MONEY MORAL DILEMMA. Should Karl let the neighbours use his garden?

orangerose1 · 28 October 2009 at 11:37AM

It's always easier to 'get nicer' than it is too 'fall out'.
As Karl is new it doesn't matter if his neighbours dislike him in the beginning, as there's no relationship to be destroyed etc. He is legally entitled to say 'no' (I think! What about those people who walk across someones garden for 20 years and then claim right of way ?). So he should politely say 'no'; if they are cross, so be it. Over the months he can build a relationship based on the usual neighbourly things like saying 'Hi', taking in parcels , moving the bins etc. Then they will grow to like each other and who knows, one day, he might let them use his garden; though that is very unusual and fraught with potential problems. If the neighbours resent all of this he might think he's had a lucky escape as nice people would realise how lucky they had been and not put any pressure on him at all.

eggdipdip · 28 October 2009 at 11:54AM

As previously mentioned, you pay a premium for a garden so why share unless it will benefit you? I know it may not seem very neighbourly, but my experience is, is you give people an inch they'll take a mile! We had a very similar situation when our new upstairs neighbours moved in. We went round to introduce ourselves, welcome them to the street etc. But they immediately informed us they were planning to turn our flat roof in their roof garden - when we said no (because it was our property and not part of their property AND it's a flat roof not designed even to be walked on, let alone turned into a garden AND we weren't keen on losing our privacy) it all turned a bit nasty. They continued to walk on the roof and insisted on hanging their washing out to dry on it. Eventually things came to a head and we had to tell them very strongly to stay off our property.

Good neighbours are very hard to find, but once a line has been crossed, every little insignificant niggle turns into a major issue!

freeasabird · 28 October 2009 at 12:08PM

triticale wrote: »

Simply no. Privacy is priceless, and written agreements/conditions are just not worth the hassle.

I agree. Karl presumably paid more money for the ground floor flat and I doubt if allowing the neighbours to use the garden was a clause in the lease. The neighbours are trying to take advantage of the friendship they had with the previous owner. The thought of strange people (remember Karl doesn't know them) in my garden would be unbearable.

walrusoflove · 28 October 2009 at 12:08PM

He needs to be polite but firm and state that he's the owner now and what was in the past is in the past. The previous owner might have had the neighbours round for dinner three times a week, too, but he can't be expected to continue that either!!

Yogibear · 28 October 2009 at 12:15PM

I would save no I used to do my neighbours garden weed it cut the grass as he was working long hours!! 7-7 I thought but found out that he worked 9-4 and went to his mums for his dinner so muggins here was being treated like a fool as in the long summer hols he never cut it once,its like a field:rotfl:

wendyA2 · 28 October 2009 at 12:15PM

How would this be any different to anyone using your garden? I live in a semi-detached. So would I be expected to let next door use my garden 'just because they did before'?

I think Karl has every right to say no and not feel bad about it. It's his garden. I have lived in flats with no garden and didn't expect to be able to just ask someone with one to use theirs. It's just tough and you have to go to parks more and hang washing in the bathroom.

Primrose · 28 October 2009 at 12:33PM

I think he should be cautious about allowing them unlimited use. It could turn out to be a 'custom and practice' situation where eventually he finds he has lost control of his own garden. If he is prepared to allow them some use on the grounds of being neighbourly, he should set out his conditions in writing, i.e. can be used on specific days for drying washing but e.g. no spontaneous barbeques without his prior agreement or dogs/cats, etc. If he doesn't set out boundaries he could well find he ends up being taken advantage of if his neighbours are inconsiderate, and a large goup of rowdy friends suddenly turn up for a barbeque when he wanted a quiet afternoon in his garden.

crazymother · 28 October 2009 at 1:03PM

I would say no. Having been in a similar situation re shared drive, if you are too obliging, the neighbours trample all over you...

Drama_Queen · 28 October 2009 at 1:09PM

If it were me I would be cautious as I love to be in the garden and would want to welcome any unplanned visitors into it as they arrive if the weather was suitable or I had something to show them. I couldn't do this if the neighbour's washing was out or they were sunbathing etc.

chiefsub69 · 28 October 2009 at 1:23PM

When my parents had a flat similar to this, the lease said they had to allow the neighbours access to the garden to hang out their washing. It specified a day for this! Unless it is in the lease, only do what you feel comfortable with. In my parents' case, new people in the flat upstairs expected to use the garden for leisure and tried to use the driveway to park. We gave them short shrift, not because we were being unfriendly but because we wanted a clearly defined relationship should we fall out at any time. Since my parents' deaths, new people in their flat have allowed the upstairs neighbours to use the drive and have even sold them the rights to half the garden. It's a question of what suits you.