role for step dad

chatnoir

Hi all,

Can anyone suggest a role i can give my step dad? He has been the one to pretty much raise me since I was about 8..but I still see my real dad. My real dad is giving me away and doing speaches etc but what can I ask my step dad to do? I did think Matster of ceremonies but seems a bit of nothingy kind of job specially as the wedding is quite small (only 30 odd guests)

Thanks

kelda_shelton

is both of them giving you away and doing speeches a non starter?

kelda_shelton

reading a poem or passage at the wedding? being an usher? (but then your probably not having any of them are you? I'm not at mine becasue its small during the day)

chatnoir

no ushers....and my h2b's 3 sisters are doing readings etc
Did think about the two of them doing the giving away but not sure my dad would like it nor my step-sister (my step dads "real" daughter)

Minxy_Bella

Never mind what everyone else wants - what do you want?

It's your special day so you decide. You can't please everyone all of the time and I know it's a minefield but your stepdad raised you. Your dad should be grateful to him and realise that he has a place in your wedding.

I think that having your stepdad sign the register and make a speech, while your bio dad gives you away and makes a speech is a happy solution that both of them should be cool with.

xxx

cleomolly

hum, I'd say it's hard to comment as I don't know the relationship you have but if you want him involved I'd may be give him priority over doing a reading or something. He (I'm sure) will want to be part of oyur day and if he's not doing speech, giving you away, then I'd say ask him whether he would like to do a reading or may be something else. hard decision but good luck with it all x

Stephb1986_2

Hmmm hard decision really isn't it hun, I don't speak to my biological dad so my choice has been quite simple really, If your step dad has been there more for you than your real dad then maybe he should be the one to give you away as the title goes with the job really, thats just the way I see it.

If you don't think that's suitable then maybe have him say a few words at your reception instead of your dad doing it they can share the role?

Steph xx

SkyKitty

It is a difficult one isn't it. I can imagine you don't want to tell your real dad that you will be having your step-dad give you way or do speech if your dad alrready has that job.
I would agree with signing register, and maybe one of his sisters wouldn't mind stepping aside from doing a reading?

zzzLazyDaisy

Just to say 'well done' for caring enough to make sure that both your 'dads' have a role to play at your wedding.

My friend's daughter chose to have her stepfather walk her down the aisle, sit at the top table with her mum, and do the speeches. My friend was just there as an ordinary guest. Him and her mum split up when she was in her teens, and he continued to have shared care - but her mum never spoke to him again, so I guess it was a pragmatic solution, so as not to upset her mum, but it broke his heart.

chatnoir

Thats my worry...not to upset anyone...my dad is still my dad up untill i was 18 or so I saw him everyother weekend etc...asked H2B if he would have step dad as an usher....he said no cos might upset his dad! Don't ask!!!
We are getting wed in france, so having to get wed in registry office in uk first, only having the mandatory two witnesses (both our mums) so he can't sign the register for us.
arrh so confused!!!

Minxy_Bella

chatnoir wrote: »

Thats my worry...not to upset anyone...my dad is still my dad up untill i was 18 or so I saw him everyother weekend etc...asked H2B if he would have step dad as an usher....he said no cos might upset his dad! Don't ask!!!
We are getting wed in france, so having to get wed in registry office in uk first, only having the mandatory two witnesses (both our mums) so he can't sign the register for us.
arrh so confused!!!

You can have more than two witness, I'm sure. My kids signed our register as well as the best man and maid of honour. It might be worth checking with your's.