Unemployment Rut, Has It Changed You?

Harrynorthernireland

I've been out of work now 2.5 years, after the company I worked for went bust. I never really liked the job anyway so when I got the boot I was over the moon, Here I had all this time on my hands, and the days actually flew in beleive it or not. That lasted for about 6 months then gradually being unemployed really has changed my personality.

I applied for evey job under the sun, even the benefits agency helped out. With every knock back I found myself falling deeper and deeper into depression and more and more angry and !!!!!! of with life. I mean that just wasn't me, I was always the happy bubbly sort, the life of the party if you like. A year down the line the doctor diagnossed me with Depression and Anxiety and I ended up getting put on incapacity benefit. Just to make matters worse I put on 4 stone weight since I've been out of work.

I was over the moon just in Feb. I got a job.. First week went great, then the problems started, I mean I had never walked out of a job in my life but, one day in particular the boss was being smart, I gave him a row of f**ks and told him to stick his job, That just wasn't me, if anything I was usually to soft, never spoke back to people, just took the sh*t

So here we are, Stuck in a rut and don't have a clue how to get out of it. Unemployment has really changed me, I am so bitter and twisted,negative and depresssed. Has it changed you and how did you get back on track??

ts_aly2000

Hiya, struck a chord this post so must reply

Only you can pull yourself out of this. Just reading about your boss experience atm ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))).

I don't know the answer ((((((hugs))))). I think partly it has to do with having things to do, a good rewarding hobby to pass the time. One thing I still do is to dress smart, polish my shoes, and keep proud.

The most upsetting thing for me, which just stabs me so much, is when you go into these places, shops and alike. The customer service and the way they do their jobs is appaulling. And I can't get a job. I could do their job. I'd be brilliant at it. There's something wrong somewhere. Their sales are dwindling, the staff are awful, and I could turn it around. Why did they get the job.

And the truth. There is something wrong somewhere. The world isn't fair. There's what we're told, and what actually happens in reality. In realising that, and genuinely figuring it out for yourself first-hand it does take the pressure off.

The thing is really believe, and to know, is that it isn't you. It's not because of YOU, who you are why you feel this way. It's because of how the world is. And if you can hold your head high, dress well, keep pride in yourself, then that goes some way to staving off the insanity.

My cure for it all: Start selling things on eBay. I would let you read my feedback but will link me in real life to here, but those comments are genuine, and from real people who are quick to criticise. And I treat them exactly how I would want to be treated, and I'm rewarded in kind for my actions. It's about all that keeps me going sometimes.

We'll get there ((((((((hugs))))))) But only you can 'think'/'analyse' your way out of it. One thing to think about though; when/if the economy collapses and people start losing their houses and jobs, don't you think you're off to a bit of a head start in how to deal with it mentally? Alot of these people will go to the wall. Use it, use it to your advantage. Another thing, I bet a fiver that you can certainly manage your money can't you!? You may be down yes, but there are life skills that you are learning. Most of these 'successful' people are in cloud cuckoo land and haven't the slightest skills necessary to deal with crisis. They're so materialistic that the mere mention of giving up their latest mobile phone is enough to throw them into turmoil.

You have different priorities now. I wish though we didn't, but were just human thank goodness, and not debt guzzling monsters. Alot of these 'successful' people you see out there who you wish you were like, are up to their eyes in debt. And IT WILL eventually bite them on the bum, it has to, and I can't wait to see it happen. I will pity them, I will offer emotional support to them, but I will always remember how they treated me when the tables were turned. How could I forget.

Experiences like these do make you a better kinder warmer and more enlightened person. The bitterness is just a natural phase you're going through. It will pass. And when you get back on your feet (in your eyes) you will have learnt so much from the experience, it will make you better. That job just wasn't the right one for you. Believe in yourself, if the guy was being a pratt than to let rip perhaps was a bit OTT, but we've all done it at some point. Now learn from it and don't do it again!

