oh my goodness what have i done!

misspoppy

Hi

cashflow is always a nightmare in businesses buying a car - a BMW is reckless our business leased a £20k 4x4 2 years ago with monthly payments and a £9k balloon payment due next month, its worth £6k now not even enough to cover the balloon payment. We work with large firms very large firms it doesn't stop them paying £18k instead of £90k its a nightmare if you can stop him signing for this car do so as it will be a chain around your necks whether the business works or not.

cakey

MrsAnnie wrote: »

Do you believe he will too? Or do you think he is in la la land?

He must be predicting some very high and speedy returns on the investment; May 2010 is only around the corner!

You really do need to sit down and chat to him and tell him your concerns.

he is already making 1400 a month on the new business and is due a payment of 4K today, so i know the money will be there.

on believing him.... i just dont know. i have never doubted his trust before, but when you put it in writing like this i just think.. MUG

cakey

euronorris wrote: »

His reaction seems childish and manipulative to me.

I assume that the money was jointly saved, and therefore, is half yours. You are entitled to ask for it back now, as promised.

I wouldn't lend him anymore money until he can show you that he pays it back.

I also agree that your savings could be better spent on clearing your debts, but understand why you may not want to wait until their clear before you marry.

Have you decided on the date, venue, flowers etc that you want and then looked into bringing the cost down as much as possible? Enlisting the help of friends is a good one and makes people feel more involved.

But, before progressing with that, I would suggest you have a long chat about the finances as he doesn't appear to be taking them very seriously at the moment.

Out of interest, how much of the combined debt was racked up by your hubby to be?

his debt is 19K, mine 11K. None racked up together, both from previous relationships.

My parents are contributing to the wedding, mum bought my dress (in the sale) she is paying fo flowers etc and my dad has contributed a chunk.

i had 2 sisters get married this year and they all got the same (i know my poor parents!)

i agree with eveyrone a chat is needed. its just so frustrating, he agrees, then goes and does what he wants.

MrsAnnie

cakey wrote: »

he is already making 1400 a month on the new business and is due a payment of 4K today, so i know the money will be there.

on believing him.... i just dont know. i have never doubted his trust before, but when you put it in writing like this i just think.. MUG

Be where? Back in the savings pot? or reinvested in his business?

cakey wrote: »

i agree with eveyrone a chat is needed. its just so frustrating, he agrees, then goes and does what he wants.

You need to be firm with him. Tell him what you are expecting from him, compromise, and agree on an action plan. Then make him commit the outcome of your discussions. If he says he will pay back £xxxx into the wedding fund on a certain date, hold him to that. Don't sit back silently and let your feelings fester.

cakey

the money the business is earning is staying in the business.. bar the momey he owes that he has borrowed. He says he will take out what he has borrowed and give back.

just hoping i havent made a huge mistake in letting him take it

niclj

I think MrsAnnie is right.

Explain your concerns to him and get an agreement as to when and how much he is going to put back into your wedding fund.

chalkie99

cakey wrote: »

he is already making 1400 a month on the new business and is due a payment of 4K today, so i know the money will be there.

A payment of 4k means nothing -it's the profit that counts and if he is making £1400 a month ( and I bet that is gross) it is nothing like enough to be splashing out on vehicles, especially something bought merely because he perceives it will make him look cool.

GeniusGenie

By putting your joint salaries into one account, and letting you manage it all, he has completely shirked responsibility for his debts, his actions, and for the way he approaches his finances.

You do need to sit down and really discuss this with him, if what you say to him does not go in, you need to keep changing how you approach it so he does understand. Communication is the response you get!

Something else you could try is to write him a letter laying out all your concerns, worries and feelings. When its in black and white its hard to refute, and it allows you to get everything off your chest. It always works for me...

Good luck

euronorris

cakey wrote: »

his debt is 19K, mine 11K. None racked up together, both from previous relationships.

My parents are contributing to the wedding, mum bought my dress (in the sale) she is paying fo flowers etc and my dad has contributed a chunk.

i had 2 sisters get married this year and they all got the same (i know my poor parents!)

i agree with eveyrone a chat is needed. its just so frustrating, he agrees, then goes and does what he wants.

Yeah, my parents have had to do the same with my brother and sister this year and the same thing happened with my other bro and sis 10 years ago! lol

OK, but on your last point. If he's agreeing and then not following through, you need to pull him up on it. As others have suggested, during your chat with him, get him to agree to a date to repay the funds and ensure he does.

And don't let him borrow anymore until he repays what is already owed.

I also agree on the point about him not having any financial responsibility. He needs to be more involved, otherwise it will never be real to him.

Is he any good at managing the business finances? If so, you should tell him to start applying that business mind to his personal finances. And if not, well then this issue needs to be resolved sooner rather than later for the sake of the business.

DevonGirl

Hi there - just to say, is there anyway you could separate your home finances, business finances, and wedding monies. If they are 3 separate pots it becomes much clearer to see what's coming in and out...

I hope things work out for you!