sorry i jdut need to off load, not money issue

kickingkay

im sitting here sobbing, ive had another row with the neighbours!
i have a dog that has separation issue's and cant bare to be left alone while im at work ive cut down my hours so i can be with him through out the day, but its just not enouhg it really upsets me because someone else is dictating how i live my life, we got him from the rescue centre in january, the dog we already had , is very old and the vet recommended we got him a playfriend and it would make it easier for me to cope when our dog's time is up, we have had barney for nearly 14 yrs now so we wanted to make his last year-years happy asa he was starting to become depressed
anyway the dogs trust recommended zac to us a lively childfriendly! lab cross he has plenty of energy and loves to play we give him so much love and time , and have already spent a malll fortune on re training him,
anyway she has come round to tell me they are sick of it now, and wanted to tell us what we are doing isnt working and what else are we going to do they are keeping a diary and therefore will be going to get a noise order against us which has made me so angry and upset as i havent stopped trying we have tried sonar colloars for him and the house he has a cage to sleep in the day so he doesnt get stressed he has toy gallor! ive tried to muzzel him it doesnt work he gets it off in seconds! i just dont know what else to do im tired and stressed and i really do appreciate it upsets them thats why we arespending so much time and money on him! i dont want to lose him he is part of our family now and it wouldnt be fair on him to have to be rehomed again he is booked in to see a behavioural specialst for training sessions but it a busy course so we have had to wait for a place he starts there in 2 weeks 8 week wait!, and all she can say is its not good enough , i cant help that he works from home to animal lovers this might make sense to those that are not i can see your point too, i just needed to off load as its ages before hubby comes home and im so upset
thanks if you got this far
klare:mad:

tanith

klare sorry if this is blunt but I really think that the stress this is causing to you, partner neighbours and of course both dogs is just not worth it... there doesn't seem to of been much improvement so far and it might turn out that there never will be... what would you do then? You have done your best to make it work but I think the the time has come to say this poor dog is not for you.......

Not what you want to hear I am sure but as you say your neighbours have a point.....

jesster_2

Ooh this is a tricky one. I really feel for you, because I'm a pet type person myself. But I have also lived with a noisy neighbour (a person rather than a dog) and it IS horrible.

Do the people at the rescue centre have any advice or help they can give? Also, someone I know who has a dog drops it off with an at-home friend friend "dog-minder" during the day. She pays them a little bit, but figured it was worth it rather than losing hours at work. I'm assuming you've tried all the usual things like leaving a radio on low level so there are voices for him?

I do completely understand how upsetting it is for you, but can really see where your neighbours are coming from. They have a right to peace and quiet in their home during the day as well as at night. Do try to keep a dialogue with your neighbours as if relations sour it only gets more stressful. You could try contacting your council's noise people yourself, as they have dealt with a million situations like this and may have some constructive advice?

lynzpower

Jesster said it for me, really.

I would definately a) keep a reconrd of all the things youve done for him, to try to make him calmer, ie pet visits, collars etc, and find record of what its cost.
2) speak to your local noise team & explain the situiation. You dont want to upset your neighbours any more so what can they suggest in these circumstances. Then it might be you know the noise officer that evenutually knocks on, nad that should help

Stevenj214

kickingkay wrote:

he is booked in to see a behavioural specialst for training sessions but it a busy course so we have had to wait for a place he starts there in 2 weeks 8 week wait!, and all she can say is its not good enough ,

On this point - it's not upto your neighbour to dictate what is good enough and what isn't.

At least try the new training course, if there's no improvement after that then it might be worth admitting defeat and letting him go back to the kennels.

You should write a letter explaining this and send a copy to both your neighbour and the relevant council department. This shows that you are aware of the problem and you are taking reasonable steps towards hopefully resolving it.

The council should see this as an appropriate and reasonable course of action for now, and any other complaints from your neighbour would be ignored until it is shown that the steps you are taking are not working.


Some other advice I found on google:

"Get your dog used to the idea that you are away for different periods of time at different times of the day. That way he might not be so concerned each time you leave and do not make a fuss of him as you leave. Try putting your dog on his own in another room (at first for a few minutes), then gradually build up the time you leave your dog alone. Do not return to your dog until he is quiet for a period. When you return, praise him. Some dogs will bark because they want to join in what is happening outside. If this is the problem, try leaving your dog so that he cannot see outside. Some dogs will only settle if they hear a human voice, so try leaving a radio tuned to a talk station at low volume ( not too loud otherwise it might disturb the neighbours)."

kickingkay

thanks i really wasnt expecting replies so i am grateful,
i do leave the tv on for him and the curtains are closed so he cant see out we have tried leaving him shut in a room on his own for periods of time and on some occasions he doesnt bat an eyelid on others though he does
i just feel so terrible i feel like im letting him down he is a rescue dog and needs a loving home i know if it doesnt work at obediance i am going to have to give him up which jsut reduces me to tears at the thought of it, im so angry that they are dictating what animals i can or cant have their cat comes and craps in my garden i dont complain i just clean it up lol they he works form home thats his choice not mine i dont know what he does he could be a band member for all i know i know it sound ssilly but when barney goes it will break my heart (14yrs old) zac and he really love each other they get on so well i just think it will stress him and zac out, im going to go and buy another collar which squirts citron in the faces everytime they bark, apparently they work just like the other parofanalia ive bought does NOT but i have to be seen as being pro active thanks
klare x

lush_walrus

Ok, sorry if this is harsh, but noisy dogs DO drive people to distraction. I know that for you this is your pet, but for your neighbours who have been listening to the dog bark since January, this could well be torture, and they could well feel that you arent doing enough. Although you are clearly trying, for your neighbours nothing is changing. If they have not done anything with environmental health already, after what 5 or 6 months then they have in their mind given you a chance to change things to no avail. The fact that they have said its not good enough is a sign of their frustration, after all from their side it isnt good enough, the dog is still barking.

