BIG Trouble - sick and elderly in-laws - SERIOUS debt!

MrsNikkiFox

It came to light last night that my in-laws owe £50,000 on credit cards and have various overdrafts to pay off too! Imagine the shock and dare I say disgust!

My husbands parents are 70+ and are of the generation where they bury their heads under the sand. Unfortunately, my father-in-law was taken quite poorly 2 years ago and hasn't got any better, worse in fact (now with an element of dementia setting in) - we do not have POA - yet, and are considering doing this before too late.

They received a phone call the other day requesting payment for something as a direct debit had been cancelled. This made our ears !!!!! up and therefore we took all the paperwork we could find home with us last night ...... imagine the carpet covered in piles of paperwork!

We are dumbfounded! We are reeling in shock and really have no idea what to do. They are looking to move house as they need to downgrade and get in a warden controlled bungalow, this provides a source of money to pay off debts etc, but what do we do in the meantime .... how do we stop the interest charged, how do we deal with such a mammouth mess! My mother-in-law "appears" to have no idea and we are left to deal with this daunting task!

Desperately seeking some help and advice.

Thank you

Nikki

nearlyrich

Nikki

I am going to move this to the Debt Free Wannabe forum, welcome to MSE!

fiscalfreckles

I would leave it, I'm not exactly sure of the details but I'd be concerned that if you get POA you may find yourself liable at some stage for their debt.

I know you want to help, but perhaps simply to refer them to Citizen's Advice or Age Concern for some financial advice would be better. There is help out there for elderly people, but the more assistance they get from their family, the less they seem to bother. So I would definitely keep this problem at arm's length.

biggaz26

Nikki,

While I cant offer any advise I just wanted to say welcome to DFW and to say ignore the Richard Head above (Never-in-doubt). He/She obviously doesnt have anything better to do.

Anyway I am sure someone with good advice will be along shortly

G

never-in-doubt

biggaz26 wrote: »

Nikki,

While I cant offer any advise I just wanted to say welcome to DFW and to say ignore the Richard Head above (Never-in-doubt). He/She obviously doesnt have anything better to do.

Anyway I am sure someone with good advice will be along shortly

G

Why are you quoting my name?

Read my (many posts and threads) and you'll see my advice is usually very good, so I completely miss your point and why you feel the need to mention my name on here?

never-in-doubt

fiscalfreckles wrote: »

I would leave it, I'm not exactly sure of the details but I'd be concerned that if you get POA you may find yourself liable at some stage for their debt.

I know you want to help, but perhaps simply to refer them to Citizen's Advice or Age Concern for some financial advice would be better. There is help out there for elderly people, but the more assistance they get from their family, the less they seem to bother. So I would definitely keep this problem at arm's length.

POA does not transfer legal obligations - it is simply authority to act on behalf of someone else. The obligation of the debt would always remain with the debtor.

It may be worth considering bankruptcy at this late stage, after all, do they have a lot to lose? But yea, agree CAB would be the best place to start..... :beer:

Tixy

Hi Nikki

Welcome to MSE

It does sound like they have got themselves into a rather large mess and what a shock it must have been to you.

I would suggest that the best way forward may be to make an appointment with Citizens Advice debt advisors.

I presume they have nowhere near enough income to service this debt until the house is sold? Citizens advice will help you write letters to all the creditors asking them to accept reduced or token payments on the debts.
I would get professional advice with writing the letters as it may be best if you don't highlight the equity in the house (as this could cause the creditors to try to get charging orders).

It might also help you if you complied a detailed income & expenditure account - perhaps using this link - http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html - so that you can see their full position and quantify how big a problem it currently is.

It could also be a good idea to get copies of there credit reports to see if there are any default notices or CCJs that they/you are not aware of.

(If you can't get to Citizens Advice this is a list of alternative free debt advisors - I mentioned CAB specifically as they may have more knowledge on any help that could be available to your in-laws http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan#help)

You also might want to look at Age Concern (as I think was previously mentioned) or Help the Aged for specific advice relating to elderley people.

Good luck

MrsNikkiFox

THANK YOU! I've since spoken to the National Debt Helpline and they were amazing, explained Self Negotiation, Free Debt management, Write Offs etc. They're gonna send me a pack and letter templates and advise at this stage to put "holding" letters in place giving us 28 days to really ascertain the extent of the problem. Thanks for the "helpful" advice. Nikki

fairbel

Hi Nikki

It sounds as though this has been a huge shock for you, and I wish you all good things as you figure out what to do to help your in-laws.

Just a little point though... You mentioned you felt disgusted, and I guess that grated with me a bit. I know some people are simply reckless in their over-spending, and accumulate debt in that way, but I think that most people - myself included- who find themselves in the horrid spiral of debt never set out to get themselves into that mess, and try extremely hard to get out. There's usually a whole load of shame and embarrassment, and yes, denial that can go on too.... But the fact is when you're up to your neck in it, it's really hard to get out - the interest and charges can be crippling, and you end up diverting all your available income to pay these, and don't make any headway, and then it spirals away, as you 'rob peter to pay paul' as the saying goes.

So, I can imagine - and sympathise with your shock -but please go easy on the disgust - most people never intended to end up in the s**t, and believe me, it's no picnic when you find yourself there.

They're obviously very lucky to have you helping them - and like I said - I hope you see a way through very soon.

sarahs999

My usual comment on these threads - please try to get them to ex[plain what the money was spent on. Was it necessary to fund important things? Or fripperies? If the latter, they need a whole new outlook or the same sorry mess will happen again, whatever you do to help them.

RAS

Hi

Nikki

You need to leave your disgust behind. It is probably going to be very hard to find out where this situation originated and there is a fair chance that at least some of the mess is due to unfair charges, ill-health, and mis-selling. or they could have been caught out in a scam.

I am pleased you have spoken to NDL, as you have discovered they do not do judgement, just help.

You have been given some good and some very bad advice so far.

You cannot become liable for your parents in laws debt unless you take out credit to pay off their debts.

Bankruptcy would not be a good idea - infact if they have a substantial amount of equity, bankruptcy is not even an option as they would not be insolvent.

I suggest that you start by working out where their money is going each month, will post a proper SOA here.

It would not surprise me if you find a number of DDs for things that they do not even need or are very high. When I sorted out my mother's finances I culled betweenn a quarter and a half off all her monthly outgoings by changing suppliers or threatening to leave. She was also paying for insurance and otehr things which had no use.

You do need to sort out the LPA as soon as possible. Unfortunately this costs a fair bit more than previously but it is worth doing now if dad has any accounts in his sole name. MIL will be able to access joint accounts.

Then get both parents to get their credit checks from experien and Equifax, so that you can see what the debts are.

A Subject Access request to thier bank will identify where the money has been going.

Please remember you can reclaim:

Any mis-sold PPI.
Bank, credit and loan charges.

Beyond this there are a number of technicalities that may give you more room to manouvre, inlcuding CCAs, the Statute of Limitations and default letters.

Best of luck. Keep posting.