Venting for me - and it feels good!!

ghostmadlittlemiss

Have you tried contacting a local credit union? http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/credit-unions

I apologise for the idiot above, I've reported him and hopefully others will do the same. We get a lot of trolls first thing in the morning (not usually with that kind of post count though), obviously up early to get their morning dose of Jeremy Kyle before smashing up a bus stop somewhere. :rolleyes:

I know you said you've posted before but would you mind putting your SOA up again? We might've missed something on it last time. In case you've forgotten, the link is here: http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html Also, a spending diary might help.

Good luck.
Kayleigh

moneymakestheworldgoround

Hi shootmenow,

I loved your post, I could imagine the steam coming out of your ears in the first instance, and then imagine a more suitably relaxed person coming to the end of their rant ! Glad you felt able to moan outloud - its therapeutic !!

I grew up in a family where 'inheritance' has been given early to enjoy now rather than on someones deathbed so I do empathise with you. My grandparents and parents have seen their children and their children pay off debts, set up homes, get married, have a holiday of a lifetime..... all due to their help, and I think its nicer than way.

However, with regards your situation. I am not 100% sure you wanted advice - it seemed like a chance to have a controlled mini breakdown, a cup of tea, and then regroup for the solution part !

But if you want advice, mine would be to sell everything and start again. Back to basics, declutter, sell anything not nailed down, and learn that people do not always help out, banks and the such like dont look logically at peoples situations, and that if you ever need help, you can only rely on yourself in this world.

Good luck

biggaz26

Although I have no advice or practical solutions to offer Id just like to say great post..A true reflection of alot of peoples feelings.

As for the first replies from LandyAndy, well ignore them. This forum is for advice and help not for judgement he obviously hasnt had any for a while so ignore him hes taking his frustrations out on you!.

As a few others have said on here post you SOA on here maybe someone will spot something...All about not be able to see the wood for the tress and all that.

Try contacting CAB or your local credit union as has also been suggested may be able to give you some help or ideas to sort your problems.

If all else fails sell up and start again...Generally those who are most successful got there by learning from their failiures.

Good lukc and all that.

G

stoocake

I agree with letting out your frustration. Even the calmest most laid back person has a breaking point, and who knows what happens when you're pushed past it, so I'm not judging and nobody else here should be. We're all here for similar reasons and I'm sure most of us have been mucked about in one way or another...when you're down, they just keep kicking you.

leanne82duke

can not believe the trolls on here!
i thought that was a brilliantly written post and you have voiced what a lot of us feel x
i am really pleased for you that you got it off your chest x
you know you have solutions and in an ideal world they would be exactly what you want but we don't live in an ideal world so chin up stiff upper lip and all that! and time to control the fall out x hope every thing works out for you x
cab, credit union..... there are places to turn to for advice
i think the hardest thing sometimes is the realization that it has all gone wrong x
good luck with every thing

louise3965

I loved your post too, simultaneously wanting to laugh but feeling so sad for you.

You use some military terminology in your post. Did you serve? If you did the British Legion have dedicated debt advice people in some CAB's who can help, and there are some other folks who can help too. PM me if you did.

shootmenow

I'm guessing that Landyandy with 6005 posts is a real person and obviously entitled to his opinion. Quoting Dragons Den is a bit on the pretentious side and I can only imagine he enjoys other peoples torment.

Yes I could drip on about my woes but my character is one of humour and its my release. When I cant see the funny side I am IN BIG TROUBLE. Thats me - you can read or you can move on.

Thanks for all the nice comments.

Look I'm not saying its the world fault and I accept that I spent the money, no one else - me. When times were good I didnt put away. I must also point out that lesson is learned - too late but learned. I also need to point out that I havent had flash cars or foreign holidays - drip in jewellery or have a house I should never have bought.

I am Mr Average. I have modest bungalow which I have lived in for 21 years not a huge mortgage. Our house is simple – I have two cars both over 9 years old and both worth less than the scrappage scheme. I don’t smoke, I have the occasional bottle of red. We don’t go out. My one luxury is my touring caravan which should go really but its my only pleasure – I have two businesses one which is suffering from the recession and paying about 2/3’s of my monthly required amount. The second is not generating much as I don’t have the time to spend on it and the worry and negative’s whizzing round my brain are stunting the ability to progress. Plus it is underfunded. Before anyone says about get rid, I must point out that to run the business costs near to nothing. A lot of my troubles was caused by buying the equipment to set it up. It was classic if I invest in it it could solve my problems - Investing dropped me deeper into debt. It’s a good business with good prospects and if I had no debts It could be a winner. Unfortuately to make money you have to have money. I know that now.

So I have dropped deeper from just trying to be a good dad and husband. I start work at about 7am and finish between 5 and 7pm. I then have a few hours with the family – telly etc and then I go out to the office about 10pm ish and do some more until early hours. Sleeptime is when it really gets you – anyone been there will agree. In the quiet and the dark boy your mind can race faster than Fernando Alonso. Its sometimes better to be awake!

I’ve never drawn a days benefit in my life nor broke the law (apart from silly things we all do) I like to think I am considerate and caring and would help anyone anytime. This isn’t a cry for sympathy this is just so people who are probably reading this and in the same situation don’t think they are alone. I’ve never worked less than 60 hours a week since leaving school. People on benefits earn more than me. Hell if I turned it all in I am sure I could get more in benefits than I earn for what I do BUT that’s not me. I want to earn and work.

