feeling deflated

Tigerlilley1980

Hi there, it really is your wedding and noone else's and all your guests will love that it is individual and not following the "wedding pattern"!

I'm not having sweetie tables of hog roasts but |I am having favours because it is what we want.

Neither are we having a first dance or a wedding breakfast. We are getting married at 4.30pm and having a party for 70 at 7pm. My wedding budget is £1500 and is coming in just under that at the moment.

Good luck with all the planning and do what you and H2B want not what anyone else wants. Tiger xxx

clearing_out_my_pockets

fastbargins wrote: »

BUT - BEWARE OF THE PARENTS!! My mother-in-law (bless her) had a real shoestring wedding when she got hitched and so when we were planning our wedding, she really tried to make it the wedding she never got to have.

I would ask if your mother in law is my future mother in law, but she doesn't have any daughters!

clearing_out_my_pockets

Before I met my OH, I'd never been to a wedding with a wedding breakfast, never had favours, chair covers or flash venues. I'd only every been to community centres with a big buffet in the corner with a cake made by my grandma (bless her).

Having been to weddings with my OH, I have allowed myself to be persuaded on the venue (on the basis that it was on budget and I can't be doing with self catering as I'm too lazy). We've agreed that favours and chair covers are something we'll have if the budget allows.

The best weddings for guests aren't the ones that have favours, chair covers, etc. They're the ones where the bride and groom are so in love and happy to be getting married that everything else is a bonus. What you want the guests to be saying is "Mr and Mrs Webitha looked so happy" rather than "the chairs looked nice".

username456

Hi,

Like everybody on here has said - just have what you and your partner want, not what you think is expected of 'a wedding'. We're getting married in a registry office and having a do at a village hall. We're not having favours, seating arrangements, chair covers (who cares what the chairs look like they're sat on them!), hog-roast, sweet table - I'm not having children there either (even tho SIL will have a 3 week baby - I'm still not having it at our wedding). I know people who'll be horrified by no favours, seating plans or children, but this is our wedding and it's what is important to us on our day.

Do things that are important to you - if you're going to worry about something missing on the day, then make sure it's done, if you're not fussed then don't do it.

The only thing really I've compromised on is my dress. I was happy just buying a decent dress from Monsoon or Debenhams that I could wear again, but bloke wanted me to wear a proper wedding dress. I ended up getting a 2nd-hand one from ebay, which you would never have guessed it's been worn before, I never could have afforded it and I love it (it will be going back on ebay after the honeymoon in true MSE style). Search around on ebay and don't forget to look at international sellers too - you can get cheap stuff from china and the US - but just make sure you give them plenty of time to arrive.

Good luck with the planning and keep checking back on here for moral and financial support!

angle

Just to let you know that we didn't have favours at our wedding.

SkyKitty

We're having combined favours/decorations/table centrepieces.
Sweetie jars on each table which will be in the centre and with little sweetie bags so people can take them home. Then after the wedding I will have all the storage jars I will ever need for my kitchen. I even found a website to get vegan sweets for H2Bs cousin and his girlfriend.

No chair covers because the chairs at the venue look nice anyway, and our evening food is a bacon butty and a chocolate cupcake. The cupcakes will be the wedding cake, and I'm making them myself.

We're also cutting out speeches (we're just having a toast from the best man) and the first dance, because we don't want those things and its our wedding.

Just remember its your wedding and as long as at the end of the day you are married, there is nothing wrong with how you want to do things.

sal-ad_daze

I've just been to the most beautiful wedding, the bride bought her dress from ebay as did the 3 bridesmaids. Friends bought silk flowers from a wholesaler and made the bouquets. The ceremony was at the local registry office, the bride arrived with her family in a limo paid for as a wedding present. The reception was a meal in the local pub followed by a party for a few more friends in the function room upstairs, the buffet was done by family and the music was provided by friends. No chair covers, fancy photographers, favours, sweetie tables or anything like that but it was a wonderful day because you could see how much it meant to the bride and groom and how happy the family were for them.
I'm hoping that little story may stop you worrying about what 'other people' have and just do what's important to you and your OH. It's your day and you will love it however simple it is (probably more so!). xxx

shelovestobuystuff

Dont worry about it.The fact that your and OH,s dream wedding wishes are almost identical is a fantastic thing:D,do what you both want and dont worry about what seems to be the norm.I am sure once you start reading a bit more about other peoples wedding you will see that really there isnt a norm these days.
There is a fab website where people post the details and pictures of their "alternative" weddings and its been a great inspiration to me.Not that I have copied any of the ideas but just seeing a place where everyone does things differently made me feel that I wasn,t crazy and I was allowed to be different too.Enjoy www.offbeatbride.com
Dont feel railroaded or pressured by older relatives saying,"you HAVE to do this or you HAVE to have that",they were all married in the 50,s or 60,s and thank goodness its not like that anymore.My mum didnt get anything she wanted(except the groom and maybe that decision should have been made by someone else:rolleyes:)at her own wedding and that was only in the 70,s.
Have the wedding YOU want.

OH and I are having a teeny tiny wedding,total people there including us will be 12 plus our dogs(thats them in my avater).No favours or chair covers,nothing prissy at all,not even wearing white:D.Splashing out on a string quartet for the ceremony because I have always dreamed of doing that but later on its rock music on CD,s.Big banquet but as its only 12 people we can afford it,if it was a bigger wedding we would be having a serve yourself hot buffet of home made italian casserole(my speciality) and chunky bread.

talkhard

Its ever so easy to get sucked into all the "fluff" that you could possibly have for a wedding.

I'm struggling myself so you're not alone.

I'm just trying to remember what I remembered from weddings I've been to. It certainly wasn't the chair covers and I've never seen a sweetie table

However, saying that, I don't mock people who are doing this as you have to do whatever is important to you. For me, its the church and the reception venue which are both local to me and a venue I've wanted to get married in since I was a little girl. Everything else is going to be an extra.

x x x