getting the balance right

katieclampet

I am frugal for several reasons;

We were very poor years ago, so we got used to having to make do and manage. Clothes, shoes, toys etc bought from jumble sales, second hand shops, charity shops & carboot sales

I hate to see waste, and like to reuse as much as possible
(I was "green & environmentally friendly" years before it was fashionable)

I don't like feeling pressured by society, advertisers, media etc

Like a previous poster, I like to get a bargain. pay as little as possible,

But, the money I save I spend on doing things I really enjoy, & get a great deal of pleasure from. Life is too short to be miserable, but if you are enjoying saving, then thats fine.

Maybe you could earmark a sum of money every month for "treats", that way you can still enjoy yourself, and your spending money is part of your budget.

katie

dandy-candy

In my teens I was very short of money and became frugal through necessity, and as an adult i've kept up my scrimping. As a result we have paid off our mortgage and got savings put by. I've always planned to keep saving but over the last year my bro nearly died in an accident, and my mum has become terminally ill and it's made me think that instead of constantly squirreling my money away for a rainy day maybe I should be enjoying it! The thing is i've never been comfortable spending (I always like a bargain) so i'm not going to suddenly buy a fancy car or designer clothes - what should I do with it? I was thinking a nice family holiday so the kids would have good memories to look back on, or maybe getting their bedrooms made over? Do you find it hard to splurge money when you live an OS life or have I just turned into a scrooge :eek:

Soubrette

Why not have a family discussion to see how everyone feels and how everyone could get the maximum fun out the money?

Personally I'd rather have my house decorated exactly how I want it rather than a holiday of a lifetime but some people feel differently.

I wonder whether I might be in the same quandary as you in the future because I find bargains and living old style quite fun, I like the handmade or hand grown aspect of life and I like feeling like I've put one over on big companies by getting bargains, switching providers or getting cashback etc.

Still, at the moment it isn't a problem

rosie383

That's a nice position you find yourself in. I can't advise you, but in the sales, my dh gave me carte blanche to go into town and buy myself clothes. I ended up with one cardigan, greatly reduced. He had bought maybe, 15 things for himself and the kids got what they needed too.
He ended up getting cross with me and sent me in again to buy something decent. I found it really hard.
SSSHHHHHH! Don't tell him. a couple of the things I got in the sales (with his money) I ended up taking back and getting refunds. I went into the charity shop instead and bought a couple of bits from there, which he said were very nice! The refund money is squirrelled away for a rainy 'me' day!!!!

FLA27

Thanks for posting this, I can relate to this feeling well. I've always been a money saver and hate to buy things for the sake of just buying something. I started a new job last year after being unemployed for a while and have recently come into some money through inheritance. Having almost payed off my mortgage, I can afford to spend a bit on myself but just don't seem to want anything that badly. I actually feel like I don't need new clothes, that can't be healthy! I think I have OS overdosed, I'm glad i'm not alone. My biggest expense recently was a new shed, the old one was going rotten.

beemuzed

Hmm, very nice position to be in! I second the idea of talking to the family and seeing what they'd like.
If you really can't think of anything and you really do have plenty to spare, maybe do something like sponsor a child to feel you've really made a difference to someone else's life?

Bella79

I would spend some on creating memories for the children, when i think back to when i was young i always remeber the holiday i had with my mum and dad (dad got redundency from pit)

It was our first and last hol abroad and i think of it so fondly

JulieGeorgiana

If you can afford it... and the rest of the family agree... then I'd go on holiday!

That's a good memory you'll have!

GreyQueen

I can so empathise with the feeling that perhaps one can overdose on OS; had a scare with cancer in the family recently, too, and it does make you re-evalute your priorities. My inclination would be a big ticket family trip, event of a lifetime, lots of memories, but that may not be what you and yours want. It's a great annoyance not being able to predict how long we'll be here so we can arrange our time and resources to our best advantage .

ubamother

As you buy something, it depreciates - and so does your satisfaction and enjoyment of it - a brand new car, kitchen etc. soon gets marked and loses it's nice newness and your sense of enjoyment of it can also depreciate. If you get the kids' rooms done will it bug you when their beautiful new rooms get messy, or they don't appreciate them for as long as you do? The only big spend that doesn't depreciate is a holiday - the memories can last forever - I'd go with a holiday.