All I bloody want is someone to lend me enough to consolidate it all to a sensible amount over 10 years – its not rocket science. I want to borrow and pay interest – I have no intention of not paying –My credit rating is exemplary. I even have the equity to cover what I want so if I didnt pay I lose that anyway. Approx equity of £130k, loan required £30k – one mortgage only has 3 years to run the second (for 25k) has 7 years. I mean does that sound like bankrupt? The Banks are bailed out my US – not the government! And they were so far up Sh*t creak a 500hp Mercruiser wouldn’t help them!

I know I am not alone
Instead of a fully covered loan - I have to become a burden on the state - how can that be sensible?

ghostmadlittlemiss

shootmenow wrote: »

I'm guessing that Landyandy with 6005 posts is a real person and obviously entitled to his opinion. Quoting Dragons Den is a bit on the pretentious side and I can only imagine he enjoys other peoples torment.

Yes I could drip on about my woes but my character is one of humour and its my release. When I cant see the funny side I am IN BIG TROUBLE. Thats me - you can read or you can move on.

Thanks for all the nice comments.

Look I'm not saying its the world fault and I accept that I spent the money, no one else - me. When times were good I didnt put away. I must also point out that lesson is learned - too late but learned. I also need to point out that I havent had flash cars or foreign holidays - drip in jewellery or have a house I should never have bought.

I am Mr Average. I have modest bungalow which I have lived in for 21 years not a huge mortgage. Our house is simple – I have two cars both over 9 years old and both worth less than the scrappage scheme. I don’t smoke, I have the occasional bottle of red. We don’t go out. My one luxury is my touring caravan which should go really but its my only pleasure – I have two businesses one which is suffering from the recession and paying about 2/3’s of my monthly required amount. The second is not generating much as I don’t have the time to spend on it and the worry and negative’s whizzing round my brain are stunting the ability to progress. Plus it is underfunded. Before anyone says about get rid, I must point out that to run the business costs near to nothing. A lot of my troubles was caused by buying the equipment to set it up. It was classic if I invest in it it could solve my problems - Investing dropped me deeper into debt. It’s a good business with good prospects and if I had no debts It could be a winner. Unfortuately to make money you have to have money. I know that now.

So I have dropped deeper from just trying to be a good dad and husband. I start work at about 7am and finish between 5 and 7pm. I then have a few hours with the family – telly etc and then I go out to the office about 10pm ish and do some more until early hours. Sleeptime is when it really gets you – anyone been there will agree. In the quiet and the dark boy your mind can race faster than Fernando Alonso. Its sometimes better to be awake!

I’ve never drawn a days benefit in my life nor broke the law (apart from silly things we all do) I like to think I am considerate and caring and would help anyone anytime. This isn’t a cry for sympathy this is just so people who are probably reading this and in the same situation don’t think they are alone. I’ve never worked less than 60 hours a week since leaving school. People on benefits earn more than me. Hell if I turned it all in I am sure I could get more in benefits than I earn for what I do BUT that’s not me. I want to earn and work.

All I bloody want is someone to lend me enough to consolidate it all to a sensible amount over 10 years – its not rocket science. I want to borrow and pay interest – I have no intention of not paying –My credit rating is exemplary. I even have the equity to cover what I want so if I didnt pay I lose that anyway. Approx equity of £130k, loan required £30k – one mortgage only has 3 years to run the second (for 25k) has 7 years. I mean does that sound like bankrupt? The Banks are bailed out my US – not the government! And they were so far up Sh*t creak a 500hp Mercruiser wouldn’t help them!

I know I am not alone
Instead of a fully covered loan - I have to become a burden on the state - how can that be sensible?

I had a look at his other posts and he spends most of his time on other boards. I won't generalise, but there are people from outside of here that just don't get it.

Did you see my post earlier on credit unions? They might be able to lend you the money you need.
Kayleigh

Crisp_£_note

What a refreshing post, it was great!

I hope you get your troubles sorted one way or another, its double troubles when you have a business as well. Have you considered a Debt Releif Order or tried the CCS / National Debtline for advice they also advise on business matters as well. I have been through the refusals and am now seriously considering a DRO but its a tough decision and has some stigma attatched to it in my personal case with certain family members and also my own self guilt factor the way I was raised to appreciate money and I have gone against everything I was taught, not through being flippant but through necessary means, so I am taking longer to get round to going ahead with it but it seems more and more inevitable as the credit card sharks close their bite harder each week! The worst thing I find is with the stress comes fear and with the fear comes guilt and it all gets too much.

Posting your SOA might allow some to guess your identity on comparison but theres no shame if they did we all know how you feel and a lot of us feel the same. As someone said here earlier "Generally those who are most successful got there by learning from their failiures" its true!

And I will join your rant from your own quote "All I bloody want is someone to lend me enough to consolidate it all to a sensible amount"
:beer:

pebblespop

is it not easier/better for you to bite the bullet and pay the 13% loan if you really want a consolidation loan?

most people on here say don't consolidate but if it's what you want to do i would get the 13% and have done with it.