getting the balance right

[Deleted User]

I too have always been a fairly frugal person and could if I wanted to relax a bit more when it comes to spending,but I too just would feel 'wrong' to spend it just for the sake of it.So I have a weeks spring holiday with my oldest friend, and a good summer holiday with my DD and family.The extra cash I save goes towards this.At the moment I am helping my youngest DD out with extra bits as she is out of work and with five children to feed things are a bit tight in their house.So a couple of bags of shopping for bits that I know she would not buy at the moment helps her out and doesn't make her feel uncomfortable.I have always followed my old Mum's creed,after everything is paid divide your money into three .One for food ,one for saving and one for 'happy cash' even if its only something daft you can spend your 'happy cash ' on what ever you feel like There have been times when it was only a bag of cream doughnuts for the family, but it didn't seem like 'wasting' money as it was surplus to anything else.
I'm quite an organised person when it comes to money and even when my late OH was alive I always paid the bills and did the accounts.He was quite happy for me to do this as he said he knew that everything would get paid and I was far better with money than he ever was
I have my 'rainy day' money tucked away but so far touch wood its been damp a few times, but never actually rained a great deal.:):)

Kittendreich

Since you have your mortgage paid off, living expenses covered and I presume savings for any emergencies etc then you should enjoy spending the extra. You can't take it with you when you go so getting enjoyment out of life (for you and your family) would be where I would put any extra cash (not that I'll have any for many, many years!)

You also don't have to give up your moneysaving ways when spending money (if that makes sense!) - work out what holiday you would like to go on and then see how cheap you can get it. Saving money doesn't mean bargain basement - you could go first class and five star, but if you have paid less than everyone else there then it is still a bargain (assuming it is extra money that you can afford to spend).

Could you set up savings for specific things so that you know what 'rainy day' you are saving for? i.e. a car fund, a holiday pot, decorating pot, future savings to help out the kids (i.e. university, first home, weddings etc) - then when these things happen you can easily spare the money for them.

You are in a great position and deserve a treat for being so careful. Spend some money wisely and really enjoy it - some things might be day to day things that will make everyday a bit brighter (is there something you would love for the house? a skill you would like to take classes in?), some things might be bigger and focused on creating memories for you and others (e.g. a holiday) - either way it can do more good than just sitting in the bank.

rachbc

ubamother wrote: »

As you buy something, it depreciates - and so does your satisfaction and enjoyment of it - a brand new car, kitchen etc. soon gets marked and loses it's nice newness and your sense of enjoyment of it can also depreciate. If you get the kids' rooms done will it bug you when their beautiful new rooms get messy, or they don't appreciate them for as long as you do? The only big spend that doesn't depreciate is a holiday - the memories can last forever - I'd go with a holiday.

Funny how we are all so different - I feel the exact opposite - we spend a fiar bit on our house as its really important to us - we are slowly working through room by room and still I get an enourmous sense of staisfaction and happiness when i go into the 'done' rooms. Our new kitchen for example has made life so much easier cooking etc that its worth every penny to me.

Holidays however mean much less to me- we have as many nice memories for day trips and silly family things as from holidays.

So talk to your family and see what thye/ you want to spend some money on

tallyhoh

I was fairly ill at Christmas & at one point thought the worst. Decided I was going to go against the habits of a lifetime & splash the cash. The thought lasted till I got out of hospital & now back to my penny pinching ways, lol.

A holiday is a good idea, everyone remembers it more than clothes or wallpaper.

artichoke

we live very frugally but i have always believed in creating "magical memories" for the kids (Now aged 5 and 6) so we do always have a summer holiday - tradition uk holiday, camping near a beach, but it depends what age your kids are as to what type of activities they would enjoy and would be special for them.

As my kids are young no matter how tight money its before christmas we have always gone somewhere special to see Father Christmas eg when we could go in term time we went to Lapland Experience at Centre Parcs, Gullivers, but since they have been at school we have gone to The Christmas Experience in Yorkshire or Santa Special. They have photos of all these and still talk about them each year....

we also try and have a few days out in school holidays- very OS taking a pack lunch, last year we went to london and just got a family travel card and travelled around on a red bus looking at the sites - the kids thought it was great as they sat upstairs at the front...and we went to the national space centre on a Star Wars theme days - this was their favourite day ever as they saw all the characters dressed up in costume and had photos taken with lightsabres etc...

As mine are young it does not take a lot of money to make memories for the kids but it has involved spending more than we would in a normal month...and doing some research to see what is on and booking tickets in advance - the star wars thing we booked 6 months in advance ..but it was only the normal admission price to the space centre.. and we took a packed lunch and our own drinks.

i would talk to them and see what they would like to do...

have fun and enjoy time as a family

art

nonnatus

I know exactly what you mean, the OS thing gets easier and the spending gets harder doesn't it?
I had to shell out £150 yesterday on something non-essential. I had the money, it was a long planned (and much anticipated) purchase but I still felt physically sick for the rest of the day.:(

alec_eiffel

dandy-candy wrote: »

In my teens I was very short of money and became frugal through necessity, and as an adult i've kept up my scrimping. As a result we have paid off our mortgage and got savings put by. I've always planned to keep saving but over the last year my bro nearly died in an accident, and my mum has become terminally ill and it's made me think that instead of constantly squirreling my money away for a rainy day maybe I should be enjoying it! The thing is i've never been comfortable spending (I always like a bargain) so i'm not going to suddenly buy a fancy car or designer clothes - what should I do with it? I was thinking a nice family holiday so the kids would have good memories to look back on, or maybe getting their bedrooms made over? Do you find it hard to splurge money when you live an OS life or have I just turned into a scrooge :eek:

We've found that for us the best way to find a balance is to keep it simple - do a written budget. That way we can see that everything is being dealt with, we see there is provision for pension, emergencies, long term savings etc but then we also give ourselves permission for some of the short term fun things too. It helps keep balance and perspective for me, so we don't go overboard on one aspect to the detriment of another.

Shalva

another vote fo the holiday here......we never had much to spare when I was growing up but I have wonderful memories of seaside holidays, camping and caravaning, from my childhood and also of our one holiday abroad , camping in the south of france......you can be frugal as well...we always self catered ....memories of warm squash and egg sandwiches.........and an ice cream was a treat and not taken for granted......

I hope my children will feel the same and remember our holidays fondly....and not the fact that we could have done with buying "stuff" for house or decorating instead. ........Ive yet to hear an adult remnisce about the
wallpaper or furniture from their chidhood............

Paulap

How about buying a caravan? It means you and your family can explore the UK (and Europe for the adventurous) having many holidays, and weekends away - you can also buy good vans secondhand. Value for money, and great memories :-)

pigpen

I would be after investing it in a property which the children can rent from you when they are old enough to live independantly.. but my house would have to be sorted and pretty first.

I hate holidays as I am a homebody!!