Social life required...

Frank1in

Hi,
I apologise if this is the wrong place for this.
I moved to London four years ago, didn't know anyone here. I ve been working hard to get my career on track, and I ve neglected the social side of things.:(

I ve realised recently that the only people I know are work colleagues. All I do is go to work and come home. My other half belongs to a car forum and has many friends so we go out quite a bit with them, but they are his mates and mainly lads.

So I m conducting research how do you make friends in london when you are nearly thirty?
I know at school it was quite easy to make friends but now when I m older and most people have an established group......
I thought about evening classes,but as I work shifts it means that I d miss a few of them in a row.
I ve tried joining a gym but it just starts to look like you are chatting someone up if you try and speak to them!! :eek

I feel like putting an advert in the paper! - girl looking for friends to enjoy drinks socialising, gossip, etc. :grouphug:

I don't know if anyone's read 'Brand New Friend' by Mike Gayle but I feel just like that!
Please help me!

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated, I need a social life!!

Prudent

Loneliness is a hard place to be. Hugs to you. On the bright side you do have an OH - some people are entirely alone when they move to new cities with their job. The easiest way is get to know loads of new people is to have children and take them to clubs/ groups, but if that's a bit drastic - what about classes earlier in the day?

Katgoddess

Is there anyway you could swap shifts to, for example always have weds nights off.

What about exercise classes rather than the gym? My local leisure centre has classes 7 days a week.

Come along to MSE meets.

Counting_Pennies_2

How about joining a sports club, London is huge so there must be some clubs nearby. You don't have to be athletic to go there are some low key sports you could play.

See if the local council under adult education do courses in Badminton, tennis, or even croquet. It doesn't matter if you miss a week or two with your shift patterns, and as mentioned before it may be possible to move the odd shift.

Alternatively if you don't fancy a sport, there are other courses you could go on. Try to go for a course that will involve you talking to others. You could try a language, or alternative therapy course that involves integrating.

http://www.learndirect-advice.co.uk/findacourse/
Click on the link above and just put in your post code and how far away you are willing to travel to an activity and see what comes up. A lot probably have already started, but at least it will enable you to see what centres locally offer courses and you can contact them directly to find out when the next course is running.

http://www.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&lr=&q=salsa+dancing&near=London&sa=X&oi=local&ct=title
Or how about going for salsa lessons, the above link gives you details for local venues in London. That will definitely get you meeting and speaking with others.

Or how about going on some London Walks, maybe others go on them regularly, or you could go on them just to find out more about London.

http://www.evanevans.co.uk/output/walking_tours/?gclid=CM3VxIrrm4UCFRAKFQodKWTQmA
http://london.walks.com/
http://www.secretlondonwalks.co.uk/
http://www.tourlondon.com/

Hth

Frank1in

Thanks guys,

I have to say i ve been feeling really low recently and just these few replies have made me feel better already.
Thanks for the suggestons, this is going to be my new project and as soon as the bank holiday is over I m going to start.
Unfortunately I can't change shifts, they are set firmly and I m not sure about having children just yet!!! I haven't noticed any MSE meets as yet, but I ll keep an eye out.
Keep them coming!!

Stevenj214

What about socialising with your work colleagues first?

Invite a female work friend and her partner over for dinner.
Organise a works night out.

hobo28

Hi Frank1in

One of my friends recommended this group to me. Not tried it yet but apparently their open evenings are free so you could give it a bash. http://www.spiceuk.com

hardpressed

Could you try some sort of voluntary work? It's a great way of meeting new people and it enjoyable, ask in your local library about voluntary groups that may interest you and then offer to help. Good Luck.

Emmzi

Try meetup.com

These are groiups organised around common interests,somake conversation easier!

MrsNurseyC

How about getting to know your neighbours a bit better? With the summer weather coming up, maybe holding a barbeque (if u have access to a garden/open space) or house party would be a good way of getting to know any other young people/ couples living nearby?

Or with the World Cup approaching, your OH could invite his mates (from the car forum) over to watch the matches with their girlfriends/wives in tow- football may not be your thing- but it'll provide the opportunity to meet lots more new faces+potential new buddies, without being reliant on your shift pattern.

Good luck Frank1in. I would agree with the poster who mentioned charity work too, I found it good fun and a brilliant way of raising my self esteem when I felt I known no-one, and was doing some 'good work' for a cause close to your heart at the same time!

Personally speaking, I don't think I would reply to a personal ad in the papers for new friends, although it seems a quick and straight to the point solution, as I would be a bit suspicious (sorry) and have noticed that the phone no.s to reply to those things are often premium rate. However, I'm sure there must be lots of people who move to London in the same boat as you, who read the column, so it may work- the captial's a different kettle of fish.

x Claire

emma_b_4

i think ppl advertise on https://www.gumtree.com for social things (its aimed at ppl travelling to london, just moved to london, i think, not 100% sure, i used to use it to look for nanny jobs!)

joining a gym or club would be good, or a course evn if you had time? i have made so many mates at uni, i had got with my OH at 17, house at 19 and many of my old mates filtered out as i didnt have the money for tequila drinking competitions etc in the local cheesy nightclub, and didnt wanna go neway!! so i kind of latched onto simons friends and they are all fab and my mates too now, but it is nice to have some friends of my own, some female input!

good luck xx