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I think they've beaten me...

Hi guys,

I'm here to have a moan. I'm not sure if many of you remember me but for the last 6 months I have been fighting to get mine and OH's finances in order. I was getting there, but now OH has not worked for three weeks (he's self-employed and he can't find anything) and he's just received a letter from a solicitor on behalf of a company he owes money to. We sending them small amounts because we just don't have it, and now because of the letter the debt has just doubled and they're going to take him to court.

I just feel like all the fight has left me and I am really struggling not to cry at the moment, as I'm at work, but I just want to curl up into a little ball and hide.

I'm slowly facing the realisation that I'm going to have to declare bankruptcy and I feel like such a failure.

Can anyone point me in the right and best direction to go with regards bankruptcy. I need to gather information. How do people find the money? Do you just stop paying any of your creditors and save it up?

Any advice would be great and appreciated. I've done an SOA before and cut everything down but with OH now not bringing any money in I'm at a critical point.
Lightbulb moment - October 2005
Debt at highest - £97,000 :eek:

Debt now (15/06/07) - £83,908.47 (still :eek: but every little helps!)
Debtfree Date - 2015 (but working on it)!


2007 Comp Challenge - £360/£0 (I have no luck with winning!)
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Comments

  • Emmzi
    Emmzi Posts: 8,658 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Northernbird,

    Sorry you're having a rough day. It can just take one thing to push you over when you've been fighting for a while. But remember this is only money - you have OH, health, and I am sure many positive things in your life - and us!

    Who (other than us!) have you taken advice from? This may be the time to talk to CAB/Payplan/CCCS if you haven't done so already, and they can assess your position and talk you through the options.

    Keep posting.

    xx
    Debt free 4th April 2007.
    New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.
  • LookingAhead
    LookingAhead Posts: 4,633 Forumite
    Aww Northernbird I'm so sorry to read your post. I hope someone far better qualified than me comes along soon to guide you in the right direction re: bankruptcy. Is this really the answer though?

    What does your OH do by the way?

    I know this isn't really fab advice but could you feign a headache and go home? Maybe you do need to go home and cry and beat the pillows up or something! Sometimes we need time off sick not just for physical pain but for our mental health too....we need to get things in order in our minds or we'd go over the edge.

    Hugs to you, I hope you get some practical advice very soon.
    Bank Balance: In the black for the moment.
    Sainsburys Loan: Cleared July 2010
    Credit cards: AMEX Airmiles Card: direct debit set to clear balance monthly
  • Thank you for your kind posts. I know it's only money, I normally manage to keep pretty upbeat about stuff, but I actually feel like I'm sinking and I can't climb out.

    Not much chance of getting out of work. I'm in a male-only team and a headache just doesn't cut it!

    I think I'll ring PayPlan and see what they say.

    OH works in the dental industry, and these recent changes in the NHS with regards dental charges have really affected things. He has an interview this week which I'm keeping everything crossed for, but I'm worried the damage to paying stuff off has already been done.

    Thanks again. xx
    Lightbulb moment - October 2005
    Debt at highest - £97,000 :eek:

    Debt now (15/06/07) - £83,908.47 (still :eek: but every little helps!)
    Debtfree Date - 2015 (but working on it)!


    2007 Comp Challenge - £360/£0 (I have no luck with winning!)
  • crawley_girl
    crawley_girl Posts: 2,010 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Ditto what the others have said... :grouphug: have a hug on me...

    Do seek advice/ support from CAB/ Payplan/ CCS or whoever, but not any of the companies that charge for their service.

    Go and do something that takes your mind off your worries. Something nice, something free!

    :heartpuls CG :heartpuls
    Ever wonder about those people who spend £2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
  • Kevicho
    Kevicho Posts: 3,216 Forumite
    Hi guys,

    I'm here to have a moan.

    We are here as free therapists, hopefully we can help in some way :)

    I'm not sure if many of you remember me but for the last 6 months I have been fighting to get mine and OH's finances in order. I was getting there, but now OH has not worked for three weeks (he's self-employed and he can't find anything) and he's just received a letter from a solicitor on behalf of a company he owes money to.