The fact that you yourself can see the problem and have been trying to change the behavour is admirable, but perhaps the dog does just have to go, as someone else has said not only for your neighbour but for you too. I'm sure the whole process is awful for you too, as all of this effort and you are getting nowhere. If the dog doesnt respond then what more can you do. From what I can see you have tried as hard as possible, give it one last try, then perhaps consider giving the dog up.

Try not to fall out with your neighbours over this, if you step back they do have a point.

jesster_2

I really do agree with lush walrus.

Your neighbour has every right to work from home, and not to have to put up with your dog's barking. That's just a fact that's not negotiable.

What is positive is that you are talking to them, and that they are talking to you, rather than just going straight to the council. You wouldn't like it if the first you'd heard of the complaint was a letter from them.

Like I say, I completely understand how you feel about the dog, you're trying to do your best for him. But you also owe it to your neighbours not to make their lives miserable, and arguably they were there first, not the dog!

You do have time to try to sort something out with the dog, and it's good that you're doing that and that you're keeping your neighbours in the picture, but you have to be realistic about what's ultimately right and wrong.

Please don't underestimate how frustrating it can be for your neighbours. I had to live with noisy neighbours for only a few weeks and I seriously began to feel like I was going insane.

The other thing to remember, and I don't mean this to sound harsh, is that you're trying to do your best for this dog because he didn't have a very nice life beforehand. But his behaviour should be telling you something. If he's barking and creating havoc when you're out, it's because he's not at peace. He might be better off with a family who are at home all day. I know this sounds harsh, but I've had to let animals go to new homes before because I couldn't look after them in exactly the way they needed to thrive. It is horrible to have to do, but it is in their best interests in the end.

Apple_2

I understand both sides well.

My mum's dog who is 13 has never been easy. Mum's retired so is home a lot but still needs to go out as everyone does. The dog is very clingy and lonely and HOWLS when she's left. The dog just hates being left alone. The howling can go on 5 minutes or an hour. There's no knowing.

Mum's always said she's grateful the neighbour's don't complain. I think they feel sorry for her, she's old plus she can be nasty. But it would break mum's heart if there was any possibility the dog had to go - she'd prefer to go to jail I think. But even though she's a nutty old bat, she's aware of the nuisance the howling causes and appreciates that nobody has complained so far.

In_Search_Of_Me

Big hugaroo!! This is a really hard one and one I have experienced with a cat I had once. She just could NOT get on with my othercats & everyones life was miserable. In the end I concluded that noone, including her, were happy & that she needed a home with no other cats and no children. It sounds like your dog has severe separation anxiety & may be better placed with a family where one personl is home all the time? I know from my own experiences that this is a very difficult deicsion to make as you do feel that you're letting them down but I realised in the end that if I kept Milly she would be unhappy & deserved better than that & it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make as my cats are my substitute babies (whish some people just dont get!!). I took her back & she was happily rehomed about 3 weeks later. Yes howling is hard & can drive people to distraction & I can see both sides of the coin...ultimatly you need to decide what is best...on a personal note I do wish that rehoming centres would provide support for people who are taking on difficult, traumatised animals as its just not faor on you, the dog or the neighbors! Hope you manage to resolve this OK...big hug from me for you & the hound!! Let us know how you get on!

kickingkay

big thanks to everyone who replied
i have stopped crying i have contacted the council who have managed to finally get hold of a collar which i can collect tomorrow i have also spoken to a behavoural specialist, who has given me lots of advise i have booked her to visit next week, she feels she will be able to get him to stop barking he doesnt howl apparently dogs have over 30 different barking noises for each mood! i know she wasnt just saying it so im hoping that it will work, i know this collar wont make any difference but it can only show how hard im trying, dogs become anxious because they depend on human for company which is what he has done from being abandoned i will do what ever i can to stop him from feeling anxious he will always be like this where ever he is rehomed the minute they go out with out him, i only work 5 hours a day 4 days a week and that is broken upi in to 3 hours then hour at home 2 more hours back at work then in the holidays im home allday so he isnt left for long periods alone he just doesnt know how to cope in his own skin, it was explained to me ages ago they become so reliant ont on their owners and need to protect them that when they are left alone they panic, they just have to relise they are pets and i dont need him to look after me its the other way around lol
i know im not putting ff the inevitable of getting rid of him i know that if we can crack the problems he will be so much more happier and everyone else will be
i just have so much to cope with as it is with my creditors, i dont need added extra worrie's ive had to cut right back and dip into the emergancy fund to pay for all this as it is!
again a big thankyou for everyones advise i really do appreciate it, the problem is as neighbours we dont like each other anyway so it makes it harder iykwim
klare xx