I need help so badly

LittleMissSkint

I have no idea if this is even the right place to put it, but I'm so tired of my debt and desperately need help! I'm all in a tizzy with just trying to figure out how to feed the kids this week so it's a bit rushed but advice is badly needed. I will try here to sum up the situation with the debt:

There are 5 of us, 2 adults and 3 kids aged 6 and under. The debt is all in my partners name and I have no income anyway so I will only include him here.

Wage: 2700
Mortgage: 574
Buildings and Contents Ins: 20
Car: 272 (not sure if its HP or just a loan!)
Maint for his ex-wife and kiddies: 400 (set by court)
Groceries/living: 500 (there are a lot of us and everything is so expensive)
Clothes: 30
Emergencies: 20
Council Tax: 130 (includes water)
Gas: 94
Elec: 94 (these both include arrears)
Fuel: 40
Tax for car: 30
Mobile: 10
House Phone: 11
Net: 15

I'm not even sure if that is everything. Then there's the debt. It's HUGE.

Northern Rock - £15,000 (£154 per month)
MBNA - £10,000 (139 per month - interest frozen)
Egg - £19,000 (£150 pm)
Nationwide cred card: £900 (40pm)
Tesco Loan £15,000 (279pm)
Tesco card £5,200 (£55pm)
Scott & Co Council Tax arrears 2,000 (£30 pw)
Coventry Loan £18,000 (144 per month)

I'm sorry I haven't even totalled it up, I can't bear to.
It's so depressing to see it all there. It is an obscene amount of debt, and I am ashamed. People were just throwing credit at us left right and centre and suddenly we couldn't pay.

We own our home (mortgaged - partners name only) and really don't want to lose it. Nor ideally the car. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired of snapping at my kids, crying every day, being physically sick with worry, terrified of every knock on the door or the phone ringing and never enjoying anything anymore. I want my life back. My children deserve their happy Mummy back =( I feel I have ruined their lives, I can't give them anything. Xmas is coming and I can't cope at all.

What can I do? Go BR? trust Deed? DAS? Will we definitely lose our home and car? there is no equity (or very very little) in the house. We bought it in the big boom and paid far more than it was worth. I'm in Scotland BTW, I know our rules are different than Englands.

Help.

ramblingtree

Hi,
The people in the know will be along in soon, but thought I would send a hello and a hug.
It is really hard, but people on here will sort you out and get you the advice you need.
xx

ramblingtree

Also, your debts are huge, but less than mine were at the start, so you will be able to sort something out.

LittleMissSkint

Thank you so much, I didn't think anyone had debts bigger than mine. I've read about people struggling with 5K-20K of debt which seems about normal and thought my god what have I done

ramblingtree

Sorry, one last thing, have you called one of the debt charities? One of the free to use ones? They will be the best people to help you get a plan together.
I sent the messages in bits as my computer keeps logging me out!
x

ramblingtree

Ha, yes, mine and my partners debts are huge. It is what it is, the thing to do is to not compare yourself with others. Everyone has their own situation.

LittleMissSkint

I called the National Debtline who said DAS, but then CCCS said we didn't have anywhere near enough spare for DAS, so I am none the wiser really.

misspoppy

HI
well the bottom line is that you are £621 short for all your expenses and debt repayments.

You could reduce your food home cook everything. have you included all income, child benefit have you tried to claim any benefits?

Have your other halfs circumstances changed since the order for child maintanence was made there is an online calculator on the CSA website so you could double check that its a fair rate you are paying.

Other than that is there anyway you could get a part time job, weekends or evenings because you will need proffessional help to sort this out with that size short fall.

ramblingtree

Hmmm, what is a DAS? Sorry, I'm not very good with all the lingo. We're managing to pay off things without a DMP so I've never contacted CCCS.
I also don't know about whether you would be able to keep your house if you went bankrupt. But in essence although its your home, its just another possession and if bankruptcy may be the best thing in the long run, you would regain your health and happiness.

LittleMissSkint

Hi,

I already home cook everything, I buy supermarkets own brands and everything - the prices of everything is still so high. I get Child Benefit, but I didn't want to include that as National Debtline said only my partners income and debts should be included - he doesn't get my CHB so I didn't think it needed included. I use the CHB for all the silly little things we can never afford normally. We never buy luxuries in any form.

No, circumstances haven't changed (well, we didn't have this much debt when it was set out) It wasn't the CSA who ordered the amount - it was in the divorce agreement. If he didn't sign it, no divorce.

I have been trying so hard to get work but there is nothing for the hours I could do, which like you say is evenings and weekends.

ramblingtree

In regards to feeding your kids this week, do you have enough in the house to do that? If not do you have friends/family that could help you? Your first priority is to look after the children and yourself/husband before thinking about debt repayment.