7 year old boy, cant get to sleep - any ideas?

squibbs25

Hi guys,
posting on behalf of my sister and BIL, they has a 7 year old son who finds it difficult to fall asleep at bedtime.
He has been like this since a baby but dr + hv said he would grow out of it, but he hasnt.
Problem is he goes to bed about 7.30 but doesnt fall asleep til at least 9 sometimes even 10pm. (he's even been known to still be awake at 11 on occassions)
Understandably my sister and BIL are very concerned about this. They have tried many different things but nothing seems to help.
She has tried bedtime later (8pm), this didnt work
Let him read for 30 mins - still didnt work.
Given him bath or shower from school rather than before bed - again didnt work.
There is nothing in his room that would/could distract or keep him awake.
He just lays there wide awake.
He may get up on the odd occassion for a drink of water but doesn't make a fuss, just goes straight back to bed.
And yes when morning comes hes a grump!
He's even getting fustrated with himself because he cant sleep.
He's had night terrors, but these seem to be calming down again at the moment, but she (my sister) don't know what is triggering them.
Most of the time hes a happy go lucky little chappie, very bright, doing very well in school, and hes not a naughty child.
Other than starting him on a herbal remedy (which she's very reluctant at) has anyone got any ideas or have/are going through the same sort of thing.

Many thanks,
Squibbs

ps Sorry its a long one

Miss_Cinnabon

Hi my 6 year from birth was never a good sleeper but grew out of it by the time he was 4, but even now my 2 boys will go to bed at 7, they have a routine of having snack, read for 5 mins then sleep, although most nights they don't settle to sleep until after 8-9pm!

Could he be worried of having the night terrors at night? he maybe doesn't want to go to sleep because of these and is his diet healthy as junk/sugary foods can have an effect on behaviour.

What is his routine like, he needs a routine at this age, it sounds as though they are trying all these things but not actually sticking to it, 30 mins reading is too long, i would say 5-10 mins then lights out.

Is he stressed at all ie school/home life as this can have an effect.

Does he sleep all night?

Is he wound up at bedtime at all as kids need to have a wind down period before sleep.

Let me know how he gets on.

Thanks

comping_cat

I wouldnt worry, my son is exactly the same, and he is now 9. The HV said to me you cannot make someone goto sleep if they dont want to, although you can control their behaviour. I would suggest, that if their son is already going to bed and behaving, i would leave him to it, and maybe take some of the pressure of sleeping away from him. I know myself, that when im tierd and cant sleep, worrying about not sleeping makes it harder for me to sleep!!!!

Broken_hearted

Warm milk?
Has she looked at the toys he has in his room and the programmes he watches incase something is triggering the sleepless nights.

Lillibet_2

Why is the HV involved at age 7? Does he say he is/seem tired when he goes to bed at 7.30 or is he just not tired until much later in the evening? If he is not tired at bedtime then putting him to bed isn't going to help, no matter how tired he is during the day. Some people are night owls and that's when they are awake. If he isn't tired until much later, I would try putting him to bed much later and once he is in a later routine bring bedtime forward by 15 mins each fortnight until you reach a compromise time.

That said, quite honestly, it sounds like insomnia, which quite simply isn't always curable. However, having suffered from it myself, I would be at the doctors pronto for a diagnosis.

squibbs25

sorry to have been so vague in my original post!
The hv is not involved now, was when he was about 3! (sorry for confusion)

Routine wise,
dinner is on the table for about 5 - 5.30 ish.
bath time is 7pm then drink + biscuit or piece of fruit.
bedtime at 7.30

he is able to play, watch tv, read. Just the same normal things that kids do!
(Hes not allowed to play out in the street - but they have a large garden!)

i also thought that reading is for too long (my ds of 8 reads for 15 -20 mins in bed. light out at 7.45pm (but i dont have a problem with him!!!! )

No stress at home, brought up in a loving stable environment (with both mum and dad and little sister of 4)

Once he is asleep - he's asleep.
Dont wake for nothing.
Also hard to wake in the morning for school.
She tried later bedtime but he wasnt sleeping til 10.30 ish. No matter what time he goes to bed, he dont manage to fall asleep for a good 1.5 hours after.

