how do I find my daughters father please help

freyaluck

Hi

My daughter has asked me to find her biological father for, in the hope that he may want to meet her, I have no idea how to do this.
I have not seen or heared from him in 5 years and Have no Idea where to start looking. I know his full name and the year in which he was born and know whereabouts his family lived and presume they still do.
Please can any one give me some advice thankyou, If you need any more info please let me know And I will pm you,
Thankyou in advance
Frey

illmonkey

i would start with the free options.

Google his name! you never know.
Friendsreunited.co.uk - you can do a person search, if you find him you can mail him.
Yellow pages? 118247?

rchddap1

If you know where some of his family 'use' to live then I'd use that as a very good start. Try to find a phone number....shake for a few days....pluck up the courage and then call it.

My partner wanted to find his daughter that he hadn't seen since birth. He didn't know where she lived, but he knew where a member of her mother's family use to live. He eventually found a phone number and plucked up the courage to call it.

Fortuantely the person was still living there and he said his peice. Essentially at the time all he really wanted was a photograph. He never dreamed what would happen next. That message was passed onto the mother, then the daughter and a day later he received a phone call from a little voice saying "hello dad its me".

He was in tears (literally). That night we went shopping and he managed to get it all done in 5 seconds flat...zooming round the supermarket at a rate of knots.

That weekend I went with him to see her (I had to go too as he was so scared) and things bloomed from there. This was around 2-3 years ago and now he has a brilliant relationship with his daughter seeing her on a regular basis, talking with her, helping her etc...

He imagined that he would get a slap from her if he ever saw her. I suppose for him that was a nice thought as at least he would see her. Instead he was called 'Dad' instantly and got a hug.

We eventually found out that daughter wanted to find him, but just didn't know how to go about it.

Try directory enquries, various people search websites...essentially ask loads of questions and make fools of yourselves to people with the same or similar names but whom have nothing to do with him. Yes I did this once by phone round people with the same name (felt a right twit).

As an added note it took us a long time to find her. The most important thing that your daughter has in her search is courage, persistence, understanding and determination. It may take her sometime to find a member of his family and even then she may not get the response she wants. However, try to remember that this is a very scary time for the father too.

Although my partner was happy he was also completely petrified. He needed me so much around that time as 'protection' if anything went wrong (and this was a 30+ year old man). He wasn't sure if he'd affect her life in a good way or not, how she would affect his life, if he could help her in the future, if they would get on or if she'd want to see him again. He had so many fears that it took a great deal of courage even to make the first phone call....never mind walking through her front door and saying hello. As it turns out his fears were unfounded, but it took a long time to create the 'father / daughter' relationship. And it would have been so easy for things to have gone the other way.

I hope your daughter finds what she is looking for. If you need to bounce any fears, thoughts or ideas off me feel free to PM me.

Becles

Friends Reunited might be a good place to start.

My husband has never seen his daughter (she refused all access, and her family threatened to kill him if he tried!). He recently got an ambigious letter from the CSA saying his claim had ended as there was no longer a responsibility for the child.

He was concerned by this but the CSA were unable to divulge any details about his daughter.

Friends Reunited put his mind at rest, as the mother is on there saying she has moved abroad with her children, which will be why the claim ended.

pickle

If you know the area or think he may still be around it then maybe you can check the electoral roll (which I think is a public document). The local council would probably know.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

The Salvation Army have a tracing service

http://www.look4them.org.uk/page1.html

mookiandco

hi, i have a subscription for the uk electoral register. if you PM me details i would be happy to check a name for you. i can search by surname, forename or full name. if you know the possible area that may narrow it down a bit.

wigginsmum

I'd go with 192.com. With that, the Family Records Office and FriendsReunited, I recently found my birth family.

black-saturn

Isnt it data protection though? Its rather like the thread where the person said he worked for social services.

freyaluck

Hi thanks for all your replys will be looking at all the ways to find him,have put it off for a bit as she is only 7 and don't want him to let her down yet again. I will have a lok through the sites as it would be nice to know where he is even if not to contact him at the moment
thanks
Frey