    I think your OH needs to get a full time job, as being self employed is a real double edged sword, i have been there and it didnt work for me at that time
    I dont think you can be self employed do it while carrying debt, all the money needs to go to the business rather than creditors


    We sending them small amounts because we just don't have it, and now because of the letter the debt has just doubled and they're going to take him to court.

    I just feel like all the fight has left me and I am really struggling not to cry at the moment, as I'm at work, but I just want to curl up into a little ball and hide.

    Take a break for 5 minutes, have a glass of water, you still have health and the support of the great minds (and mine) of the MSE forum, you are not alone


    I'm slowly facing the realisation that I'm going to have to declare bankruptcy and I feel like such a failure.

    Many good people have gone down the same route, you should think of it as a rebirth, a second chance, also armed with the knowledge you now have you may have more luck in the future


    Can anyone point me in the right and best direction to go with regards bankruptcy. I need to gather information. How do people find the money? Do you just stop paying any of your creditors and save it up?

    Any advice would be great and appreciated. I've done an SOA before and cut everything down but with OH now not bringing any money in I'm at a critical point.

    Just keep your head up and remember, people are here for ya
  • Thank you. I wish there was a thanks button!

    I really appreciate you all listening to my woes (virtually so to speak).

    I guess I should get on with my work now! I can't lose my job as well!!!

    xx
    Lightbulb moment - October 2005
    Debt at highest - £97,000 :eek:

    Debt now (15/06/07) - £83,908.47 (still :eek: but every little helps!)
    Debtfree Date - 2015 (but working on it)!


    2007 Comp Challenge - £360/£0 (I have no luck with winning!)
  • livinginhope
    livinginhope Posts: 1,897 Forumite
    Debt-free and Proud!
    :grouphug: Northenbird,it is a miserable time and I really feel for you.I went through a similar thing a few weeks ago and could see no way out:confused:
    You need to talk to your OH,and find out how he feels.Don't rush into BR try other avenues first.
    I ended up on Prozac,best thing I ever did:j and it has made me see things a bit more clearly,although now I seem to be a bit too opinionated :o
    As others have said give Payplan,CCCS a ring you will feel much better talking to someone.
    :A
    Debt at highest £102k :eek:
    Lightbulb moment march 2006
    Debt free october2017 :j
    Finally sleeping easy in my bed :A
  • oops_a_daisy
    oops_a_daisy Posts: 2,460 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Name Dropper Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    thhugs1.gif

    sorry things are not going well at the moment - try to have some me time ( I know easier said than done ) sorry I dont have experience with bankruptcy so can not give advice. You are not moaning either - you know you can always come on here and get help even if the help is a virtual hug. We all feel for you.All the best.
    :cool: Official DFW Nerd Club Member #37 Debt free Feb 07 :cool:
  • earwig
    earwig Posts: 1,097 Forumite
    I've been Money Tipped!
    hi bankrupcty is not as scarry as it sounds my oh is bankrupt it cost 460 just dont pay anyone to save it up or take it out of your cc thats what ccs told oh to do unless you own your house they cant take your home they may take your car but if its needed for work they will give you cash to buy a cheeper one you wont pay tax but they will claim the tax back of the tax man unless you have works of art they dont usally take anything from your home and to be honest we found that going bankrupt was no more stressfull than dealing with creditor it was just over quicker its last for a year then your discharged it stays on for file for about six years your not alowed credit over 500 with out telling the ofical reciver and you will lose your bank acount so you need to empty it before your court date phone your local county court they will send you a form and give you a date on the day you bring in your form they check it over with you then you see a judge on your own this is when you will be made bankrupt and he will give you a certificate which you send to your creditor then you speak to the or and then they will speak to you again where they will tell you what they will take if anything usally about two weeks after you seen the judge they will tell you if they want to speak to you again they dont usally
    i cant slow down i wont be waiting for you i cant stop now because im dancing
  • QueenB.
    QueenB. Posts: 1,083 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I don't know much about the bankruptcy route, but i wanted to say hang in there. Do the option which is best for you and your family and definitely take some time out for yourself even if its just an hour.

    We are all here for you:grouphug:
    Success means having to worry about every thing in the world......EXCEPT MONEY. Johnny Cash

    Cross stitch Cafe member 81.
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