Antidepressants

pollyanna24

I am currently on antidepressants for postnatal depression. My bf and I are also going through a hard time and I just worried if the fact that I am on pills would affect anything if we were to split up, i.e. would he have more chance of getting custody of our daughter because of them (he is currently a stay at home dad)?

Jo_R_2

I remember worrying about this when I was with my ex, and was told that no, the fact you have the depression and are taking anti d's means you are seeking to treat and deal with your condition, and are under care for it, which is dealing with it positively.

Do you think you can work at things?

Pee

It's now residence rather than contact, and no, the antidepressants shouldn't affect whether you have residence, but who is the main carer would.

Is the hard time related to the post natal depression? It must be very hard for you both to deal with. My thoughts are with you.

If you are worried, most solicitors have a free half hur interview, which might put your mind at rest or enable you to put safeguards in place.

pollyanna24

Hopefully we can. It's not really on my part that we might be splitting up.

He reckons I pushed him away after having our baby and that he doesn't feel he loves me anymore. He wants to work at it, but I don't see much evidence on his end. I'm trying, but he seems to avoid me as much as possible. x

Pee

Oh, bless. I think it's quite normal for men to feel pushed out, so maybe natural that you maybe did, or at least that he would feel like that.

In what way does he try to avoid you? Do you think he might be tired and struggling himself?

Was it the intention that he would stay at home with the LO or is that due to the current economic situation?

Would he be willing to try Relate or something similiar?

pollyanna24

He's a stay at home dad cos he was made redundant in March. But I always earned more so we had the idea that I would go back to work, but I am finding it x100 worse than I thought I would and he revels in being at home. Has all his women friends with small children to keep him happy (that's another issue which I can't get my head around!).

He goes out in the evenings after baby has gone to bed. Not every evening granted, but getting more common. I try and snuggle up on the sofa, but I tell his heart isn't in it any more. Feel quite sad about the whole situation and yes, I regret pushing him away, but now I'm trying to rectify it, he doesn't seem interested.

Pee

I think I might have replied to one of your posts before.

It must make it a lot harder that not as planned, or not working out as planned.

Is he looking for work?

It is very nice that he enjoys being a father and spending time with his child, though.

When you are snuggling up on the sofa, is this watching stuff he wants to watch on tv or stuff you want to watch, or are you just talking and cuddling? What sort of things did you like to do together before? Is it possible to do something together now whilst LO asleep, something you would both enjoy and might bring you closer?

weenickieS

I have been in the same situation. me and my ex split up while i had post natal depression and i still had full custody of my child. Being depressed should never affect anyone having full custody of the child unless it is seriously bad depression.
Me and my ex got back together, tried again but split up just before i found out i was preg again. After my daughter was born, i had post natal depression again. And again it didnt affect custody.

I agree with Pee. Try and find things you both like to do and do them together. If you can, get a babysitter and spend an evening together doing something you both enjoy.

Hope it all works out.

Georgie4

As someone else has pointed out the fact you are on medication would carry less weight than who is the main carer of the child. Courts now focus on equality so thereis absolutely no assumption that the mother would be the best carer. That said a lot of couples work well with joint residency arrangements but are you sure you can't work this out ? It's still early days for you - do you have any relatives who could take the little one so that you can spend even a night alone