Next of Kin and care homes

calleyw

A friend of mine is having a slight issue with a care home that there father is in.

Now my friend is one of three siblings. I will call them A, B, C. My friend is A and is the eldest. Now there father is in a care home put in there by B.

Now it seems that only B is named as next of kin and is the only one who is contacted when their father goes in to hospital etc. My friend A is not able to visit very often due to work commitments, and can only go in evenings/weekends when it seems that no is around they can talk too.

Anyway A's partner has spoke to the care home and said that A should be contacted if there are problems. And the manager/Matron said well B is named contact and that is enough. A's partner said well A is the eldest and should be first name and first to be contacted. The homes attitude seemed to be tough we have one person named and that is enough.

The reason this is such a problem is that B will not talk to A ever even on pain of death.

What rights does A have. Can they insist that there name is put on as next of kin and to be contacted.

Thanks in advance.


Yours


Calley

Dora_the_Explorer_5

The order of next of kin in your friend's case would be the eldest child, A. It may be that dad or B has told the care home B is next of kin, and they have accepted that. Hospital trusts, given the diversity of family life today, will not be too bothered about the correct order of next of kin and accept whichever close relative is nominated as long as there are no objections from other family members or the patient.


I would suggest that A writes to the manager of the care home pointing out that legally they are next of kin and at the same time asking for an appointment with the manager in order to discuss this and to discuss how A will respond to a call from the care home. Care home managers, almost without exception, will be on shift at some point during some weekends and in any case should make themselves available for a spouse/son/daughter to discuss their relatives health status and the care they are receiving.

If dad's care fees are being paid by the local authority and the home won't co-operate with A then then it may be both necessary and wise for A to seek guidance on this matter from the LA.

Care homes usually like to contact the nearest relative first if a resident is admitted to hospital as an emergency, however as B is not speaking to A then it would be perfectly reasonable for A to ask to be contacted if B is, explaining that communication between A and B is sometimes a little difficult.
(In my case I am the contact for the care home my mother's husband lives in, and his son is next of kin and happy for me to deal with anything). Care homes are quite used to members of a resident's family not speaking to each other, it happens very frequently.

If the care home is a private one, then A may have to be very assertive with it to ensure it's co-operation. If it is a local authority home then it would be sensible to copy the LA in on any correspondence.

Last of all, dad has to be happy with the situation if he's able to understand it, his wishes are paramount in all this if he can express them.

Hope this helps, PM me if you'd like to and think I can be of more help.

calleyw

Thanks Dora,

I don't think my friend is that worried in what ordered they are contated be it first or last. But mainly that they are contacted if any thing happens. As there father has been in hospital and they never knew as they where back in the home before they could next visit their father.

I just found the whole situation strange. Becuase when my MIL was in hospital she had 4 boys and the hospital put all the boys names down as contact for next of kin. And when she passed away in the middle of the night. They where all called in turn to let them know what happened.

B in this case is physically the furtherest away.

Families got to love them

My friend just wanted to know if he is legally entitled to make a case and make the home put them down as point of contact and next of kin.

I will tell them to make the time to make an appointment for during the day and get something sorted out.

Yours


Calley

hardpressed

Surely it must depend if 'Dad' is able to give consent, if so and he has said his next of kin is B then that's up to him. It doesn't have to be a relative if it's his choice.

calleyw

hardpressed wrote:

Surely it must depend if 'Dad' is able to give consent, if so and he has said his next of kin is B then that's up to him. It doesn't have to be a relative if it's his choice.

I don't know. I assumed that as A's father was put in a home by B with out consultation with his siblings A and C that is why he was put down as next of kin and no one else.

My friend is not aware that their father has said he does not want A or C as next of kin.

From what has been said it seems as though B seems to think he can do what he likes and acts as if he is an only child. And not have siblings and does not keep them in the loop of what is going on.


Yours


Calley

margaretclare

calleyw wrote:

I don't know. I assumed that as A's father was put in a home by B with out consultation with his siblings A and C that is why he was put down as next of kin and no one else.

My friend is not aware that their father has said he does not want A or C as next of kin.

From what has been said it seems as though B seems to think he can do what he likes and acts as if he is an only child. And not have siblings and does not keep them in the loop of what is going on.

Hi calley

Can someone be 'put into a home', as A's father seems to have been, without their own consent? Wouldn't father have specified his next-of-kin on being admitted into the home?

Margaret Clare

AussieLass

Sounds to me that B has been appointed Power of Attorney. "A" can still make an appt and tell them of the situation with her relationship with B and they can put her on the call list. Hope she gets it sorted.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

margaretclare wrote:

Hi calley

Can someone be 'put into a home', as A's father seems to have been, without their own consent? Wouldn't father have specified his next-of-kin on being admitted into the home?

Margaret Clare

Margaret, yes they can be if they don't have capacity and they are at risk, unable to care for themselves and with no-one else to care for them. Of course, the family will have to agree that that is the best solution. It's a bit of a grey area, human rights wise, but usually everyone concerned uses their common sense.

calleyw

AussieLass wrote:

Sounds to me that B has been appointed Power of Attorney. "A" can still make an appt and tell them of the situation with her relationship with B and they can put her on the call list. Hope she gets it sorted.

As far as they are aware there is no POA at all. As their father will not agree to it.


Yours


Calley

calleyw

margaretclare wrote:

Hi calley

Can someone be 'put into a home', as A's father seems to have been, without their own consent? Wouldn't father have specified his next-of-kin on being admitted into the home?

Margaret Clare

Margaret,

We (My friend and I)assume that their father would have agreed to this but from what has been said it seems if either A or C had suggested it then he would not have. But as B is the favourite he seems to agree with everything that is said or done by B. And neither A or C where asked opinions of what was best. And which home would be best.

And all that A wants is to know if their father goes in to hospital. From a personal stand point let alone my friends. I would like to know if my family where ill and had to go in to hospital.

A's mother is in the same home and the same thing is happening with her.

Unless there are objections from the father/mother I don't see why all the children can not be noted down as next of kin to be contacted.

Also the home seem to have the attitude and where rather rude and abrupt to A's partner.

Yours


Calley