Selling/buying on Income Support

tek-monkey

If nothing else, please get in touch with some form of support. Again not a legal eagle but he can't force you to sell without going to court anyway surely, therefore he can't force you out. How do you have 2 mortgages? I didn't think you could do that? Is the second one just in his name? If so, can it even be enforcable if you both own the property?

You really need someone better than us to advise, I hope things go well

apb1957

Thank you to everyone for taking the trouble to respond to my plight. I know he can't make me sell but it would have been so much easier to have been able to get him out of my life...however a descion is made, I am going to start divorce proceeings as following all your advice checked on the CAB site and I can persue this without his agreement.

Jowo_2

I am not familiar with divorce proceedings and property ownership but is there a chance that as part of the divorce settlement, the father could have a judgement made against him to hand over the property to the mother of his 4 children so she can raise them there?

In otherwords, instead of the expectation that he would get a lump sum from forcing the sale of the property, the father may be ordered to contribute back to the household, including the potential awarding of the property to the mother? Or does it not work like that these days?

Thermidor

Hi APB,

Firstly, you will not be able to get a mortgage while you are on benefits. IF you were to sell your house and wanted to buy a new one you would have to take out a new mortgage too - and no bank will lend money to someone on benefits. What's more, the Benefits Agency only start paying the interest on a mortgage after 6 months of unemployment, so even if a bank were to lend you the money (which they wouldn't) you wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage repayments anyway.

Secondly, your husband cannot refuse you a divorce. If he is a nut (as you say) you can divorce him on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. However, unless you have a reason for wanting a divorce quickly I don't see the point in pressing the issue. He'll still be in your life anyway because you have children together and an interest in the property. You should also be aware that filing for divorce costs money, and if your estranged husband is 'a nut' he will probably have affidavits flying back and forth denying his bad behaviour. All this costs MONEY - and although you will be legally aided by the Law Society they will put a CHARGE against your house: when you eventually sell the property the Law Society will take the legal fees you have incurred out of any equity. Incidentally, how much equity do you think you may have in the property? If it is just a small estimate then you're far better keeping the house until it goes up more in value (it will do in time despite what doom-mongers say!)

Thirdly, a judge will not make young children homeless. They will not force you to sell the matrimonial home until your youngest child reaches 16-years-old.

Obviously you have much going on, and this is not a straightforward case. Besides the likelihood of your estranged husband contesting the grounds for divorce (which will prove costly) you also have property issues and child access issues to sort out.

Aanother problem you have is if your husband stops paying for the second mortgage on the property the mortgage company could force a sale.........that is something you need addressing quickly.

You really need to find yourself a top lawyer who specialises in matrimonial law.

Best of luck.

poppysarah

apb1957 wrote: »

but it would have been so much easier to have been able to get him out of my life..

It would. But sadly as you have kids together you have to think of the bigger picture. Kids need both parents even if they get divorced. Even if you hate him then the kids still have a right to see him and have contact with him.

Best of luck to you though with the divorce and financial settlement.
Let us know how you get on

Fire_Fox

You should definitely see a solicitor and go for a legal separation, which is the first step towards divorce. You might somehow be able to split the responsibility for the house so that you are tenants in common and not joint tenants as I suspect you are now. Are you named on both mortgages or only the one your HB is paying? Are you getting the correct amount of child support from your ex?

tek-monkey

If the house belongs to both of them, can the second mortgage not include her? Surely I couldn't remortgage a house without my partner, if she is also on the deeds?

hectic

I am going through a divorce and my estranged husband who is now living with another woman is threatening to become bankrupt or force the sale of the marital home, which I am staying in with my four children, all of whom are school age. Obviously I am very reluctant to move because it will add to the worries of the children at such a difficult time. I am looking for some advice and perhaps reassurance from others that have been in this difficult situation.

I am trying so hard to keep the house running smoothly for the children and keep their lives on track. Sometimes it is so hard to know what to do for the best. I am seeing my solicitor about this next week but when my husband phones up making these statements late at night when I am tired and on my own it is so hard to see the light and make sense of the situation.

LydiaJ

Fire_Fox wrote: »

You should definitely see a solicitor and go for a legal separation, which is the first step towards divorce. You might somehow be able to split the responsibility for the house so that you are tenants in common and not joint tenants as I suspect you are now. Are you named on both mortgages or only the one your HB is paying? Are you getting the correct amount of child support from your ex?

Legal separation is not the first step towards a divorce. There is a thing called "judicial separation" which involves exactly the same process as divorce but just doesn't stop you being technically married to each other. It's just as expensive and time-consuming as divorce, and it's very rarely used - mainly by people who accept that they now have separate lives but who have religious objections to divorce as such. If you get one, and decide later to divorce, then you have to pay all over again to get divorced (although the financial settlement is usually much more straightforward because you can agree to continue the settlement already agreed for the judicial separation).

You can be financially separate from someone whether or not you are still married to them, but only if you don't have any joint credit. As long as both your names are on the mortgage then you are regarded as financially linked. If he is irreponsible with money, this is probably something you want to avoid.

Sorry not to have anything more helpful to suggest, but I hope it's at least useful to have some more information. I agree with others that you need proper legal advice. Speak to other people you know who have been divorced and get a recommendation for a really good divorce lawyer who takes legal aid cases. Since you are on IS you should get legal aid, I think.

hectic wrote: »

I am seeing my solicitor about this next week but when my husband phones up making these statements late at night when I am tired and on my own it is so hard to see the light and make sense of the situation.

I suggest you tell your husband you do not wish to discuss divorce arrangements over the phone. Say that you need time to take in what he says and consider how to respond, and therefore you would prefer to negotiate by email or letter. If he rings up, late at night or at any other time, or if he tries to talk to you face to face, then remind him politely that the arrangements are too important to be decided on the hoof and you need time to think.