A little cheer?

Darnit_2

Thanks MicheH, my OH does the same 50mph as he travels quite a long way to work, but turning the engine off at the lights is a step too far!

Darnit_2

You are so right Alistairq. But even though I know it, somehow I still cry, doing it now. Such a stupid cow!

alastairq

I still cry, doing it now. Such a stupid cow!

you're NOT in tesco's, using their blootooth, are you?

Darnit_2

Eh? you have lost me.

RichesToRags

Darnit

I was the same as you, had brief moments of relief but would then be washed over with guilt. I wanted to know when the good nights sleep was coming that everyone talked about. Had a good long look at myself and posted on here (very cathartic).

I realised my problem was I felt I had passed on my responsibilities, in this case my financial responsibility to the OR. Having been more or less responsible for myself since age 11 it was a strange feeling, a wrench even. Having realised this I have now kind of come to terms with it, I hope whatever your feelings you can resolve them and feel at least some relief.

On the upside, its my daughters 21st in about 10 mins (waiting up to wish her happy birthday) and her presents are paid for, its been a struggle but at least I don't owe anyone for them!

I have a dissertation to write and actually have the headspace to do it.

I've always been close to and spent alot of time with my kids but I can actually have more fun now, instead of my mind being elsewhere worrying about money and bills I can give them 100% and really enjoy my time with them, worth the BR just for that!

There's some great tips on this site and I'm enjoying challenging myself to get my grocery budget down, to do the sealed pot and to learn new recepes.

Good luck and I hope you are feeling better about it all soon X

Darnit_2

Thanks rags, thought I had seen you a fair bit on DFW board, although I feel a bit of a fraud going over there aswell! I used to look at that bancruptcy board anf think "how awful, I can't imagine it" and here I am living it.

Anyway, on a high note, managed to get two second hand flat screen tele's for the kids, both the same (essential with 2 kids to be seen as fair) to put away for Christmas. Just going to have to be ingenious with the fancy wrapping to make them look new, or make them not care!

Darnit_2

Oh happy birthday 21st to your DD!:beer:

miss_spooky

Hi,

I've just had a quick read and think this thread is great.

Firstly as far as emotions go I felt like it was a big anticlimax. I had the same feelings a few years back after I split from my ex-hub. I was left with all the debt (about £7k so managable) and worked ot, evenings, weekends to clear it off.

I remember walking out of Lloyds bank with my friend after paying the last bit and closing the account & saying "well that's it. What shall we do now? I thought I would be elated because I cleared off all this debt and was now debt free. You sort of think fireworks and sparkly banners (though for going br I doubt you'd want that) but for the relief of not having to struggle and that you've done that. But there was nothing.

I had the same feelings when I came out of court - and even took my first creditor call 10 mins after.

I think that the reality takes a while to set in. I've been br 2 mths now and I still can't get used to no post & a quite phone. (Watch I'll have loads tom now)! lol.

Darnit, You probably also feel like you've failed. I did, I felt guilty for not paying back my debts, but also know if circumstances had been different then I may have been able to have a good go.

Don't feel a failure as you have tried to do it the "right way" and it didn't work. If it break you fix it.

You will get over it in time. Time & tea that's all you need!

I'm now enjoying brunch with the girls at the Ivy! :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Three_Clicks

We went BR in Jan 09 with £500,000 of debts ~ It may sound like a lot but we were earning the money to pay them.

We worked abroad and when the Euro started to get strong against the Pound about 2 years ago the tourists stopped going on holiday and if they did they didn't spend as much.

I could see that things were going bad, so we returned to the UK and started our BR.

Before we worked 7 days a week from 6am till 10pm.

We never saw our 2 kids, they would be in nusery all day then the nanny would have them in the eve'.

Now we see them ALL the time ~ play with them ~ read with them and do ALL the things that we DIDN'T do before!!!

How do we feel about going BR???

...FANTASTIC...

PS We signed off JSA on 01.10.09 we now are self employed and getting the start up help from the goverment for 16 weeks. (Self Employment Subsidy) And the OR was OK about it.

b-man

for me its been a really tough journey but some really really important things have come out of it.

firstly ive got rid of an enormous amount of debt. this has been dragging me down for years and denial is an easy habit to get into. But it has also kept me working in a high pressure city job that I really didnt want to be doing. the economic down turn for me ment loss of job/contract, which in turn meant loss of my buisness which in turn meant personal bankruptcy.

when i say tough i mean that it takes some adjustment to not have your credit cards as your saftey net any more.

the big positive for me has been sorting out my lifestyle.

before it would be work, go out drinking after work, sleep repeat.


now when you have your daily routine smashed to peices you have to face what you are left with.

i realised that without my work to keep me busy and any money to go out drinking my life was pretty empty and sad.

infact id been working myself stupid to pay the debts but wasnt really happy, so rather than facing upto and dealing with my problems I either worked or got !!!!ed.


seems so clear now but when you are doing it its just city life. Hard work and socialising.

no work and no money to socialise has made me sort my self out.

Ive quit smoking for the first time in 16 years and i was a heavy smoker 40+ day.

I have massively cut down my booze intake and started doing all sorts of other good stuff with my life interms of running, cylcling, learnt to sail dinghys last weekend, rock climbing.

i look and feel like a new man.

as soon as AD comes i'm gonna cycle round europe and do manual labour or what ever work comes my way and just live free for a bit. Ive been wanting to do that for about 5 years but you cant do it when youve got hundereds of pounds of credit card repayments to make.

Me and my best mate are even talking about both trying to get on a boat and work our way round the world.


Bankruptcy for me has ment a hard road to wonderful things - namely freedom and health.

long may it continue for us all :-)