Ideas for elderly mum

georgia1

My Mum is 80 and lives with my Dad (88) in a little flat around 5 miles away from me. In the summer she fell and broke her hip - her recovery has been long and very slow because due to osteoporosis she couldn't have a proper hip replacement - they have just pinned it.

Despite having severe arthritis making it painful to walk, before the accident Mum led quite a busy life. She could drive and visited the elderly(!) and belonged to various social groups, went out to meals, to the theatre etc. This has now stopped because she is unable to get out unless I take her in the wheelchair (I've no siblings). I try to do so regularly but with working and running a family it's not always easy.

I fear that Mum is beginning to deteriorate mentally due to lack of stimulation. She can't stand for very long so no longer does much cooking and she is spending much of the day reading, watching TV or sleeping. I've bought her some wool and she's going to do some knitting for charity but due to the arthritis in her hands I'm not sure how easy she'll find this. Has anyone got any other ideas of activities she could do at home?

I'm going to explore whether the local 'Dial a ride' service for the disabled could take her to some of her previous social groups, although Mum isn't sure how reliable this is talking to various friends. She finds it difficult to get in and out of the car and because she's also got a wheelchair now many of her elderly friends would be unable to give her a lift because they wouldn't have the ability to get the wheelchair in and out the car or to support and help her to get in and out either.

Sorry for such a long waffly post - any ideas would be much appreciated!

flutterbyuk25

My nan is in her late 80s, she is partially blind and has mobility problems. She belongs to a weekly social club that picks up any member that needs it, it's run by the local council so try asking them. It's an all day club so they get elevenses, cooked lunch and afternoon tea. They have craft things, bingo, speakers, dances etc. She really enjoys it and wouldn't get out much otherwise. She used to go with my grandad but sadly he passed away in May this year. She has said that the club has helped her with the grieving as she has so many friends there.

My nan lives is sheltered housing. has her own flat but there is a warden on site who checks on the residents and arranges handymen etc. Some sheltered housing have social events daily so it could be a consideration to see whether they would like to move somewhere like this?

HTH

x

margaretclare

Your Mum may have lost confidence due to the fall and the subsequent hospital admission and pinning of hip.

I go to a local retirement complex where they have a weekly keep-fit sitting on chairs. This is very important, to help keep up muscle tone, breathing etc. Could you enquire whether there is any such thing in her area, and could she get transport like Dial-a-Ride?

There are usually women's groups at the different churches, and often volunteers will come to provide transport. Could she walk using e.g. a walker, from her door to a car? Could you explain just what the difficulty is that she has with getting into a car?

Also phone the local authority to ask what is provided, what groups etc.

Errata

Georgia, your local Age Concern / Help the Aged branch may be able to give you info on what's vailable locally and how it can be accessed.
It would also be worth having a word with your local social services team for older people as they may be able to suggest things you or your mum haven't even though of.
Does your mum get Attendance Allowance ? She should be eligible to apply for it and it would perhaps pay for a wheelchair friendly taxi for her
HTH

Oldernotwiser

Errata wrote: »

Does your mum get Attendance Allowance ? She should be eligible to apply for it and it would perhaps pay for a wheelchair friendly taxi for her
HTH

Don't forget that there isn't a mobility component to AA and the OP hasn't mentioned any care needs.

honeyD

My Grandmother is 72 and she keeps her mind active by using a computer (she likes to play games lol), doing crosswords, knitting and my Mother makes her leave the house everyday even if it is just to go to the shop. My gran will say to everyone my Mum makes her go everywhere but she enjoys it really lol.:D
My other grandparents are a different story. My Grandad (80) used to be very outgoing and always out socialising at the pubs or playing dominos and darts. He had a fall while he was out and just stopped going. He now has dementia which we feel is because he has stopped using his mind. They just sit in front of the tv all day and never go out which is a shame. My other gran (76) has been going a bit, whats the word?, not herself. Shes so forgetful (same as grandad) and there have been numerous occasions they left the gas cooker going and when anyone went in saying they smell gas they just say they felt tired so it got to a really dangerous place really and they have carers now. Gran used to do crosswords all the time and knitting but shes stopped.
I think you just have to try and keep their minds active, can your mum do crossword books? Its a good way to keep the mind active I find.

Errata

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Don't forget that there isn't a mobility component to AA and the OP hasn't mentioned any care needs.

Take your point, but it costs nothing to apply so thought it was worth a shot in the light of the ladies mobility problems perhaps necessitating a bit of help with personal care - perhaps from her OH ?

ailuro2

What about shopmobility, where they give out electric scooters to get aorund town on? She'd meet new people too, and it would help retain her independence.

If she liked it and was able she could get her own one, and still be able to get out and about come the better weather.

Can she use a DS? Games like brain training wear off quickly, but there are others along the lines of professor layton's curious village that are more taxing that she might like if she's able to hold the stylus.(perhaps put rubber bands round it to give her better grip??)

georgia1

Thank you to everyone for your replies - there are some useful suggestions there. I have thought about Attendance Allowance for Mum - I need to look into in a bit more carefully - I seem to think there is a 6 month qualifying period, which would take us to January but perhaps we can start the application process now.

margaretclare wrote: »

There are usually women's groups at the different churches, and often volunteers will come to provide transport. Could she walk using e.g. a walker, from her door to a car? Could you explain just what the difficulty is that she has with getting into a car?

Also phone the local authority to ask what is provided, what groups etc.

Mum has problems literally getting out the main front door entrance to the flats where she lives - it takes her ages and she's really nervous as she finds it difficult to lift up her leg and then put weight on it while getting the other leg out the door IYSWIM. She has been practising this with the physio today though. She then has to sort of back herself into the car seat, (swivelling round on the plastic bag she has on the car seat) and then may need help to get her legs in. It can be done but it's not always easy for her.

She already belongs to lots of groups from before she broke her hip - the main problem as I was discussing with her today is getting her there. She seems reluctant to try Dial-a-ride but I will make some further investigations there as I think that would be really useful to her.

Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to reply - I really appreciate it.

[Deleted User]

Age Concern (as Erratta said) are a really great resource for things such as this. I'm on placement there (I'm a student social worker) and a call to them and they will be able to help advise (signpost etc) to various things in the area your mum might be interested in. Also they can advice on any entitlement your mum may be eligable for (ours even helps with the forms too).

Also it may be worth a referal to requipment and Adaptations who will assess if your mum needs any equipment to help support around the home. You can also self refer (check out your local council webpage).

Finally, I know many Age Concern provide a handy persons service that fit thngs such as grab rails, where you buy the equipment and they do the fitting for free.

Each Age Concern may provide slightly different services, depending on funding, however if they dont provide it, you can bet they know someone who does.

Good Luck

SL X