To claim or not to claim...?

DUTR

marksoton wrote: »

Very few have the option to " go ".

He has made his intentions clear, he needs to be forced to pay. End of.

The problem is in some episodes , it's the forcing that causes the other problems, I wonder how many more cases would be succesful if the NRP was encouraged to contribute,
Don't get me wrong, he should contribute just as many others do, somehow in this case I think everyone will end up paying even if it is not financially

shell_542

marksoton wrote: »

Indeed they can. But honestly, a man who has shown no desire to pay for the child with the OP and has another he never sees or contributes to ?

Come on Shell, it ain't going to happen.

I meant to click QUOTE not THANKS.

There's a difference between not paying because he hasn't been asked and has been allowed to get away with being a cheeky little git and refusing to pay point blank.

How can you know what someone will do without giving them the opportunity to do it first? She'll be no worse off for a few weeks waiting for a reply and then can make a decision without involving the CSA unnecessarily.

I just do not like the CSA being used without giving an NRP a last chance to prove that they will not cooperate without the use of them.

Just my opinion

kelloggs36

I would say he has no intentions of paying - he can't even offer to take them to the cinema - talk about want your cake and eat it!!!

DUTR

kelloggs36 wrote: »

I would say he has no intentions of paying - he can't even offer to take them to the cinema - talk about want your cake and eat it!!!

What do you suggest the OP do though Kellogs, we know the system can 'easily' make him pay.

kelloggs36

Personally I would offer him a choice - come to a private agreement and pay something or I go to the CSA - it is up to him then.

DUTR

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Personally I would offer him a choice - come to a private agreement and pay something or I go to the CSA - it is up to him then.

It will be interesting to see what the Op decides to do and how it pans from there, it is interesting to read the views from both sides of the fence. :beer:

kelloggs36

Or all three sides!

Dancing_Shoes

kelloggs36 wrote: »

Personally I would offer him a choice - come to a private agreement and pay something or I go to the CSA - it is up to him then.

So money is more important than the ex continuing to see his child? I agree he is taking the biscuit but he already doesn't see another so if she goes to the csa she really knows already that her child will no longer have contact with their father.....how can you explain that to the child when they are older? Would you be happy if you lost your father because your mum wanted to get some money?

The child is the most important person in all of this not the op or her ex

Blonde_Bint

I do agree DS but this guy is taking the right p155 and he knows it. A bloke who wont take his kids out and pay for the day. Still he's only getting away with it because the OP is letting him get away with it. He can take them to parks they are free and if you take a flask and a little pic nic you can stay there for hours the littl un loves it. and soubrette you'll appreciate this its FREE FREE FREE. Take them to the swimming pool this is quite cheap bet its under a tenner for 1 adult and 2 kids. Tape a kids film off the television and take them back to his place and they can watch it with some sweets/crisp etc.

I would stop covering for him. Dont give him money OP he has the money he is just spending it elsewhere. If we didnt pay child support lets see I could get my hair done, buy myself more clothes extra make up I dont need it but what the hey we dont pay child support so I'll need the make up for the extra nights out down the pub, do you get what i'm saying OP.
This guy has an income its all down to what he wants to spend his money on. Only you can decide if you risk him not seeing his children and to that I would say thats his choice and in a way he is black mailing you, twisting it so its your fault if he doesnt see his kids, "I would have seen you kids but its your mothers fault I didnt come because she forced me to pay for your food clothes shoes and the roof over your head". :mad: bo^$ocks. He's twisting it and you've lived with it for so long its become normal way of life, take the bull by the horns and Do it. Try to take yourself out of the situation and look at it as if a friend was telling you all this was happening to her, what would you say to her?

Please let us know how you got on as someone in a similar situation to you could be reading this thread and it may help them to make a decision one way or the other. Good Luck and I hope you have a happy outcome.

Dancing_Shoes

Blonde_Bint wrote: »

I do agree DS but this guy is taking the right p155 and he knows it. A bloke who wont take his kids out and pay for the day. Still he's only getting away with it because the OP is letting him get away with it. He can take them to parks they are free and if you take a flask and a little pic nic you can stay there for hours the littl un loves it. and soubrette you'll appreciate this its FREE FREE FREE. Take them to the swimming pool this is quite cheap bet its under a tenner for 1 adult and 2 kids. Tape a kids film off the television and take them back to his place and they can watch it with some sweets/crisp etc.

I would stop covering for him. Dont give him money OP he has the money he is just spending it elsewhere. If we didnt pay child support lets see I could get my hair done, buy myself more clothes extra make up I dont need it but what the hey we dont pay child support so I'll need the make up for the extra nights out down the pub, do you get what i'm saying OP.
This guy has an income its all down to what he wants to spend his money on. Only you can decide if you risk him not seeing his children and to that I would say thats his choice and in a way he is black mailing you, twisting it so its your fault if he doesnt see his kids, "I would have seen you kids but its your mothers fault I didnt come because she forced me to pay for your food clothes shoes and the roof over your head". :mad: bo^$ocks. He's twisting it and you've lived with it for so long its become normal way of life, take the bull by the horns and Do it. Try to take yourself out of the situation and look at it as if a friend was telling you all this was happening to her, what would you say to her?

Please let us know how you got on as someone in a similar situation to you could be reading this thread and it may help them to make a decision one way or the other. Good Luck and I hope you have a happy outcome.

I agree with you, he is totally taking the biscuit and he sounds like an utter scumbag. Re the taking them out we all know there are heaps of things you can do for free or very little cost but he is obviously just a sponger:rolleyes:
It gets on my nerves that "people" like this are able to get away with it but he has already shown very little regard for the role of "dad" by not seeing or paying for another child, you always hear how the children involved would have given anything when they look back as adults to have had their father in their life. I would let the children work out what he is like for themselves when they are older at least it could never be thrown back at you.
I am NOT condoning what he is doing he sounds like an utter piece of scum!!!:mad: