Amicable Split child care agreements?

skyeandeviesmummy

Hi, Im wondering if anyone can help. I split with my husband at the end of the last year and everything has been pretty amicable since. We have three children all under 6 and we are doing our best to keep everything as happy as possible for their sakes. I am due to move in a couple of weeks in with my new partner and my ex has agreed a sum with me to pay for child maintenance and we have found a form through the governments website that we can fill in which is a private agreement. Its not legally binding but I trust him and we really cant afford to get a solicitor involved at the moment. I was hoping that someone might know of a template I can use to write a private agreement with regards to child access. I would never stop him seeing his kids he is a really good dad but he is worried and I thought if I could write something and sign it, although it wouldnt be legally binding it might give him some peace of mind. Any suggestions gratefully received. Many Thanks

Anastasia

I haven't heard of such a form but I know the courts do expect parents to sort access out for themselves amically without legal intervention.

If you trust him about the money he should be able in time to trust you about the kids.

Good luck, Ana

barnaby-bear

skyeandeviesmummy wrote: »

Hi, Im wondering if anyone can help. I split with my husband at the end of the last year and everything has been pretty amicable since. We have three children all under 6 and we are doing our best to keep everything as happy as possible for their sakes. I am due to move in a couple of weeks in with my new partner and my ex has agreed a sum with me to pay for child maintenance and we have found a form through the governments website that we can fill in which is a private agreement. Its not legally binding but I trust him and we really cant afford to get a solicitor involved at the moment. I was hoping that someone might know of a template I can use to write a private agreement with regards to child access. I would never stop him seeing his kids he is a really good dad but he is worried and I thought if I could write something and sign it, although it wouldnt be legally binding it might give him some peace of mind. Any suggestions gratefully received. Many Thanks

There are false economies.... you might well trust him, do you trust his future unknown new wife, do you trust her when they have a couple of new babies of their own and need a bigger house, do you trust her not to be manipulative and put thoughts in his head or twist his insecurities about your future new partner...... A bit more legal advice is probably needed as you are talking about you and your children's security, housing etc for the best part of the next 20 years.

Dancing_Shoes

I think that if your ex has always paid and never let you down then it is great that you have got this far without the intervention of 3rd parties (csa/solicitors). It is in your childrens best interests that you both try to remain as amicable as possible and sadly from one of the other boards once the csa or solicitors tend to be involved then many parents become very bitter towards each other and this is where the battles start. I would echo what another poster has said in that if you trust your ex re the money then he needs to trust you re the arrangements, how about just putting a quick note together saying the days he has them and that you are happy with this and signing it? It won't be worth the paper its written on but it may help to put his mind at rest
Barnaby Bear - If/when the op's ex lets her down with payments that is the time to contact the csa/solicitors, not when it is all running along amicably

carolan78

I would do as dancing shoes suggested and write down days and times your ex has the children and put some kind of disclaimer underneath. Something like I *** and *** have agreed the above days and times *** will care for *childrens names* then date and both sign it.

Caroline73_2

My divorce was amicable and we used Divorceonline. They gave us all the paperwork including one regarding childcare and maintenance which we presented to the court with the divorce papers and it was al made legal and official with the divorce. Cost less than £200 and no solicitors involved.

skyeandeviesmummy

Thanks for all your replies. I am hoping it will remain amicable we were friends for a lot of years before we got together romantically and we kind of just drifted apart over the years and Id like to think on the whole we are friends now. He has a new partner she seems like a nice girl and the kids get on well with her and that was really important me. I guess if the worst happens I will have to contact CSA but Im hoping that we will both keep everything as good as possible for the kids.

I think I will write something down for him as has been suggested I know it wont have any legal standing but maybe it might give him some peace of mind.

Thanks again everyone :beer:

galvanizersbaby

skyeandeviesmummy wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies. I am hoping it will remain amicable we were friends for a lot of years before we got together romantically and we kind of just drifted apart over the years and Id like to think on the whole we are friends now. He has a new partner she seems like a nice girl and the kids get on well with her and that was really important me. I guess if the worst happens I will have to contact CSA but Im hoping that we will both keep everything as good as possible for the kids.

I think I will write something down for him as has been suggested I know it wont have any legal standing but maybe it might give him some peace of mind.

Thanks again everyone :beer:

Hi OP

When myself and my ex divorced there was a separate form entitled statement of arrangements for the children of the family.
We completed this together and it was basically a statement detailing the access arrangements we had agreed between us.
I don't recall there being any mention of maintenance payments but this is not relevant for us anyway as we have a shared care arrangement so there may have been a space for it and I just don't recall spotting it.
You don't mention you are seeking a divorce but it may be you could use this form to detail the arrangements between you? - it's available I believe on Direct.gov website