Obliged to continue working so hard???

Darnit_2

Thanks confused, I tried to get to see my boss today, but to no avail, but I shall be making him have it tomorrow! I have read the policy and know my rights, so I am sure I have the advantage there. They won't be pleased, but will get used to it. I have worked out what I am asking for and how much I will lose, but half of it or more would have gone to creditors anyway. Told my best friend today about my part time plans, and she has just found out she is losing her job, so we will do more stuff together. Really haven't been proactive in our relationship these last few years, and if she hadn't made the effort, we would have lost touch by now, so I am looking forward to making it up to her.
Had a good chat with a trusted colleague at work today and he was the first person I have told the truth to about the BR, who actually doesn't need to know. He was great, and very supportive. So a problem shared is a problem halved......it all helps.

dollparts

Darnit wrote: »

Thanks a bunch tigerfeet et al.

I spoiled my weekend worrying about work, and today just decided that I am going part time, and re-build my life and my health and fitness. Life is too short. I have so enjoyed thinking about all the things I want to do (that don't cost the earth). I have worked out that before the OR has time to impose an IPA, I just have time to catch up with a few things,squirrel some away and pay for a frugal christmas ready for a drop in income.

I am almost a little excited now, I am going to get fit, learn a language, claw money back for little extras doing car boot sales with stuff I used to give away, and grow some veg and make jam and chutney .

How odd am I?

More ideal than odd I would say.

It seems to me that I too, will be taking extended leave from my business. I have had to scale down significantly over the past 12 months due to health and it seems I will have to give up work for at least three months after the op I am due to have at some point in th near future.

I have come to a point in my life where I need to take care of my health and take back some control instead of the daily grind of the superwoman imitation. Mum has said she will buy me a dog once I have recovered and I will be able to walk her for a few hours a day, bake my own bread and not ignore my health issues or at best grit my teeth and think of the bigger picture.

I need to do this before the choice is not mine to make and I end up keeling over.

I say good luck to you. Life is no dress rehearsal.

Darnit_2

Thanks Dollparts, it seems I found a lot of people realising that to "have it all" seems to sometimes equate to, "have nothing you really value....".

The dog is a lovely idea, (have toyed with that one myself, but would still have to leave it for periods of time for work, so not sure) and also, don't want to pick up dog doo doos! If you can stomach that, then it is definitely a good therapy, physically and mentally.

I used to bake bread (with my breadmaker) I used to set the timer for it to turn on during the night, and the bread would be ready when we got up. I would also set the coffee maker. House smells fabulous! Lovely way to wake up on a cold winters morning. They say the best things in life are free, well, cheap! Just image if I had my own jam to go on it!

Darnit_2

Alistair, and Philnicandamy, thanks for your kind words, I was expecting someone to tell me to get to work and pay my debts!
Although I would also know that anyone saying that really wouldn't understand my circumstances. You know, I am in middle management, and the more I look at the ambitious bosses above me, the less appealing any further progression is, even though I could do it better when things improve for me. I really don't want to become like them? I definitely want to make jam and spend more time with my own lovely children, who make me laugh every single day.:D

philnicandamy

I really do understand....I worked at senior management in the NHS and if i'd have not had the health probs I had i'd have worked myself into an early grave.......the main thing is health/family and you! I was certainly happy were I was in the job didnt want to do anything else...but to be honest? best thing I did hours cut and eventually leave....now health is better (sure I still have my off days) but life is good.....and i'm looking forward to the birth of my first son/daughter

usually the comment "pay your debts" etc etc is by someone who has NO idea of how your life is progressing....they dont have a clue thats for sure & if they were made to live our lives for a week or two i'd guarantee they would soon change their views

dollparts

A little story. Before I started my own business I used to work in the City of London.

I used to exist working 15 hour days, liquid lunches and rubbing shoulders with execs from all the major players in banking and finance.

I was on the highway to burn out. I loved it, don't get me wrong. But I was a different person back then. One the right side of 25, teetering around the place with heels that would make Victoria Beckham's eyes water.

My OH is a broker dealer, he knows that he too, will burn out and has made an elaborate plan to exit before he is 35. He wants the good life but knows that he also needs to be in a fit state to enjoy it as well as build the foundations.

I'll be waiting for that day with open arms, he can go fishing, I can make my home made cleaning potions and we will have something new to fight over.......Brown bread today darling or the white?:D

Tell you what, I'll start saving the jam jars and will have a go too!

Darnit_2

I've changed my mind, can I join you for the first bit! Liquid lunches :drool::beer:

Only joking, I am rubbish at drinking, perhaps I need more practice?;) Well only if it is home made sherry trifle.....

Angiepange

Hi Darnit

I couldnt agree more with peoples views on here and I really hope you can sort out a change in hours in your job and start to regain a balance in your life.

I just need to think back to end of last year when both my DH and I were in stressful, physically tiring long hour jobs. A treadmill we couldnt get off, trying to achieve maximum income to service debts, mortgage and everything else. His redundancy, although at the time was devastating, when I look back now it was a blessing in disguise. My DH now works a 40 hour week (he calls that part time!!) in a job he is really enjoying compared to the 80hr week he worked before. He is always home at a decent time, we all have meals together as a family and when he knocks off on a Friday the job is forgotten about till the Mon morning. His stress levels are virtually zero compared to what he used to be like.

Me, well a complete change for the better, illlness caused my loss of job, again at the time I could hardly function and its taken a long time to get out of the mentality I had re my work. I would leave sometimes as the kids were getting up for school 6.30 in the morning and eventually get home by 6/7 in the evening after a day on my feet all day, probably had 2 or 3 10min breaks in total. Stressed like you wouldnt believe, not a high powered job like some here but working for a boss who pushed me to the limit and muggins here could never say 'no'!! I always put my job first before anything and although I now have 2 very independent teenagers who have had to do alot for themselves cos we were always at work I can now spend alot more time with them and my DH and it is amazing how good that makes me feel.

Now I am at college learning new skills, I have an interview on Thurs at my local CAB to volunteer in their admin dept which ties in with the course I am doing and although I have found going BR very tough emotionally I can see its done us the world of good as my health had really started to suffer as a consequence of my job.

So good on you for making a change and wishing you all the best for the future.

Angie x

Darnit_2

Thanks Angie, I have the appointment diaried in to discuss my hours. I can feel the tension now! Bring it on! However, I am steel on this subject, just found out one of my staff died suddenly today, only in his twenties. Brings it home doesn't it? Hate to use the word "journey" (as I am not on X factor- they all have journeys), but I have learnt so much this last few weeks about myself, and it isn't all bad!

property.advert

dollparts wrote: »

A little story. Before I started my own business I used to work in the City of London.

I used to exist working 15 hour days, liquid lunches and rubbing shoulders with execs from all the major players in banking and finance.

I was on the highway to burn out. I loved it, don't get me wrong. But I was a different person back then. One the right side of 25, teetering around the place with heels that would make Victoria Beckham's eyes water.

My OH is a broker dealer, he knows that he too, will burn out and has made an elaborate plan to exit before he is 35. He wants the good life but knows that he also needs to be in a fit state to enjoy it as well as build the foundations.

I'll be waiting for that day with open arms, he can go fishing, I can make my home made cleaning potions and we will have something new to fight over.......Brown bread today darling or the white?:D

Tell you what, I'll start saving the jam jars and will have a go too!

Yeah, I relate to that. I to got wrapped up in the money, power and sheer adrenalin of it all. Been out a while and have debts to sort through but I hope I can have a couple or a few years back in there, but on my terms this time.