I'm a DFW but need some job advice

mountainofdebt

Right hope everyone is sitting comfortably as this is going to be a long one!

I started a new job 6 months ago and very quickly realised that it wasn't really for me, in part becasue of it being so repeatitive (its the sort of job where you know what you're going to be doing on a monday morning 10 years from now sort of repeatitve) but mainly because my boss - to put it quite frankly - is a bully.

Anyway I've kept making silly, stupid mistakes - in main I think because I am so up tight about the situation and my boss - that in my end of probation meeting yesterday I was told that my probation was being extended into July. Lucky I had wind of this so I could prepare something mentally. Anyway it now seems that my boss is keeping a list of everything that I do wrong. What has really upset me today is that no 1 on the list is him having to remind me to do something yesterday....which just isn't true - I knew I had to see a colleague about it but we agreed to leave it to the afternoon as she was busy when I first went to see her.

In my probation meeting I didn't exactly say out right that he was a bully - I said I thought our relationship needed working on and I was told by our ultimate boss (who was also in the meeting) that the relationship would improve when I improved.

The situation has got so bad that its affecting me at home and in situations where I would stand up for myself has now seen me wimping out and I hate myself for it.

Whilst I think he's gunning for me (and I really don't know why) and won't be happy until I've left (either jumped or pushed) but what concerns me is what do I do in meantime.

I've seen a couple of jobs that I could do but are part-time when I really want (from a career and financial point of view) full time - would you go for them and if you get one leave or would you hang on until a full time position arose?

I know this isn't strictly a DFW question but would appreciate it being left on this board.

lynzpower

Personally, if you can afford it, jump before you are pushed.

"the relationship will improve when youve improved" sounds to me like organisational dysfunction. At the end of the day, decent management is about encouraging, teaching and communicating with each other to get the best out of thier staff. This sounds like bullying all over, and institutional bullying at that.

Do you have a trade union.? Do you know why your pre-decessor left?

CLAPTON

how many fulltime jobs opportunities are there? if there's a lot i think you maybe should stay and go for that but if they are few and far between then jump before being pushed. however will the reduction in pay be a major burden.
but no point staying in a bullying place for long.

Broken_hearted

Get away if you can find another job. It will start damaging your health if you live in constant fear or stress.

Ali-OK

Agree with the above advice. You don't want your confidence denting further through working for a bully. Believe in your experience, knowledge and skills and go through every job-hunting avenue you can think of.

I'd normally encourage people to get another job for leaving their current, but in your situation it is probably better to jump before pushed.

Could you sign up and get work through agencies to bridge the gap to a permanent job?

never_again_2

I have exactly the same problem with my job - boss is a bully. Resulted in me sobbing uncontroably for 4 hours straight one night. Luckly I have been able to find another job with only a small wage reducation and I start next week. Personally I was willing to take anything (within reason of course), even if I had to work two part time jobs. I would have rather postponed my debt recovery programme for a couple of months than risk a potential breakdown. If I were you, and I sort of am being in the same boat, find something else; your debt repayments can pick up again when you are in a decent secure job that you enjoy. You wouldn't want to make yourself ill and not be able to work at all.

luckylukey

I too handed in my resignation last week because of my bullying boss (yay for me!). Knowing when I need to have another job by in order to carry on repaying my debts is motivating me! I intend to make a formal complaint to HR at my exit interview. Perhaps you could do the same?

LookingAhead

If you can afford it (and only if you can afford it) then go. However I would strongly advise you to put it in writing to your HR team/have exit interview or whatever it takes, that you believe there to be bullying or at the very least, no support and an intimidating atmosphere.

I would do that if only to try and stop it happening to your successor.

beanielou

Difficult one mountain of debt.
Hope you can sort out in your head what steps to take next

pixie1

never_again wrote:

I have exactly the same problem with my job - boss is a bully. Resulted in me sobbing uncontroably for 4 hours straight one night. Luckly I.

I had the same situation approx 8 years ag. I was told by my boss whist sobbing uncontroably because I just couldnt take anymore, to 'pull myself together'. A course of prozac, six months off work sick and many, many councilling session later.......

If you can get out do it asap having a mini break down which I did, doesnt look good on your cv.

Good luck to you

Pixie

piglet6

Speaking from personal experience, I would say leave now if you can. I was in a similar situation several years ago (spent several hours crying most evenings at home, and Sundays were so miserable, looking forward to the week ahead...), and handed my notice in without another job to go to - but knew it was the right thing to do when I realised that I felt that having "no" job was better than having "that" job!:eek: I left and took a temping job, and the relief I felt at not having to go into the old job and face the bullying boss was worth any amount of salary drop (and I quickly found a new job, which paid me more, and although I worried temporarily about explaining the quick changeover in the CV, I explained it as a "personality clash" and emphasised the fact that I was mature enough to admit that I had made a mistake in judgement and had the guts to do something about it and improve the situation, rather than just sit it out in misery in order to look good on paper - and nobody seemed to have a problem with this; in fact, I think it was probably seen as a plus rather than a negative factor!):D .

I don't know what you do and whether temping is an option for you, but I cannot stress just how damaging a bullying boss can be - despite getting a new and much improved job quite quickly, it never failed to amaze me that my new boss was happy during my annual appraisals, because in the 5 months I had been with the bully, being told how "crap" I was every day - and she used that exact word - sunk in and I began to believe it about myself. Even now (8 years and two very successful and happy jobs later!) I still have moments of self-doubt when my bully's old comments come back to haunt me and I still believe her and doubt my own abilities!:mad:

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - I really hope it works out for you and you get something new and fantastic, which is deserving of you, soon.

:grouphug:

Piglet

P.S. Taking LookingAhead's comments about letting HR know, I agree, although HR teams are quite perceptive in this regard, even if they are not very open in admitting it (and most give exit interviews in order to pinpoint this exact problem). In my case, I was the PA to the Assistant Director of HR of a very large investment bank in the City of London (now there's a joke!!:rotfl: ), but actually, the fact that I was willing to leave with no new job to go to made it perfectly clear to the HR director (my bullying boss's boss!) that there was a problem...;)