21 yrs old and still paying maintenance to ex-wife

Hi_Ho_Silver

One of my partners daughters is now 21 and just starting her final year at Uni having worked full time for the last year on placement. She lives with her mother. My partner is still expected to pay maintenance to his ex-wife plus dinner money, pocket money and has also funded his daughters hobby. His daughter has her own car, has several thousand pounds in her bank account, no student loans or debts and lives a comfortable lifestyle. My partner however earns a modest income and is constantly in debt.
He has tried to talk to his daughter and explain that he needs to make some cutbacks and that he wants to reduce his funding of her hobby and stop paying her pocket money but has been met by tantrums from both the daughter and his ex plus even more demands for money.
It is all very distressing. Is it normal to continue paying so much for a 21year old when it means you going into debt as a result (CSA not involved - maintenance agreed through solicitors).
My partner loves his kids and wants the best for them but should he now make a stand? Is he legally required to keep paying out?

Dancing_Shoes

Is this agreed under a court order?
If so what is the end date on the paperwork?

Donedoingdebt

If it's under a court until a specified age or until further/advanced education is completed, then I'd guess he would still be legally obliged to pay. You/he will have to refer to the documents from the court agreement to clarify this.

If the court order still stands, then he can always apply to the original court to have the amount payable reduced due to financial hardship & supply the evidence of his increasing debt & an income/outgoing balance sheet, again backed up with evidence if need be.

In my opinion, it's not the norm to still be paying maintenance to the PWC when the child has reached 21. The absolute cut off date for liability via the CSA is the child's 19 birthday.

Although, of course, it is perfectly normal for either parent to continue helping out their offspring financially for as long as needed, in my opinion, this should be a private agreement between your partner & his Daughter & they should not be answerable to the tantrums of the PWC. This is one form of emotional blackmail that a lot of NRPs have been subject to at some point or other & he just has to be firm. It's in nobody's interest for your partner to go under with debt.

jacklink

as far as im aware you (or paying party) are not under any obligation of paying csa after the septemeber in the year of the 'childs' 19th birthday. any payments beyond this uni or whatever are in effect voluntarily, unless a court speculates

Valli

well it's like training a toddler.

You say no
toddler throws tantrum
you say no
toddler gives up.

BUT give in and she will keep asking.

If he is not legally obliged to continue to support her he can say "I can no longer afford to give you £x but I can give you half £x (or whatever) or that's it - I can no longer afford to give you anything".

But if daughter and her mum are kicking up a fuss and getting what they want:rolleyes: they will continue to play THAT game.

Short term pain for long term gain!

Hi_Ho_Silver

Thanks for your replies. Yes it is a court order and the child maintenance is to be paid until 17 or end of tertiary education - there seems to be much confusion as to what 'tertiary' education actually means - but my partner would definitely support his daughter thro uni - he pays the maintenance and half the tuition fees the rest being paid by his ex.
The difficult bit is the bit that says he is to pay dinner money and pocket money for the children - is it fair to say that at age 21 she is no longer a child? Plus it says contribute to cost of her hobby within reason. I stress that he wants to support as much as he can but there has been so much emotional blackmail and demands for money for all kinds of things and lots of tantrums if told 'no' - and yes he has been guilty in the past of paying up in order to avoid the screaming (literally - in fact the daughter actually spat in his face one time) and yes he does know that by giving in he encouraged further tantrums.
I am trying to help him to stand firm where necessary - his daughter surely has to learn that you can't always have everything you want and learn some respect for her father rather than demanding money as her right? All he has said is that he needs to cut back a bit and can't be as generous as he has been able to be in the past. Since then he has been bombarded with demands for money.

Soubrette

In some instances a court order can be set aside by the CSA - it sounds like yours might be too old but it might be worth phoning them for advice.

Our lines are open 8am to 8pm Monday to Friday and 9am to 5pm Saturday
Telephone: 08457 133 133

Otherwise I think you are stuck with the exact terms of the court order.

Tertiary does seem a grey area definition wise - it seems from a quick shufty round the internet that most people believe it to mean up to age 18 in England or up to age 25 if education continues through to degree in Scotland. I guess you would have to go back to court and challenge this for a definitive answer though

Sou

Dancing_Shoes

If you make a quick call to a solicitor they will be able to explain what "tertiary" education will mean in a court of law then you will have a choice of what you do. i.e if it stands then he will have to go back to court for an amendment or if it no longer stands he can choose what contribution he wants to make

Oldernotwiser

Hi_Ho_Silver wrote: »

Thanks for your replies. Yes it is a court order and the child maintenance is to be paid until 17 or end of tertiary education - there seems to be much confusion as to what 'tertiary' education actually means -.

Tertiary education wouldn't normally include university, however this would be in educational terms rather than legal.

ALIBOBSY

From when I was at the DWP tertiary was "non-advanced" education and was alevels btec etc. Basically one up from secondary education. Certainly not uni.

Realistically do you think the PWC would bother to go back to court if he just reduces the payments? Do you think the judge would think it reasonable. I doubt it.

However most parents even if together would pay alot towards a childs costs when at uni.
May be worth checking with a solicitor like the other poster said.

Why should the PWC get anything now? I can see paying towards childs costs, but that is all and should only be an amount he can afford to pay.

ali x

Donedoingdebt

jacklink wrote: »

as far as im aware you (or paying party) are not under any obligation of paying csa after the septemeber in the year of the 'childs' 19th birthday. any payments beyond this uni or whatever are in effect voluntarily, unless a court speculates

Liability via the CSA ends on the exact date of the child's 19th birthday, not the following September.

The "until next September rule" applies if the child finishes further education under the age of 19 (A levels, 1 or 2 year further education course at college, for example.)