Venting for me - and it feels good!!

shootmenow

Excuse my posting but I have just realised that I have no one else to vent this on. So this is mainly for me and anyone who feels they are in the same boat. I guess most of you have switched off already
Last year, April to be exact, I discovered this web site and I truly saw the light – I had been silly and let things get away from me, not from extravagance but from bad money management. I set about reducing my monthly’s and got them down from a ridiculous £3300 per month (including running a business before you hang me) to just under £2000. All I then needed was a loan to consolidate some other loans and my outgoings would be down to approx £1300 which was manageable and then I could start chipping off my debt instead of adding to it.
That was April 2008 – Have I managed to get that loan? Answer is no. Have expenses crept up by trying to live? Yes. Now I basically have run out of money. Approached my personal bank and they would lend me up to what I owed them into one loan. Trouble is they wanted to charge me 13% on the two loans that I was paying 8% for. Now you can tell I’m no money whizzkid or I wouldn’t be here, but how can they want to lend me money @13% when the Base rate is 0.5% and they lent me the previous loans on 8% when the base rate was 5%. Oh and if they went ahead they would remove my overdraft in the deal. So basically they lend me all their risk at 5% more and reduce my cashflow, so much so that I am bound to go overdrawn and get charges of god knows what on top.
Then I go to my business bank and guess what. They will lend me my outstanding overdraft but no more . So I get a monthly payment and no cashflow. End of business.
Still with me – you at the back wake up!
So I then approach my Building Society – who like a complete prat I have been with for 21 years in the various Dr Who-like reincarnations they have morphed into over the years. Guess what “ Computer says NO!” I couldn’t afford the new payments based on my income. Guess what pal I have actually worked it out for real, not used some slide rule in house system there!! So they don’t mind caning me for 21 years ( Quick maths 21 years at on average £421 a month is a meagre £106k for a £45k loan – not bad eh) but when I need a bit of help it’s a NO. How lucky were they the banks didn’t do likewise!
So then the will to keep on trying starts waning, much like reading my sorry tale, dear reader. For those sticking with it you are either bored, in the same boat, a nosey git or quaffing Champagne and laughing at this with your friends. Either way, well done for getting this far.
The next term I have heard so many times, offered by so many people, but I am going to let you into a secret to save your pain– its complete baloney. The term to learn is “You know, if you are ever in trouble I am always there to help” if anyone says that to you say immediately that you are strapped and need £500 – you will stand more chance of being mauled by a Daffodil than seeing that £500. I know you have no right to expect people to part with hard earned because you cocked up. Equally people should have no right to say that unless they mean it. In future tape all conversations with anyone as evidence (I wouldn’t advise the last bit as you will probably lose all your friends and the cost of batteries is an added expense) Also please factor in the pain in admitting to someone you are skint and need help and the even more excrutiating bit when they say they can’t and you have to change the conversation to whatever overpaid Z list onelegged dwarf got voted out of Strictly Come Dancing!
So the chain of command so far for all of you fool hardy to have carried on is:
Bank – Bank – Building Society – Friends. Nto so good so far and the power is ebbing away, the nights are getting less filled with sleep and things become numbers. Shall we have fish and chips for tea for a change becomes “ Shall we have £8.92 of expense that we neither should do nor can do and buy 2 kg of pigs intestines instead and make a cheeky little gruel for a quarter of the price”
Next stop on this trip is relatives. This one is ultra tricky and even more embarrassing but this one generally has a two edged blade. Firstly your parents and in laws and other family members take great pride in telling you about their six figure retirement packages and pension deals blah blah blah and you feel a great mix of inadequacy and jealousy. Then you are told you will be ok when I’m gone blah blah blah. That’s great, so if I live to be approx 70, without dying of swine flu, aids, run over, civil war, terrorism and loads of disgusting diseases, I will inherit a wad of cash I can spend on Gold incontinence pants. How about helping someone, when they need it, not when they don’t need it. It’s like seeing someone on fire and throwing a bucket of water over them next week. The phrase seems to be “ Its all tied up in bonds and shares etc etc” It’s a bit like when I asked my mum for something and she would say “we’ll see” I always knew that meant – no way Jose!
Okay, if you need a wee you can hold it a moment longer as I am in the throws of finishing up. May I congratulate you though on getting this far. Try getting out more I am told it’s marvellous.
Final chapter. Here’s the sickener, I have worked hard all my life and never claimed a penny. I have about £130k in equity, two lovely young adult children and a great wife. Financially I am not bankrupt but thanks to the Banks I am stuffed. No money – no way of going for another month without selling everything I own to start again. I am not sleeping and the worry is tremendous. I have always read about these people who commit suicide over money and think to myself “ what complete w………s to do that, but I have to be honest I can see it from the their side.
So the options are, sell everything and god knows what I live on in the mean time, or go drive into a brick wall. Neither is good. If option B was taken how many people would say “ If only he’d asked me” I’m guessing many would say that bit but not actually do it.
Thanks for listening . It was therapeutic for me if nothing else.

mum2one

I wish I could come up with a solution, but my thoughts are with you. I'm sure someone may be more knowledgable than me come along soon.

shootmenow

I have posted before and used a different name. Unfortunately the original name was too obvious and what was posted could have given away my identity. That is a post from the heart but has obviously been taken the wrong way.

So it further confirms the warm feeling the world gives.

If I wanted judgement I would ask for it.

westiedog

Hope your luck changes.

I was under the impression this forum was to support and not judge. Please remember it is only money and yes I know you need it to live but your loved ones would rather you be frank with them rather that saying I wish they had said something because I would have helped.

Hope this makes sense. Have just done a night shift but seemed to important to read and run. xxx :A

shootmenow

The thing is I have approached what i considered my last hopes, only to be turned down. That's a pretty gut wrenching moment. I can only liken it to plunging from an aeroplane knowing you have a parachute and when you go to deploy it - THERE'S NOTHING THERE!

Now I have the wait for the ground to appear.

And for those in judgement I hope you never get to where I am at the present.

westiedog

Sorry I meant to say the subject seemed to important to read and run xxx

bunny999

Please most your SOA so we can we see your problems more clearly and maybe help you.

schoolrunmum

Sorry to read of your problems ,just wanted to say that I have been caught out lending folk money,and now have to refuse,as I've been taken for a ride. "Friend" still owes me 6k that we lent him "just for a few months" back in 2006-he's now left the country.Another "friend" borrowed 15k in 1992-never saw that back either,to add insult to injury,he then started using our address to take out loans-screwed my credit rating for years.....maybe your friends have been burned before?Please don't think I'm saying you won't pay it back,I'm not, it's just that there are too many crooks out there....good luck anyway.....

Happytogetdebtfree

Hi and well done for getting that off your chest why dont you go to cab, maybe discuss options with them, post an soa so people can help where possible, all the bestr x

sniffercat

Hi, just wanted to say what a brilliant post. for those of you moaning about it i sugest you read the first few words again. This person has clearly had enough of false promises and it seems to me that he can see the light "albeit in the very far distance" at the end of the tunnel but it never gets any nearer.
I for one fully understand where he is coming from but with different circumstances, and if he can`t have a rant on this board without attacking anyone in particular where can he?

Any suggestions as to what he should do instead?

mummum2

I too thought it was a brilliant post! and seems from the heart. Wishing you all the best in sorting this out, as previously mentioned post you SOA and those that are not judgemental will help you to see areas that you can cut down on etc.

Good luck and keep posting.

MM2