Is this PND or something else ?

meeeshymoo

Sorry guys, I know this isn't moneysaving but seemed appropriate thread.

My son was born 13 months ago, and life has been very difficult since. Each month I have been getting really 'black' periods which last anywhere between 1 and 2 weeks at a time. I am very moody, grumpy hugely emotional and generally really not a nice person to be around. The problem is that when I go into this I cannot see that I am being awful, it is only when the blackness lifts that I see. These weeks are truly awful I shout, snap and cry at the drop of a hat.

Its really frustrating as when I am okay I am really positive and getting on with things, but when I am down I get really down. I wonder if its hormonal ?.

There has been a huge amount of stress in the last year or so, our finances went from really good to abysmal in a fairly short period of time. I am now back at work 28 - 30 hours a week. Which is a struggle, I also have an 8 yr old. I moved in with my husband several years ago but this meant a move from family and friends, not a huge one but no longer in 'popping in' distance. My husband now works nights so I spend a great deal of time at home alone.

My relationship is suffering a lot and I'm not sure what to do, as for the rest of the month I cope so well, hold down a demanding job, taking the kids to nursery/childminders school activities etc.

Sorry this post is a bit chaotic and long !, just want another perspective

xx

Savvy_Sue

I don't know but it would be worth going to see your GP or discussing it with your HV.

If your periods have re-started it could 'just' be horrendous PMT, for example. I know I moved seamlessly from one to the other.

lolababy

Hi it could be a both pmt and depressions. Your under a great deal of stress and isolated from any support systems ie family.
Id go with sue and speak with the gp and health vistor.
Is there no way to reduce your hours .

ailuro2

When I had PND someone told me you need to separate what's inside your head, and what's outside and deal with both appropriately.

So, for example, making sure all the household chores are done so you can sit and have some quality time with your hubby on his night off is something that you can both work towards - I know full well that it's not easy, but being able to sit down and chat over a glass or two of wine without getting up to hang up the washing when the cycle's finished is worth it. That's something you can do between the two of you to make sure you have some adult company once a week.

Try to do things like food planning for the family shop to ease your finances a bit, make the most of MSE to take a bit of the sting from your sudden drop in income. Making your money go a bit further will help you feel like you have some control over it.

Make sure you're eating healthily, getting enough iron and other vitamins, your body takes a long time to recover from pregnancy and having the right vitamins etc. is eesential to your wellbeing. IF it is PMT sorting out your vitamins and minerals etc can really help, so either way eating healthily will help you.

For the moods and when you feel that cloud and can't shake it, you sound like you need to talk to your GP. They won't automatically put you on tablets these days,they will encourage support groups, exercise, other strategies to help you. I ended up on anti depressants but the other things helped too.

No medical advice can be offered on MSE, but have a think about doing the above suggestions, and go have a chat with your GP - can you book a double appointment to give you time to talk about everything - writing down things before the appointment will make sure you say what you need to.



Sometimes the hardest part of getting help is realising you need it, so good for you for knowing yourself well enough to do something about this.

Having had PND and SAD I know it's difficult going and telling a stranger, but it's better once you're getting help.

londoner1998

meeeshymoo wrote: »

Sorry guys, I know this isn't moneysaving but seemed appropriate thread.

My son was born 13 months ago, and life has been very difficult since. Each month I have been getting really 'black' periods which last anywhere between 1 and 2 weeks at a time. I am very moody, grumpy hugely emotional and generally really not a nice person to be around. The problem is that when I go into this I cannot see that I am being awful, it is only when the blackness lifts that I see. These weeks are truly awful I shout, snap and cry at the drop of a hat.

Its really frustrating as when I am okay I am really positive and getting on with things, but when I am down I get really down. I wonder if its hormonal ?.

There has been a huge amount of stress in the last year or so, our finances went from really good to abysmal in a fairly short period of time. I am now back at work 28 - 30 hours a week. Which is a struggle, I also have an 8 yr old. I moved in with my husband several years ago but this meant a move from family and friends, not a huge one but no longer in 'popping in' distance. My husband now works nights so I spend a great deal of time at home alone.

My relationship is suffering a lot and I'm not sure what to do, as for the rest of the month I cope so well, hold down a demanding job, taking the kids to nursery/childminders school activities etc.

Sorry this post is a bit chaotic and long !, just want another perspective

xx

Hey, welcome.
I don't have children but have been like you, with tremendous mood swings due to an absolutely anwful PMT and more recently extremely depressed, with those 'black' episodes that last a couple of weeks as well due to a bereavement. I relaised that when I am like that, an structured routine helps me a lot. Not being from the UK, I tend to get SAD in the winter months and I also have my family abroad, so I feel for you...

