For those having/had a registry off wedding...

Missk_3

Well - Have spoke to them this morning and am quite upset - they were very rude & when i said i was unsure what happens they sighed very loudly and said " well love - you turn up and get married"
fair enough - i then went on to ask about music - turns out we can have one piece of music for signing the reg.
With regards to not seeing the groom before - they suppose they could do that but cant understand why i would want it that way.
Lovely - now i feel really let down, they said i should of been told this when booking & given info pack - which we wern't.
so - now im seriously not lookng forward to the wedding.

shellsuit

Missk wrote: »

Well - Have spoke to them this morning and am quite upset - they were very rude & when i said i was unsure what happens they sighed very loudly and said " well love - you turn up and get married"
fair enough - i then went on to ask about music - turns out we can have one piece of music for signing the reg.
With regards to not seeing the groom before - they suppose they could do that but cant understand why i would want it that way.
Lovely - now i feel really let down, they said i should of been told this when booking & given info pack - which we wern't.
so - now im seriously not lookng forward to the wedding.

Oh that doesn't sound good does it! That would really upset me too.

It's meant to be the, or one of the happiest days of you life and they are treating you like something on a conveyor belt !!!!!!

Is there not another reg office you can get married in? You don't have to have the one closest to you, you know xx

kte

I found that the service differed hugely between registry offices - the one on my home town where we had to go for the initial meeting were all very rude and unhelpful in person and on the phone...I got married about 15 miles away with a different office and they were the complete opposite! We had a tick box ceremony book where we selected the words to be said for each part of the ceremony, put in our own readings and music etc. We met with them about a month before to finalise all of the details (but I know this will be different as we weren't marrying in the registry office)

Miss K - try not to worry, I know you must feel awful though. I know it sounds silly but have you tried phoning at different times of day to try and get someone else to talk to on the phone? I did that with our first place afte I was really upset when someone was rude to me. Maybe go in there if not and arrange an appointment to see someone and go prepared with a list of questions about things like readings, music, vows etc and just calmly talk through the day. Remember you're paying them for a service so the least you deserve is courtesy on their behalf. If you said either on here on maybe on the YAYW forum you could find someone else who has got married there and get all the info you need about what wil happen, or what other peoples experience was.

Good luck...

rosie-lee

MissK, I agree with Shellsuit. I don't know which Register Office you have booked with but it does not sound like they follow 'the norm'.

Of course you should not have to see the groom beforehand and vice versa. I have worked in some very old and small register offices and we are always able to accommodate this tradition.

Although I can understand your frustration please try to keep yourself calm.
Have they given/sent you the booklet with the choice of words in?
A lot of information should be there?
Try and explain to them calmly that whilst a wedding ceremony is an everyday occurance to them, it is something you have not done before and would appreciate a little patience and for someone to run through the details with you beforehand.

Failing that, all registration staff are now employees of the particular County Council they are in. As such any complaints made about staff are taken very seriously. May I suggest that you ask for the name of the Superintendent Registrar and drop he/she an email calmly outlining your concerns. If you express a wish to change to a more 'customer focused' office, questions will be asked.

Please do not be offended by my stressing of calmly. It means that you will be taken seriously. Believe me, they will have received rants from people annoyed because the wallpaper/new carpet does not match their colour scheme, because they can't have a bowl of cheese n onion crisps out for little Johnny and because they can't have their pet dog walking down the aisle - I'm sure you get the idea.

I am convinced that once you speak to the right person they will be able to allay all your concerns and you can start to look forward to your big day as you should.

never_enough

Obviously rosie-lee has much more knowledge of these situations, but I'd just like to add my agreement for the need for you to stay calm. You getting upset will not help the situation & may just make things worse. It's understandable that you are upset, but I am sure that you can get things sorted out.
Best of luck.

frannyann

rosie-lee wrote: »

MissK, I agree with Shellsuit. I don't know which Register Office you have booked with but it does not sound like they follow 'the norm'.

Of course you should not have to see the groom beforehand and vice versa. I have worked in some very old and small register offices and we are always able to accommodate this tradition.

Although I can understand your frustration please try to keep yourself calm.
Have they given/sent you the booklet with the choice of words in?
A lot of information should be there?
Try and explain to them calmly that whilst a wedding ceremony is an everyday occurance to them, it is something you have not done before and would appreciate a little patience and for someone to run through the details with you beforehand.

Failing that, all registration staff are now employees of the particular County Council they are in. As such any complaints made about staff are taken very seriously. May I suggest that you ask for the name of the Superintendent Registrar and drop he/she an email calmly outlining your concerns. If you express a wish to change to a more 'customer focused' office, questions will be asked.

Please do not be offended by my stressing of calmly. It means that you will be taken seriously. Believe me, they will have received rants from people annoyed because the wallpaper/new carpet does not match their colour scheme, because they can't have a bowl of cheese n onion crisps out for little Johnny and because they can't have their pet dog walking down the aisle - I'm sure you get the idea.

I am convinced that once you speak to the right person they will be able to allay all your concerns and you can start to look forward to your big day as you should.

Excellent advice :beer: I would just add, calmly is by far the best way to get results Write down first what your actual concerns are and what the person actually said to you on the 'phone. That will help you keep your focus. Also rememberr that the person who answers the phone is probably not the person who marries you