Telling family/friends about your debt

In_my_dreams

My side of the family have an "idea" we are in debt but no figures are mentioned and it's just mentioned as a general credit crunch/cutting back type of excuse.

Told my best friend about the full extent of it and even hid behind the cushion when I said the figure and she has been amazing. No condemnation, didn't judge me, nothing, thought she would tell me off for thinking we could still have a social life and she goes out of her way to make cheaper suggestions. I rang her up this week just to tell her what the figure had gone down to.

I don't think there is anyone else I would tell, feel too ashamed that we got into this mess, maybe in time I will do what the OP said and print off my diary as a reminder and share it. For now it's my little (or big) secret!

Mikeone

@KipKip. SNAP! My debt is at a similar level to yours at your LBM, and I my target is to also pay £800 of salary towards it per month, and to top that up to a grand. Your story has given me a big dose of confidence! :j
Coming back on topic though –obviously I don’t know everyone’s personal circumstances, but I have found it a massive help to talk about my debts. My OH is very good at sticking to a budget, and I am learning a lot from her (as well as MSE!). She supports me in my DFW ambitions, and keeps me on the straight and narrow financially speaking.

That said, I didn’t discuss my finances when they were at their absolute worst -I only opened up once I started to work on getting out of the situation. This seems to have been a good approach for several posters, and I can recommend it too.

BeautyandtheBeast_3

My husband knows but my parens dont know to the extent of my signature - i have the supportive of hubby which is enough for me xxx

Pippilongstocking

Hiya
I was in about 33k worth of debt last April - my brother moved up to help me with some childminding for a week and he's never been in debt - so it was a complete clash of cultures - I always lived life well above my means and maximised every penny I had spending

He saved

It was awesome but scary talking to him about debt - to begin with I was a bit flippant about the debt I was in (wasn't everyone?) and then slowly I began to realise um no - its not something I wanted to sustain. Talking to him really helped me - but unless we'd been living together for a while i guess I never would have.

I am a single parent and all my chums still have hubbies and double incomes, we never kept up with the Jones (so to speak) but I guess I plugged the gap with cards, loans and overdrafts where I could.

I only told one of my other brothers recently because he was SO living outwith his means and leavign his GF and my Mum to pick up the peices on a weekly basis for him. When he heard my debt figure he was really shocked - when I told him how much we'd paid off in a bout a year he nearly fell over (its more than his total debt). He's still not really listening but maybe when he has his LBM I can help a bit?

I have told a couple chums and my new OH now knows - but he's very sensible about money (we don't live together at the mo) and everyone has been really supportive. I told my Mum who was really shocked and a bit judgemental - until I told her how much we'd paid over the last year.

I overpay massively whenever I can and have cleared a big loan (well big for me) really quickly by overpaying using PAD's and every spare bean goes to debt - we live so frugally now and enjoy those 'treats' by balancing something extra coming in with either an over payment or a contribution to a treat.

Goodluck!!

YORKSHIRELASS

I havent told my parents, they would be worried sick and its not fair to burden them with that. I used to think that I was the only person with debts and everyone else went around splashing the cash while still having thousands in their bank accounts. Since starting this debt free journey I have discovered that a lot of my friends and work colleagues are in the same situation as me, the only difference being that they havent discovered this site and still have their heads in the sand. That has given me a bit more motivation to continue and I am trying to be more honest with myself and other people about my financial situation.

Having said all that the other day I went into work wearing a "new" top and someone I dont know very well complimented me on it. I really wanted to have the guts to say "thanks, it cost me £1.50 from the charity shop" but in the end I was just too proud.

ghostmadlittlemiss

My boyfriend knows about my debts (I couldn't cope without him) and my mum knows as well, since I told her before trying to take her to the Manchester meet (the one where I couldn't find anyone and sat in the pub for 3 hours ). I thought my mum would be really shocked since she's really good with money but it turns out my uncle (my mum's brother) owes 10s of 1000s that he's been hiding from for years, run up from trying to impress women. So my debts look tiny in comparison. I might tell my grandparents when the debts are paid off, I'm worried they might want to help, they don't have much money as it is.
Kayleigh

pir

I think we all know deep down who we can tell. Some people we know, friends or family, will just not be that understanding even though they try. On the other hand, others will be a great support. Use your gut and you'll tell the right person. I think the worst thing, apart from the actual debt itself, is feeling alone. Telling someone about it is a great relief. Just choose carefully!

SazM030306

My DH knows, as it was both of us who took out the loan lol, but I cannot tell my parents. My mum is always saying that she's so proud of me, managing the finances so well and not being in loads of debt (!!!) and she doesn't have to worry about me. It's because I'm always menu planning and looking for the cheapest price for everything that she thinks I'm so good...it would probably disappoint her greatly to find out about about our debt.
At least DH is good and hardly spends a penny, though it's very hard when we can't afford a decent car (he loves cars) or to take the kids everywhere their mates get to go like Legoland or Florida. Lets just hope they grow up with good money values. DS currently thinks if you need money you just go to the hole in the wall and get as much as you want hahaha.
Sarah xxx