Could my debts effect my relationship

homersimpson_3

why would your answer be different if it was my girlfriend asking?? not all us men are the same, a minority of us are nice and caring lol

i totally agree with you that not all men are the same but disagree that only a minority are nice and caring- i think the vast majority are nice and caring. my advice would have been to her that she needed to protect her interests and ensure the house was solely in her name if she was paying for all of the mortgage and her share of the bills. same points about working together etc- if relationship broke up and house in joint names/tenants in common she may have to sell house. why should she if paying all mortgage and her share of bills and partner not done any repairs etc give him anything? what contribution has he made to house? not all men are good at diy etc and why should they be?

Molanole

For what it's worth, this is my tuppence worth.

Yes, debts can be a problem in a relationship but if you are honest and open at all times then you can both get through it. The biggest stumbling block in my opinion is when one of you is more committed to a debt free lifestyle than the other. I would take care with too much of the financial organisation going to your OH. Having woken up and smelt the tescos own coffee (Carte Noir too expensive) I have somehow become responsible for knowing when every single utility bills goes out of our account, what we need in the bank to cover everything, what our weekly shop budget is and what we will eat during the week right down to how much my OH should be paying off his debts and what "spending" money he has each week. He takes responsibility for nothing which is a direct result of him moving in with me straight from his parents. He's extremely kind and considerate but to be honest, I'm becoming resentful as he shuts down whenever I try to encourage him to take some more responsibility.

Sorry, this is becoming a bit long winded but the moral of the story is, always, always, always be honest with each other. Even if your OH takes responsibility, show an equal interest in how things are going. That way, the debt problem becomes less taboo and thus something which can be dealt with together.

Good luck!

biglad

the last thing i want to do is put all pressure and what not on her, it will be a completly joint thing. The way we would work it is that id prob sort out the bills and stuff but just put in equal amounts and share responsibilities

Im awful at DIY, but thats not too bad, just have to get friends and relatives to do stuff, uncle mechanic and dad electrician