SOA. Oh My God. How did i get in this Mess

tinatony1

Im amazed too, considering my income has only been anything like this for the past 5 years before that it was much lower, they just kept chucking credit cards at me and stupidly i took them

I am so ashamed of myself

beanielou

Dont be ashamed tina theres no need.
Creditors have a lot to answer for.

gizmo111

tinatony1 wrote: »

Im amazed too, considering my income has only been anything like this for the past 5 years before that it was much lower, they just kept chucking credit cards at me and stupidly i took them

I am so ashamed of myself

Don't be ashamed we've all made decisions in the past, it is tackling the result of those decisions and looking forward that matters now. Feeling bad won't make them go away but a positive attitude will be your best freind over the coming months.

lynzpower

Dont be ashamed Tina, I dont think this is your fault in entirety honestly I dont.

If I were your husband, every day that furniture or other large purchases were bought, Id wonder how I was paying for them.

If you are married he must have known what you earned, he must have seen you handing over the credit card. He knew, he would have seen you use them, been there when you have bought things for the home. Did he never ask? Did he never say "how can we afford this" Did he not see the bills.

I have read your other thread as you know. From reading that, there was no mention of debts. Why do you say being bankrupt will stop you getting back together? the only way not to go bankrupt as I can see it would be, he takes half of the money and you try adn find somewhere to live for free or v cheap and get on with paying it back. If its 25k then it would be possible to pay it back, maybe with help from a DMP.

What do you think the husband thinks about this debt?
((tina))

tinatony1

Hubby knew about the debt to a large extent but as i always paid the bills he never thought there was a problem and for a long time there wasnt, as such, we could make all the payments and stuff so didnt worry

when it started to get a little worse with the credit card companies putting up the intrest rates i just didnt say anything as i tried to tackle it myself, cashing in my savings etc, i guess i was trying to protect him as i felt guilty for letting it get so bad

Mommyme, the gas and electric are both prepayment meters and as it is a rented house i dont think we can change them, they have been here since before we moved in

the only way that i can save money on the rent would be to move back to my dads and then it would definately mean the end of my marriage as hubby would not move there even if my dad would have him (other thread will explain)

Nargleblast

Tina

That is one hell of a lot of plastic you have been carrying! I bet if you cut every card up right now your purse would feel much lighter - and, surprisingly enough, you will feel a sudden weight lift from your shoulders. As far as your debt situation is concerned, your CAB appointment will be the start of tackling it. There are different solutions - debt management plan, IVA, bankruptcy. Whichever one you end up doing, there are people on here who will gladly support you through it, and you will come out of it debtfree eventually. On the way you will need to relearn basic household management and budgeting skills so as not to get into debt again - there are lots of forums on here to help.
As far as your marriage is concerned, only time will tell. I think you need to put him in the picture about your debt situation and your plans for sorting it out - maybe some frank discussion on this matter will do some good in clarifying the situation between you. Fingers crossed!

Toto

Another thought is that if your husband has half of the loan too he might be better to also think of bankruptcy. If you go bankrupt he will be responsible for the full amount and if this is going to be hard for him it could be better for you to do it together. Maybe the shared experience might bring you closer?

I think you should talk to him about all of this and see if you can make a plan of action together. Is he going to the CAB with you?

tinatony1

He is coming to the CAB with me but he really has a big thing against going bankrupt, the thing is have mentioned this to him in the past, he also has some credit cards of his own, but no where near the amount of debt on them i had because his credit rating was not as good as mine

oh how i wish i never had a good credit rating

i think it would be best for us to do the bankruptcy thing together if we have to as at least then it would be a fresh start without debt and even if things do not work out between us at least we would be debt free

and i for one never want to have another credit card in my life

tinatony1

I would still really appreciate some advice if anyone is out there

is it worth me trying to see if some of the debts are unenforceable

dors1

tinatony1 wrote: »

I would still really appreciate some advice if anyone is out there

is it worth me trying to see if some of the debts are unenforceable

Hi tt1 I'm no expert (far from it) but I do think you are doing the right thing by meeting with CAB tomorrow - you will feel better for talking it through with them and they will be better placed to discuss your options. You have been very brave to get this out in the open - don't do anything hasty at the mo; you're probably in shock at the moment but trust me once you start acting on it you will gradually begin to feel more in control. The worst thing I did was not talk to anyone in a professional sense for a long time. It will get sorted x