Both his mum and dad have sat down with him to see if he has a problem at school,and he has plenty of friends.
Nothing to worry about on that score. He likes school.

So they feel like they are running out of ideas.

A friend of my sister suggested a herbal remedy, but as i mentioned before, shes reluctant to go down that road.

Thanks for replies so far :-)

chugalug

You'll probably find that he's a night owl when he gets older - stays awake half the night and then can't get up in the morning.

He might not need as much sleep as the 'average' - if someone can't get to sleep then you can't force them.

With mine, they always walked home from school (half an hour for 2 miles) had tea, limited telly but my daughter would stay awake until at least 10 (in bed obviously) but my son would be asleep by 8. In the morning guess who couldnt get up? Now they're older (18 and 19) they're still the same. One is early to bed, early to rise but not the other.

Children are different same as adults. As long as he's not unhappy and gets plenty of exercise and rest there isnt really a problem. Perhaps if he keeps being told there must be a problem he'll find one!

TIGs

Horlicks???

I never thought it worked thought it was just a con to get you to buy it but i tried it last year when i was having problems getting to sleep on a night and it worked. A cup an hour before i go to bed and it works a treat.

My only problem is i then need to get up at 3am for a wee.

As for the getting stressed out cos he can't sleep thats how i use to get too i use to try too hard to sleep worrrying i would be tired next morning and the harder i tried the later it was i got to sleep.

My son use to have problems getting to sleep on a night and it turned out he was worried we were going to flood. He'd seen the films on telly about global warming and it had scared him. We talked about it and i try not to let him watch things about it anymore and we've had no problems since.

elaine373

My friend had this problem and bought a fish lava lamp,he watched the fish swim around until he fell asleep. Has it on every night.maybe worth a try??

Poppy9

I'm a night owl and frequently have difficutly getting to sleep no matter how tired I feel. I would also sell my soul in the morning to lie in bed.

I remember as a child lying in bed reading a book by torch light under the quilt because I was supposed to be asleep.:p

I find that a walk along along the sea front helps. For some reason the sea air makes most people sleepy. Also good is a swim (not in the sea necessarily). Too much stimulation keeps me awake. Reading in bed is a big no no. I could keep reading till 3am and then lie awake for another hour thinking about the story. I also don't watch telly in bed as again that would stimulate me into thinking about the programme when trying to sleep and the flashing lights are distracting.

I do find it relaxing to listen to the radio though much to my OH annoyance. Talksport after 10pm with James Whale is my favourite.

Your sister could try cutting out all stimuli from about 7pm onwards. i.e. no telly and no reading. She could try just listening to music or letting him play with a favourite game or toy before bed to see if that helps.

Careful_girl

Having no children of my own but having done years of nannying, babysitting and teaching my suggestions are:
Check his diet -all the normal advice
Tire him out with lots of fresh air and fun
Tell him how tired he is it sounds wierd but I think the psycology works but in a positive way so he looks forward to having a lovely long sleep.
Get the wind down routine to a fine art with warm drinks and baths if he keeps calm like that and reading a story whilst he lies down and the adult sitting close. Books without pictures mean there are no chances to jump about wanting to see, just using his imagination.
Make sure he is comfy, as dark as possible in these light nights; not too hot or cold with some ventilation.
Then l always leave promising to pop up and see the child very soon. I think that gives them reassurance and if they are awake not to make a big thing. Children become anxious when we are anxious. If he sees it as OK and not a worry he may settle easier. However do not tell him when the return visit will be so he doesn't clock watch.
I think it is a fine art with some children but rather than worry just make it a lovely end to the day.
Tricks of the trade-hope to use them on my own one day!!
Good luck and good sleeping!:A