Am I being unreasonable?

cracking_up

I put in an informal letter of complaint against a member of staff and now she has made a complaint against me!

She asked me a question and was given an answer not in a snippy way just a noraml tone how I would talk to someone face to face/ over the phone etc.
I explained where I was going for her to proceed "For god sake I only asked!" infront of not just members of staff but infront of public too! Even as I walked away, I could still hear her moaning about it.

I decided to put a letter of complaint into her supervisor and in no way was I complaining about her doing her job by asking a question but it was her manner and tone and the way that she decided to react!

Never said I wanted any action in the letter but just that I was unhappy and upset with how my morning had started.
Anyway, my boss pulls me intoday and tells me SHE has complained about me!!!
Was I wrong to complain about her? Am I in the wrong to complain for the way I was treated?
I am actually really upset with the fact that she complained as I feel I did nothing wrong. I simply answered a question and she made me feel so small infront of all those people. She had 2 statements against me but there were 3 of her colleagues there and 1 of them who gave a statement was the furthest away? They work in same building but for different company.
I have been feeling low the last few weeks but this today is just the icing on the cake. I have been strong for so long but could feel the tears and the dread of walking out the building before I even left!

terra_ferma

Hello
It's not very clear from what you say, but to me it sounds like something that could have been resolved by talking to the person in question.

You don't say if she said bad things about you, or if this is something she has done before, but if not this is probably seen as a waste of time by the two managers involved. Grievances are time consuming to deal with, and here the reasons don't seem very serious.
Unless I misunderstood the situation.

borders_dude

cracking_up wrote: »

I am actually really upset with the fact that she complained as I feel I did nothing wrong.

Perhaps the person you complained about felt that she had done nothing wrong and was upset too!!

cracking_up wrote: »

I decided to put a letter of complaint into her supervisor

Did you not think you could have spoken to the member of staff directly by yourself before putting in a complaint? It might have been that she was having an off day etc etc and they may even have apologised.

Im not saying you are wrong for putting in a complaint about your working peers but it probs leeds to tension. I know I would be narked if somone I worked with put in a complaint about me!

Rockporkchop

I'm not surprised she put in a tit-for-tat complaint. Putting in a letter of complaint was a bad thing to do, a quick word with her would have been much better.

You say you have been feeling low for the last few weeks - do you think this might be clouding your judgement and making you take things more personally than you normally would? I'm not saying she wasn't rude to you but you may have to develop a thicker skin about this sort of thing, especially as your job involves dealing with the public.

Savvy_Sue

These days, an employer can't treat any letter of complaint 'informally'.

How has the situation been left? Can you ask your manager if mediation could be arranged between you and your fellow complainer?

cracking_up

Her manner was unprofessional, and she could have just pulled me aside and said "look I'm only asking." as opposed to shouting it across the front entrance. I made it perfectly clear that it was her manner and tone and how she handled the situation as opposed to the question! Don't know what she will do if she takes her complaint further then fine but I drew a line under mine, wasn't wanting/looking for an apology, just felt that there was no need for her to make the kind of comments she did in the way she did! Maybe I have higher values, as I would have taken the other person aside but I was in that much of a shock not to mention mortified that I just wanted to get out of sight but what made it worse was her still b!tching as I was walking away for the world and his wife to hear!
As far as my judgement being clouded then no it wasn't. Yeah I have been feeling low but there is also a way in which you talk to people and that isn't it! I'm now wondering if it was a member of public making the complaint then would she complain about them too?
She asked a question, got an answer then decided to be unprofessional and arrogant and proceed to talk to me like a 5 year old. Surely you would complain too? How many of you on here have been spoken to like that by a complete stranger either face to face or over the phone at work or home? You wouldn't take it either. Some people kick off! I decided to to the right thing and put the complaint in writing. Nothing formal and handed to a supervisor. One of them have involved their manager- I never went down the formal route nor did I demand or ask for any action to be taken. I spoke to my managers after the incident and all were in agreement that the situation should have been handled by her differently. I also informed my managers that I was writing a complaint in the way it was handled and all were fine with this. If her letter is t!t for tat then that speaks volumes.

devils_vixen

borders_dude wrote: »

Perhaps the person you complained about felt that she had done nothing wrong and was upset too!! Maybe but from what I gather this person wasn't the one getting a dressing down in public was she?




Did you not think you could have spoken to the member of staff directly by yourself before putting in a complaint? Maybe the OP was too upset to do this for fear of another public bashing? It might have been that she was having an off day etc etc and they may even have apologised. True. But if I have picked this up correct from OP she didn't apologise, so assuming it took OP an hour or so to calm down, speak to managers and write complaint, the person in question could have found time to apologise?

Im not saying you are wrong for putting in a complaint about your working peers but it probs leeds to tension. I know I would be narked if somone I worked with put in a complaint about me!

No one should feel they are in the wrong for putting in a complaint about another member of staff - that's how workplace bullying usually starts. Alot of people that have a complaint against their name are narked but how many actually take notice and attempt to maybe change the way/tone/manner? Bet it's not as much as the amount who end up b1tching about the complainer

Savvy_Sue

cracking_up, you are missing the point. You CANNOT write a letter of complaint and have it treated INFORMALLY. You can speak to someone and ask for an informal resolution, but once it's in writing the employer has to do something about it, and be seen to do something about it.

Otherwise, fast forward a year, this colleague continues to act unprofessionally and you feel bullied, intimidated, whatever. You decide to resign but claim for constructive dismissal because your employer hasn't dealt with this problem. There's your complaint on file and there's no evidence they acted on it.

It's a brave company who ignores it ...

devils_vixen

A quiet word with both involved surely would have resolved the matter informally? Speak to the person the complaint is made against then to both of them together (assuming the complainer has said all there was to be said in writing) that way both understand/get each others point across, matter has been dealt with informally and they can both move on? I can see what you mean Sue but if both understand and agree matter has been resolved informally then there shouldn't be anything like that?

Savvy_Sue

Maybe that's what the manager attempted to do, speak to the person complained about, and their response was to put in a complaint themselves? If they were made aware that the OP had put in a complaint in writing, informal or not, I can understand why they'd respond with a written complaint, attempting to get their side of the story across.

I once wanted to send an email about a manager's behaviour, and HR strongly advised me NOT to put it in writing without first trying to resolve it by speaking to the person concerned. If I'd put anything in writing, however much I didn't want it to become a big deal, it would have been a big deal. In the event, the verbal approach worked first time, but I still had the option of escalating it to a formal complaint.

borders_dude

Someone was rude to me at work today.

I thought of this thread and it made me laugh.

Should I put in a written complaint or should I just shrug it off? I guess in life people are bound to be rude at some point. I think I will be the better person and shrug it off.