Worried-brother's Capital One debt

Phillsis81

Hi cakey
Thanks for your post, it is hard when it's family and I was prepared to never see the money again, but he seems to not be speaking to me at all, so I think he is going to end up defaulting. I am going to try to phone him tomorrow and also email him about the importance of negotiating a weekly payment to the company if he is going to default or he will end up being taken to court.

I think you are right that if I pay off a couple of hundred he will then max the card out again and be in the same position. If he was open to accepting my help there is so much he could do differently-he smokes a bit, buys posh coffee and lunch every day at work instead of planning and taking in his own lunch etc etc.
Oh well, I will keep you posted. I feel a bit sad about the situation, and of course can't speak to the rest of the family about it, so I appreciate your support.
Phillsis x

cakey

chin up!! i think he may be a littel embarrassed about his situation and until he learns how to be humble he may continue with the silent treatment. How old is he?

i think it is a very honerable thing you are doing, look at it this way, you have put to him an offer for help.. now just leave it. let him come to you when he is ready, if you keep pushing him for an answer to you offer it may push him further away. He needs to come to you when he is ready. He knows the help is there, so if he gets in trouble he knows he can come to you, but the ball is in his court. i know with me when my dad offered to give me £1000 when my OH got made redundent to help us out, my first reaction was to say no. i avoided speaking ot him for a little while as i knew he would keep trying to give me the money and i didnt want to take it. after a few weeks, when i had sat down and thought about it, i came to the right decision myself, when i was ready to accept help. im sure it will work out! keep us updated!

cobnobbler

Seems you've done your best. You can lead a horse to water...