Getting married abroad in term-time.....eek!

BrownBear

Hi everyone, would like any advice on the following please, as I don't have kids and am not too sure about how it works with schools etc!!

We're getting married abroad in May 2011, and decided to pick term time as it is cheaper for everyone to pay out for flights and accomadation etc. My niece(who will be 11 when we get married)is our b/maid and my nephew(will be 14) will be in a suit the same as the men, so they are both in the wedding party. And my SIL is my maid of honour!
My niece will be taking her SATS in May 11 but they don't know when, so we've said when they find out the date, if it clashes with our wedding day, we will change our date, not a problem.
Then my bro says they are going to Florida next year and have to take the kids out of school for a week and that he had lots of problems getting authorisation for it........apparantley they only let you do it once, if you do it again they charge £100 per child, so it will cost him and my SIL an extra £200 to come away with us for our wedding.
I feel bad about this and am considering changing the date to half term so it doesn't cost them more money, but my OH disagrees because the prices obviously will rise in half term week, so it will cost all our guests more to come out to us!! And cost us more too.
Any suggestions? Are schools really funny about this sort of thing?

Thanks!!

sneezyboots

it really depends on the school tbh. some are very strict, some won't mind. the fines also depend on total number of unauthorised absences (you are allowed so many), so you should be fine. you could try just explaining the situation and hoping they authorise it, or just get someone to call in and say they are sick. it depends quite a lot what local authority the school is in too as they all have different policies. i only know about north somerset and somerset and i was under the impression the fine was only £60 not £100, but that may be an authority decision too.

Artytarty

Instead of thinking about how much the fine might be and is it worth it, how about thinking of the moral issue here?
In my opinion (I may well get shot down for having one) it's plain wrong.
Holiday times are for going away, term time is for education. Simples.

BrownBear

Thanks for the replies! Any opinion is welcome and yours is one a few people probably share ArtyTart! I don't think its a 'moral' issue, but I would feel awful if my bro had to pay £200, if that is definitely the case we will probably change it to half term!
Maybe schools are different in different areas then, not sure.....I do understand why they do it and I'm all for it in most circumstances, it just seems a little harsh as its a wedding they're coming out for not just a holiday!!

HRV

At my school (I am a teacher in primary) when parents put in a holiday form our head has them in for a interview to discuss it. If it is exceptional circumstances (I think this would count as it's a special family event that won't be repeated) she would authorise it however she would not authorise a holiday just coz it was cheaper!

With the calling in sick issue our head expects you to bring in proof (eg. doctor prescribed medicine) if illness last more that a couple of days or she will not authorise it anyway- however this is just my school (we are quite strict on it due to the number of our parents who ring in sick for their kids because they can't be bothered to get out of bed hence the hard line on absent pupils)

sneezyboots

as i said before,i would explain the situation to the school as they have a criteria list for what is and isn't allowed (eg a child's parent serving overseas and not around during school holidays will be allowed to holiday during school time). taking children out of school for one week for a wedding will not harm their education (and i'm a teacher). i don't condone general holidays but special circumstances i can understand.

BrownBear

Thanks HRV, very informative! I would never ask them to say they were sick,as you say they would most definitely ask for proof of illness.....That thought didn't even cross my mind tbh!! Plus, we get married on a Thursday, and then its half term the following week so they would only be missing 2/3 days so hopefully they will ok it.....Thanks x

fabforty

BrownBear wrote: »

Thanks HRV, very informative! I would never ask them to say they were sick,as you say they would most definitely ask for proof of illness.....That thought didn't even cross my mind tbh!! Plus, we get married on a Thursday, and then its half term the following week so they would only be missing 2/3 days so hopefully they will ok it.....Thanks x

It might be worth double checking when prices rise. I note that you say you plan to travel a few days before their half term holiday begins. I dn't have kids but my siblings do and apparently travel companies have cottoned on to families travelling shortly before term officially ends - also the fact that school holidays vary by as much as two weeks across the UK- and have started to extend the peak holiday period. In other words, you might find that you will still be paying the same high prices, unless you travel a few weeks earlier, well inside term time.

simpywimpy

I think they would allow the time off for a parents wedding. Im almost sure I read in my own daughters school as a reasonable request for holiday time.

I also wouldnt change the date to half term because the overall cost between you all would far outweight the cost of them taking their child out. I must admit though Ive never heard of a school charging to allow you to do it.....

You are allowed two weeks per year but if they have already had this, again more is at the discretion of the school and a wedding should have a good chance

lisa*_5

We're in a very similar situation. I'm in the process of planning my wedding abroad. I have 3 nephews who I would love to be there and therefore I was trying to arrange it in the school holidays. We did hope to get married next year but my brother and sister have both booked holidays and therefore would perhaps struggle financially so therefore thought about April 2011, during the Easter Holidays. However because we're going to Cuba and because its Americans Spring break and probably because it was school holidays we'd be looking at a huge price hike. Spoke to both my brother and sister and they both said that they have no problem with taking the kids out of school for a week. I don't think I would do it myself however they are both sure that it will be ok. Therefore we've now agree on 9th December 2010 for our wedding. Both my brother and sister will go into the school and explain that its a family wedding and they both seem to think that it will be ok. I don't know if they issue fines in Scotland, I've never heard it been mentioned before.

BrownBear

I'll definitely have a word with my brother about just going into the school and saying its a wedding etc instead of just telling them its a holiday.

Good luck with your wedding btw!!