Worried about my four year old....

domestic_goddess

I am a bit worried about my DS who started full time school last month, he will be five in March.

He is showing no interest in reading or writing and I am struggling to teach him even to write his name.... I think it might just seem worse as mt DD who is now seven was wanting to read and write from the age of three. Even now she is never without a notebook and pen and writes lovely stories and will do sums herself when she wakes up in the morning!

I hear all my friends say their kids are doing a lot better and I just wondered if I should go and have a word with his teacher or if I am just being a bit paranoid.

mumslave

If you are worried, speak to the teacher, but try not to compare your ds with other kids, I bet in other areas he is very interested and bright. My eldest is four and half, five in april. She can write her name...if i write it first and she can copy it underneath. Other than that, thats it. She isnt really interested and I am not really interested in making her be interested lol. The minute pressure is added to a kid, the quicker i think they are to want to do anything but what you want them to do. The only difference is that i am in scotland so my daughter doesnt start school till august next year. Just remember, he wont be like it forever...they spend a LOT of years at school, he will get there in the end. Be patient, keep trying but dont worry if he doesnt want to know. I sound a bit patronising probably, sorry, its just there is a lot of kids in my family, not just my own three and they all got there at different times too.

aliasojo

Ok, first thing to point out is that girls are usually ahead of the game when it comes to reading and writing compared to boys so try not to compare your daughter and son...it's like carrots and peas.

He's only 4 and a half or thereabouts and it's far too early to be getting worried. By all means have a word with his teacher, I'm sure he or she will tell you the same thing, 'not to worry'.

I suspect he will be one of those kids who shows little interest at the start but all of a sudden things 'click' and he'll just get on with it one day.

Encourage him to use pencils and to colour in etc but dont put pressure on him to try to learn to write his name, he's just not quite ready yet.

CRANKY40

I was like your daughter and could read at 3 1/2. My lovely son who is 5 next month can't sit still even when he is being good, and although he will type his name on the computer, is extremely reluctant to have to make the effort to actually write it.

My son is as bright as a button, and never stops talking, sometimes with deadly accurate observations, so there's nothing wrong with his thought processes.

skintchick

Boys are slower than girls, and in many countries formal education doesn;t begin until they are 7 - personally I wouldn;t worry. Have a chat with the teeacher maybe but don;t sweat it yet, I'm sure he wil soon be able to do it.

My mate's 4yo (now 5) drew me a picture and it was basically a circle with dots in, not very advanced at all, and I don;t think he can write his name either, so I'd guess it's quite normal for boys.

domestic_goddess

Thanks for putting my mind at rest.... I have always encouraged him to draw pictures whenever DD is doing her homework but this week he has been given a homework book of his own and the things we had to do were:

Play Eye Spy.

Draw around your hand and number each finger.

Draw and label your family.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

These things seem a bit beyond him although we have had a good go, I think it is more my work than his.

I think I will just let him learn at his own pace and not stress over it.

tandraig

I cant get over the homework your son was given
Play Eye Spy.

Draw around your hand and number each finger.

Draw and label your family

eye spy - yeah great fun with someone who cannot read write or spell
draw around your hand - fine they can do that - number each finger? have they been taught that?
draw and label your family - this one is the one i cant believe - he is supposed to draw all members of his family and label them? hmmmmmmmmmm inform his teacher you dont label people - its not politically correct! seriously i wouldnt expect my five or six year old grandkids to do that! and DS is only four!!! school is expecting a lot there! boys do tend to have less interest in reading and writing than girls - but i am still gobsmacked by task 3! wouldnt even expect my very bright granddaughters to do that at age 5 and 6 or are our welsh schools behind somehow (tho our Gcse results seem to be very good)

daska

He doesn't want to learn to read yet? so what?! I bet he's great at something else Kids will often set their own targets and work single-mindedly on the goal they have set themselves, then they move on to the next thing. Yes some have problems, but that's one of the things his teachers are trained to observe.

Here's my real life example of why you can't compare: 2 year check: DS1 has vocab of 200 words but can't achieve physical tasks such as picking up, stacking etc. DS2 has a handful of words (come, no, byee - no labels) but can climb to the top of an 8' climbing frame with a lorry under one arm and stack a dozen or more small bricks in a tower. Both have fabulous memories, both very bright, both fly through hearing tests etc. Both 'normal'. So which, if either, has a problem?

Becles

Reading doesn't just come from books so try other material. I know they're expensive but comics or magazines from his favourite TV programmes might help or let him look at websites with his favourite characters on. Some sites have word based games on that might help.

Play games with other things, like if he has Weetabix for breakfast ask him if he can spot a letter W on the packet. You can do this with other packets, road signs, shop names etc. Once he knows the letters, look for phonic sounds like oo ee ea etc., and then build up into words. It'll not be formal lessons and he'll just treat the game as a bit of fun, but it's surprising how much will sink in.

yummymummy79

To echo what others have said; my little man is 5 and has just started Year 1. When he was in Reception last year, we got to look at his writing/work books during one Parent's Evening and I must admit I was a bit disappointed with his apparent lack of progress over the few months that the books covered.

Fast forward to now, and we spent nearly an hour today doing some maths/english workbooks (at his request) and I can't believe how well he did! Would definitely agree that they just 'get it' and come on leaps and bounds. I wouldn't worry yourself too much about it, but maybe just have a word with the teacher at Parent's evening etc and check that they feel he is getting on OK.

Savvy_Sue

I heard something on the radio the other day which just cracked me up. A science teacher had spent some time in Australia, where they don't start teaching formal reading and writing until later than we do. He'd had his family with them, and was concerned about this later start, but then chatted to an Australian teacher, whose explanation was that children had to master the gross motor skills first. When asked to explain, he said:

"If a boy can't hold a cricket bat right, what hope has he got with a glorified chopstick in his hand?"

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

If it's any consolation, DS1 was a roughly 'normal' reader. DS2 taught himself from the cereal packets before starting school, he was that desperate to learn and felt that anything DS1 could read, he could read too. DS3 just couldn't see the point of exerting himself, TV was MUCH better. He's still of that opinion, but it's not stopping him applying to Oxford Uni ...