Aly xx

Harrynorthernireland

ts_aly2000 wrote:

Hiya, struck a chord this post so must reply

Only you can pull yourself out of this. Just reading about your boss experience atm ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))).

I don't know the answer ((((((hugs))))). I think partly it has to do with having things to do, a good rewarding hobby to pass the time. One thing I still do is to dress smart, polish my shoes, and keep proud.

The most upsetting thing for me, which just stabs me so much, is when you go into these places, shops and alike. The customer service and the way they do their jobs is appaulling. And I can't get a job. I could do their job. I'd be brilliant at it. There's something wrong somewhere. Their sales are dwindling, the staff are awful, and I could turn it around. Why did they get the job.

And the truth. There is something wrong somewhere. The world isn't fair. There's what we're told, and what actually happens in reality. In realising that, and genuinely figuring it out for yourself first-hand it does take the pressure off.

The thing is really believe, and to know, is that it isn't you. It's not because of YOU, who you are why you feel this way. It's because of how the world is. And if you can hold your head high, dress well, keep pride in yourself, then that goes some way to staving off the insanity.

My cure for it all: Start selling things on eBay. I would let you read my feedback but will link me in real life to here, but those comments are genuine, and from real people who are quick to criticise. And I treat them exactly how I would want to be treated, and I'm rewarded in kind for my actions. It's about all that keeps me going sometimes.

We'll get there ((((((((hugs))))))) But only you can 'think'/'analyse' your way out of it. One thing to think about though; when/if the economy collapses and people start losing their houses and jobs, don't you think you're off to a bit of a head start in how to deal with it mentally? Alot of these people will go to the wall. Use it, use it to your advantage. Another thing, I bet a fiver that you can certainly manage your money can't you!? You may be down yes, but there are life skills that you are learning. Most of these 'successful' people are in cloud cuckoo land and haven't the slightest skills necessary to deal with crisis. They're so materialistic that the mere mention of giving up their latest mobile phone is enough to throw them into turmoil.

You have different priorities now. I wish though we didn't, but were just human thank goodness, and not debt guzzling monsters. Alot of these 'successful' people you see out there who you wish you were like, are up to their eyes in debt. And IT WILL eventually bite them on the bum, it has to, and I can't wait to see it happen. I will pity them, I will offer emotional support to them, but I will always remember how they treated me when the tables were turned. How could I forget.

Experiences like these do make you a better kinder warmer and more enlightened person. The bitterness is just a natural phase you're going through. It will pass. And when you get back on your feet (in your eyes) you will have learnt so much from the experience, it will make you better. That job just wasn't the right one for you. Believe in yourself, if the guy was being a pratt than to let rip perhaps was a bit OTT, but we've all done it at some point. Now learn from it and don't do it again!

Aly xx

Thanks for that, I know its up to me to do something about it but with every kick in the teeth it just gets harder and harder, being unemployed is so soul destroying.

ts_aly2000

Harrynorthernireland wrote:

I know its up to me to do something about it but with every kick in the teeth it just gets harder and harder, being unemployed is so soul destroying.

I know ((((((((hugs))))))).

Take pride in yourself, dress as smart as can be, live for the moment. The beauty of living in a world with so many people is that there are so many strangers, and they judge on what they see and hear first time round. Just as you have judged me here.

With all of these 'strangers' about, you have as many chances as you need. Go for it!! :A It doesn't matter what you've done or how you felt yesterday, it's what you do now. :j

And I know it's not as easy as it sounds. For me here I'm getting a reward in the hope that I can pass on what I've learnt onto you. Little things. People that try to achieve big things often fail, yet they just don't see it.

I wish I could say everything to make it better.

DonGotti

Best of luck to both of you. I'm in a similar situation (i put up a post on this board yesterday). Everywhere I look I see people who do half-assed work in successful jobs even though they didn't try at all in education and so forth. I really hope things improve for you and me and anyone else in a similar situation.

Nothing is this world lasts forever...not even a rut. Best of luck!

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Harry, depression and anxiety can make people irritable and say and do things out of character. Would it be worth you having a chat with your doctor?