Part time job with access to pool car

shell_542

What a lovely attitude you have. Your son is very lucky

joanneg_2

Plok...... I was just reading through your post ....how did your ex get a court order stoping you sending your son to pre-school? I find that really sad behaviour as my son loves going ... what a shame for him.

I know its not connected to your main question..... but I was curious.

daska

joanneg wrote: »

Plok...... I was just reading through your post ....how did your ex get a court order stoping you sending your son to pre-school? I find that really sad behaviour as my son loves going ... what a shame for him.

I know its not connected to your main question..... but I was curious.

Sorry, the moment I read what you said about pre-school I had exactly the same question. As background, my care manager from social services actually instructed me to use part of my personal budget for pre-school for my son's benefit because all children need to learn to socialise.

LizzieS_2

I'm currently unemployed as I look after my son daily whilst his mother works
No court would order you not to work – looks like this is more a choice you agreed to with your ex to enable you to see your son more and was based on you not working at that time. There is nothing stopping you working at all.
She knows that my care of my son severely limits by ability to work (and she has a court order stopping me sending my son to pre-school further limiting my ability to work)
As the court would not order you to stay at home all day, it must have been your own choice. You cannot insist on getting daily contact with one parent always being there for your son, then expect it to be ok to change your mind by using pre-school when it suits you to change your care principles.
Sorry it appears harsh – the point I am trying to make is that you seemed to have made one decision at the beginning of the separation and now feel restricted by it. There is nothing stopping you having a job with the same hours as her – you really could do with going back to court for a realistic contact order that enables you both to work and have similar times with your son.

plok

The pre-school issue is slightly off-topic but I'm willing to answer.

My son is entitled to pre-school education and I thought that both myself and his mother thought this to be a good idea. In fact when I got the original shared residence order it was on the basis that I put him into pre-school which would "eat into" my time with my son - the original Court order made this clear. This was a request of his mother and the CAFCASS officer - at the time it seemed that they did not want me to be spending TOO much time with my son. When the time came for him to start his mother rejected my choice of pre-school yet didn't have a pre-school place of her own for my son to attend. As a result she decided to simply take my son and not allow him to see me - kidnapped because he attended pre-school. We went to Court and a pre-condition of continued contact with my son (remember: I have a shared residence order yet still she imposed "conditions") was that he stopped attending pre-school. My team pointed out that this was unfair to my son. The judge however held the view that my son would be just as happy with me as he would be at pre-school and therefore he should remain outside of pre-school.

LizzieS, my only and constant objective is my son's welfare. Pre-school would mean that I see him less but it is in his best interests. My post surrounding this simply pointed out that it seems strange that his mother on the one hand screams and shouts for money that I don't have and yet on the other puts as many obstacles in my way (and I must point out - to my son's very real detriment) with the aim of stopping me earning the money she so clearly craves. Hence my reasonable conclusion that she is mentally disturbed as my son now lacks education and money.

Hope that clears it up.

Loopy_Girl

plok wrote: »

Hence my reasonable conclusion that she is mentally disturbed as my son now lacks education and money.

Well if you beleive that then there is a case of neglect which can't be ignored by you. I'm sure no decent parent would want to think of their child suffering in any way. You should inform Social Services and then make an application for custody yourself.

plok

Loopy Girl, my reply to you got lost in cyberspace! Here is the shortened version.

I try to "contain" my ex as more fighting (and she will see the involvement of SS as fighting) will only harm my son ultimately. I have joint residence which is in my son's best interests, now I want to look at ways of part time working without having the CSA jump on me just because part of my job may allow me to drive an expensive car.

P.S. I've read a few of the other threads on here and time and time again PWC's state "..I know NRP lies about his income as he drives a nice car..." hence my initial concern over the use of a pool car.

Loopy_Girl

Thanks for comment. You clearly know your son and ex better than I do but it was just the mentally disturbed bit that got to me.

Personally I would rather pour acid in my eyes than leave my child with anyone who I considered mentally disturbed, but as I say, you know her better than I do.

With regards to other threads, that is from NRP's who claim they don't have a pot to pi$$ in but then are seen swanning around in the latest Audi or whatever. The pool car isn't yours. You are not the registered keeper and so, as has already been said, there would be no liability with that in the CSA only possibly to the HMRC.

plok

We are way off topic now but....

As the mentally normal parent I have to consider my son's welfare. Not seeing his mum will cause him pain and distress - fact.

Me withholding contact with his mother because of an undefined future risk to his welfare may be a risk but we risk our children everyday when we put them in a car.

Fact - nearly four thousand people die on the roads every year. Would you say "I'd rather pour acid in my eyes than allow my child in a car"? No, you wouldn't. Yet when we talk about our children most of us address our fears (reasonable or not) rather than our children's welfare.

My son was stopped from seeing me for nearly 18 months by his mother because she was angry with me. Contact only resumed after I spent the money earmarked for my son (which I had offered to her and she ignored my offer) on solicitors and barristers. Now I have my son asking me Why did you run away from me?". Her actions caused him harm and in my view a parent that causes harm to their child is mentally disturbed. It doesn't follow that I have to cause my son more harm by restricting his access to her.

Back on topic...

Thanks for your views on the pool car - from what you and others say it looks like I should be in the clear over that.

daska

I'm surprised CAFCASS agreed to advise the court that pre-school was no longer advantageous to him. What a bizarre situation. Will she force you to home-educate him as well?