It could possibly be chemical, due to your hormones and tiredness sustained though a long period of time (depleted adrenals). In my case, eating regular meals helps tremendously, as well as resting enough. I know you have two small children, but it is a must you look after yourself and don;t try to do it all. You need to bring down your anxiety levels and give yourself time to recover.

Do you do practice any sport/physical activity? Very important too to lift the mood. I found that swimming really calmed me down and yoga is now a must in my life, like brushing my teeth. It seems you demand a lot from yourself but you don't have a lot of time to just relax and enjoy...

Planning your shopping, like they have suggested will help you both financially and in terms of having more time for yourself...
I am in a much better place myself that I used to be, so if I can think of anything else, I will post it...

meeeshymoo

thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I am definitely not eating as well as I could be, and will try hard to rectify this. The nights hubby is home I cook properly, but the days the children are being fed at nursery/childminders I tend not to bother too much. just take 4 pieces of fruit to work in an effort to compensate for eating rubbish rest of time !. I need to do this so hubby has a proper cooked meal as well, as if I don't cook he won't bother either !. And so I can lose some weight.

I tend to think that maybe it is pmt, I don't have periods due to having the coil fitted.

I also think some exercise will benefit me, I try to walk the school run when time allows which is a long walk. Will try to address this but is hard with the children can't afford a babysitter to go for a swim !!

I think I will try to change the diet increase the exercise and see if there is any improvement.

Thanks again for your advice :T

Savvy_Sue

And please go to see your GP or talk to your HV if things do not improve!

pinkparrott

Hi
i just wanted to reply. I felt a lot like you , my symptoms started when my dd was about 10 months old and really reached a head when she was 1. I had bleak weaks each month and really horrendous PMS the week before my period. Prior to having my two kids I had no problems with pmt etc.

I would really agree with what the others said about diet and excercise, it really makes a different, especially the excercise. Even if you can just get out for 30 mins or so with the kids it will help.

I've tried some natural things for the PMT and they helped, but I eventually went to see my GP and she has been excellent, I've been on some tablets for 2 months now and along with the diet , and excersice etc i feel a million times better.

Also my Health Visitor was a help, she said that I was simply putting too much pressure on myself to try and be the perfect mother etc.

I also work 30 hours too, I think its just hard to juggle everythings sometimes and you can get carried away trying to do everything.

Try to take some time out also for yourself , just a nice bath etc . Just leave the housework etc sometimes as it aint going anywhere !!

londoner1998

meeeshymoo wrote: »

thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply.

I am definitely not eating as well as I could be, and will try hard to rectify this. The nights hubby is home I cook properly, but the days the children are being fed at nursery/childminders I tend not to bother too much. just take 4 pieces of fruit to work in an effort to compensate for eating rubbish rest of time !. I need to do this so hubby has a proper cooked meal as well, as if I don't cook he won't bother either !. And so I can lose some weight.

I tend to think that maybe it is pmt, I don't have periods due to having the coil fitted.

I also think some exercise will benefit me, I try to walk the school run when time allows which is a long walk. Will try to address this but is hard with the children can't afford a babysitter to go for a swim !!

I think I will try to change the diet increase the exercise and see if there is any improvement.

Thanks again for your advice :T

I know timewise it is very hard to try and fit a swim session but it is very important you set aside some little time for yourself. Try to get 10 min. first thing in the morning when things are still quiet- sit on the floor or over a folded balnket with your striaght back against the wall, close your eyes and breath deeply in and out...try to make the exhalations a bit longer. 10 minutes is enough to begin with. You can also do it lying down, it is likely you might fall asleep!

I started doing this last year after a yoga retreat that I attended for a week... and it was wonderful, those ten minutes made a massive difference and it helps you to slow down your breathing and get a bit more oxigen into your system. In fact, in India, they recommend to women that they only do this for about 6 weeks after giving birth, no other yogic exercise. There are other breathing techniques, but this is the simplest and very good to calm the nerves and start getting your strength back. And Money-saving!! Just try not to force the breathing or hold it in any way and try to relax your whole body... just breath and feel the
quietness... in time you can start t do this in the early evening as well and you will have created two little windows of peace for youself. You are already on the way to start feeling better!!!:T

Paparika

You really should be going to the gp with this... they are the only ones that can tell you whats going on.