Trying to help someone who maybe doesnt want to be helped.

Xbigman

I've tried to talk to people I know in the past and have gotten all carried away advising them to cut back and give up luxuries. It has backfired on me virtually every time as they generally consolidate and borrow more money and never see the logic of giving up anything. I know they will learn the hard way eventually but I was just getting stressed for nothing. I'm now regarded by some of these people as a weirdo.
I did find that a few people really wanted help and if you talk about bringing your own food to work or how you picked up some cheap shopping then they do listen. Its a start.

I was also in a destructive relationship years ago where she ran up huge phone bills and expected me to pay. I struggled to pay them for years until I left but I now know what I should have done, simply stop paying the bills and get cut off. That cures the whole problem.
Regards



X

System

Thanks for all the suggestions everyone.

Spoke to the GF last night and she said she had suggested it but didn't know if the idea had been taken up. So what we did was to find a few key things that he moaned about, one being the phone and try and find a pain free alternative.

So the major key was the mobiles. Unbelievably, most of that £300 comes from text messeges so we found a reputable, text all you want alternative for £1 a week, ie hottxt so if they take up the pain free alternative that should at a conservative estimate free up £150 a month at a minimum.

GF also said she would show them how to cook better meals at home (she is a WW guru and even I eat the food, so it can't be that bad) This should help remove a lot of the junk food. Again, even if it doesnt save money (it should, McDs for 4 people, twice a day isn't cheap), it gets them a bit healthier too.

Also we decided to also subtly (as much as we can) suggest they look at the entitled to website.

Thats the start anyhow

calleyw

I hope what you do works for them 13000.

The best thing you can do is point them in the right direction and just hope it works.

And then you can say at least I tried.


All the best.


Yours


Calley

GreyPilgrim

be really careful there dude, it's like getting in between a man / woman when they're having a domestic...everyone knows someone who's stepped in when things get a bit physical, and they end up having both parties turn on THEM for interfering!

If he doesn't want to be helped then your help may fall on deaf ears or may be seen as nagging. I'm not saying don't try - you're obviously a friend who cares - but be very very subtle is my advice.