Liability Order,

stressed_nrp

bdt1 wrote: »

13 months down the line from when we applied for our DP File, CSA originally sent it over 1 month late, stuff missing and now after ICO involvement, they have admitted some of our personal info has either been lost or destroyed - they have admitted breach of the 6th and 7th principle of the DP Act.

Just very cynical as the info was infact the evidence that proves their assessment is totally incorrect, and that the associated arrears etc are a looad of rubbish, have copies of this info, so be interesting when we supply it for forthcoming Tribunal. CSA have now admitted their assessment incorrect, and if they can corralate all info before our Tribunal date, the appeal will lapse in our favour and no need for Tribunal - shame as we had bailiffs at door, LO, CCJ and application for charge on our property on these 'alleged arrears'

I hope it all falls through, however what did you do when bailiffs called? Did they want to take goods or would they negotiate with you?

bdt1

We had to discuss with our children the importance of keeping all doors locked at all times, and if anyone knocked on the door, under no circumstances answer the door (we lived like prisoner cell block for some months, with my wife and I nominated as key holders)- should any law abiding person ever have to have that discussion with a child , as a result of a totally incorrect CSA **ck up? I think not!!!!!!!!!

When the bailiff knocked the 1st time we ignored the door, he left a card for us to contact him, we did not. 2nd time he knocked we were out so he left a card for us to ring him. 3rd time he called we again ignored the door, but he had put on the note that it was to negotiate a payment schedule.

He never called again but returned case to CSA.

stressed_nrp

bdt1 wrote: »

We had to discuss with our children the importance of keeping all doors locked at all times, and if anyone knocked on the door, under no circumstances answer the door (we lived like prisoner cell block for some months, with my wife and I nominated as key holders)- should any law abiding person ever have to have that discussion with a child , as a result of a totally incorrect CSA **ck up? I think not!!!!!!!!!

When the bailiff knocked the 1st time we ignored the door, he left a card for us to contact him, we did not. 2nd time he knocked we were out so he left a card for us to ring him. 3rd time he called we again ignored the door, but he had put on the note that it was to negotiate a payment schedule.

He never called again but returned case to CSA.

So the CSA had the case returned, what happens then? Do they reapply to get you arrested at court? I am happy to pay, I mean I never stopped, it's jsut a lot less than they want. But will the bailiffs understand that - or do I hide behind curtains too? I don't want to pry but can I also ask do you see your children now? I know that I am starting to resent my child because of all this, I guess that's normal is it?

bdt1

I haven't seen the children since my wife and I had our child, the PWC stopped all contact unless I would sit in her home, on a supervised visit (by her) alone, she stressed that under no circumstances could I take my children out, incase I took them to my home where my wife and 2nd family may be.

We went through the Courts for access, but on contact day, I was forever getting a call, children have 'poorly tummies' today, so no visit, or 'a birthday party' so no visit, etc etc, in the end the strain of it all was too much, so I relented, I have and still do think of them , but hope one day they will come and find me, and hear my version of events, after all the bitterness they must have overheard cannot have been healthy for them. My wife, at one point even said we should try and get custody, but that would have created even more trouble, yet I do feel the children would have had a more stable environment, again though, I don't think I could take a child away from it's mother

Back to the bailiffs when the case is returned to CSA it is at that point that they will get a CCJ, and start looking at charge on property etc, they are very swift so please be prepared. The bailiffs are in our experience ok(ish), they told me that although they were chasing me for 34k that was nothing, one poor bloke was on their caseload for 350k, so we were peanuts really. If you have a flash car, think about who is the registered keeper, you can sell it to whoever you like for an agreed price, I didn't have that worry only a hire vehicle for work purposes. Bailiffs can take your car apparently

stressed_nrp

The problems that you have had, along with me and thousands of others, are exactly the reason that access and maintenance should be settled at courts together. I took a decision to cut contact, it was being made very difficult for my child who was very torn and made to feel extremly guilty. Also access was limited to when ex would grant it - phone only worked at certains times and contact was sporadic, letters witheld ... it was really nasty and very petty. I think under these circumstances you need to make a decision about what's best for the child and at times that's taking a back seat untiil they are old enough to see things from both side. This isn't going to be easy though, especially if they have been "brain washed" by an ex. I hope that happens for you soon.

In regard to bailiffs - are they prepared to negotiate an amount or will they only want to take good to the value of the debt? Also house not mine - nor is the, not flash at all, car. Think they will be placing me in jail.

blimey40

Baliffs can only take things in your name.

baliffs cannot enter a property if it is not owned by you.

Baliffs cannot enter your house if you ask them to leave. Do not leave your door ajar as when the foot is in the door, it will give them free reign to enter the premises

Baliffs will return the case to the CSA if they make 3 visits and no-one answers or they cannot trace.

stressed_nrp

blimey40 wrote: »

Baliffs can only take things in your name.

baliffs cannot enter a property if it is not owned by you.

Baliffs cannot enter your house if you ask them to leave. Do not leave your door ajar as when the foot is in the door, it will give them free reign to enter the premises

Baliffs will return the case to the CSA if they make 3 visits and no-one answers or they cannot trace.

What do you think is the best thing to do i.e. do I speak to the bailiffs and tellt hem I am willing to pay an agreed amount? Tell them that I am querring the payment (on other sites this means they cannot pursue the debt until the CSA do a recalculation). No answer the door and let the case return to CSA? Also I haven't missed an arrears payment, surely this means the b's can't call anyhow???

Zara33

stressed_nrp wrote: »

So the CSA had the case returned, what happens then? Do they reapply to get you arrested at court? I am happy to pay, I mean I never stopped, it's jsut a lot less than they want. But will the bailiffs understand that - or do I hide behind curtains too? I don't want to pry but can I also ask do you see your children now? I know that I am starting to resent my child because of all this, I guess that's normal is it?

The bold is a very sad statement :eek:

stressed_nrp

Zara33 wrote: »

The bold is a very sad statement :eek:

Do you honestly think so? I haven't seen this child in many many years, and that's not because that's what I want - I have never shirked any responsibility towards them or my ex for that matter. However, I feel completely out of control of my own life. This isn't something the CSA give a damn about. Having a child and having a relationship end has caused me such misery and allowed me to be treated like a criminal. I want to take ownership of my life and I can't do so until fulltime education ends. For me that's not what parenting is about i.e. solely being a financial provider, I want involvement with no recriminations for my child that's why courts should be involved and not the CSA.

I personally can see that many parents would feel the same and tbh I would be shocked had the notion of "I wish i'd never got involved with that person.." never crossed the minds of other NRPs. You may find that statment shocking and it certainly wasn't meant to shock, rather express the levels a person can be pushed to and the emotions/feelings that being placed under such constant pressure can cause. I don't feel that it is for anyone to judge such comments.

I am being totally honest on here and that doesn't make me a bad person/parent but someone who is able to face the reality of when/if this child knocks my door will I be able to like them or will I think so this is the person that i've made such sacrifices for. If I am honest I never thought I would feel like this, however as time has gone on parental ties lose their grip - this person is a stranger to me and of course I never wanted that to happen, however it has and now all I can do is look to the future and think - will this person like me and will I like them or will I look into their eyes and only see my ex and their insatable appetite to destroy me.

Blonde_Bint

I'm a big believer in dont judge others for their actions until you you have stood in their situation. I also think its a minority who behave really badly not the majority.

The decision not to see ones child for the good of everyone involved is very difficult to come to but in certain circumstances can seem like the only solution, we all reach the end of the line at some point the line is just longer for some than it is for others:)

You cant do better than try your best so just keep plugging away at it and dont lose heart.