubby lost his job. With out his income we could bearly live let alone pay debts so took advice from cccs (who have been fantastic and I am their no. 1 fan) and hence here I am.......looking for reassurance that we are not heading for another bad decision made along the rocky road of life???!!!

My hubby has since found a job but pays 20k less than before - but he is so happy and we have learnt that sanity is worth SO much more than money in bank!

I have so many questions but am continuing to read through and hopefully will find answers as you guys seem to know your stuff!

Please reassure me that we are doing the right thing!!!!
Thanks in anticipation

B x

Susie54_2

Hello B and welcome:j.

Declaring yourself bankrupt is a very personal thing, no-one can truly tell you it's right or not. I'm just about to set off on the route too , my trouble is I'm feeling guilty. I never owed a penny until my marriage broke down and since then its just been downhill financially speaking. But, like you, CCCS have been really supportive and pointed out that if my income stayed as it is (I'm self employed), I'd be debt free in approx 32 years:eek:. Jees I could be dead and still paying the damn thing off, so for me, BR is the only way to go.

Don't feel guilty, life can be a real cow and throw up the worst obstacles - it's how you deal with it thats important and to come out the other side with your head held high and your health intact.

I wish you all the luck in whatever decision you make.
Susie x

sagittarius_2

Thankyou for your post,

I am selfemployed too, my estimate for being debt free was 28yrs, my hubbys 56yrs lol hence going bankrupt this week.......decision is already made.....no other option really. I KNOW that we will survive this and look back and think why didnt we do this before. I KNOW that the court day will not be as bad as I'm imagining. I KNOW that i am going to probably sleep next week. I KNOW that we are going to have a 'life' after this week. So if I KNOW all this, why am i feeling so sick, scared and researching every possible outcome so i can 'KNOW' it all and it makes me feel no better lol !!!!

Also, quick question.......does being a selfemployed childminder mean that I will have to have a meeting with OR rather than phone call?
and.........
if me and hubby are going bankrupt same day and on our SOA we've put both incomes and expediture same and both forms say our surplus is £88 pm do they half this or is it a surplus of £88 each??? i cant explain it properly what i mean so hope someone gets this question.........i am slowing loosing my mind i think lol

MicheH

Hi Sagittarius,

You might have read some of my posts on here over the last few months, I've posted a lot about the negative side of bankruptcy, the mental torture you put yourself through, the feelings of - well every feeling under the sun you go through to be honest. The struggle with insurances and battles with utilities, the finding of rental accomodation and dealing with fibbing lenders who mess around in the repossession process.

It's only negative if you let it bother you, and I let it bother me too much but it's always been in me to be a worrier.

DH and I have been BR for 3 months now, moved to a lovely new rental, new life where no one knows us, lovely new school, an acedemic plan for me to get into Uni when youngest goes to school and i'm now a stay at home mam with my girls. I am so sorry for myself that I have to have this bankruptcy on my life's record but who actually cares. Bankruptcy was the only option for us, we had to do it, we now are starting again and many people know why we've moved and what's happened. Maybe they talk about me behind my back but it really doesn't bother me. I am me, living with mine, happily.

I will never ever regret bankruptcy, it's like you say about the quality of life, life goes on and you make the changes you have to and grow from it.

I can't say that bankruptcy is the best option for you, I can't say that it won't be a bad decision but I can say that it's there, use it, move on, plan for better.

Just be aware that you are your own worst enemy and on the days when you're feeling really low, that is the opinion only you have of yourself

MicheH

I was a self employed childminder (the reason why we had to take the pluge, work dried up really badly) I still had a telephone interview.

I'm not sure about the surplus because I don't earn anything any more, it's all DH's income for us. Hope some one can help you with that

sagittarius_2

Thankyou all so much for your quick posts,

i've been reading this site for months and have been 'shy' and hiding, wish i'd posted months ago.......

I'm trying to find out every single possible outcome that might happen so no big surprises happen but am finding that to every answer i find to my questions, more questions appear!

As for the emotions......we're due this week at court and its PMT week!! that was really bad planning lol

Susie54_2

Think you're in need of a huge :grouphug: xx

sagittarius_2

Thanks Susie,

Am avoiding hugs cos am keeping tears at bay but will accept yours with much gratitude xxx

dojoman

Hi and welcome to the forum, don`t worry most of us have been where you are, we go BR in 2 weeks and I am up and down like the proverbial yoyo. In the end we had no option either but the help and advice I have received on the forum is invaluable. At least it gives you a chance of starting again with no debt to worry about. So just ask as many questions as you feel you need to, and someone will always be along to help, just remember you are not alone, there are thousands of people in the same situation.

MicheH

That's a point dojoman, at least we're one big statistical club, we're not on our own are we? There's many more bankrupts to come too.. so sad to the point where we can actually think that it wasn't all our fault that cirumstances have changed in the world making our lives harder.. something to think about on the down days

jamesdrew

Do not let the personal issues of bankruptcy upset you. In the old days there was a certain stigma attached to it but bankruptcy is a common everyday word these days and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. I know many people who in hindsight say that the day they declared themselves bankrupt was the best day of their lives. You have mada a descision that will consolidate your financial situation and help you rebuild your lives and I am sure you will sleep better at night. Be proud and good luck . . .