Punishing myself?

dalip

RTR you have to take a deep breath and square those shoulders. I think a lot of the problems lie in our "upbringing". BC is still seen as cop out by many(the dt forum proves that)and an old saying "there but for the grace of god go i";). I have been amazed at some peoples responses and then saddened by others. Not the ones you would normally expect to be biggoted or so supportive. You find out who your friends are and believe me i never "broadcasted" mine:o.

I went bc in nov 2007 and now feel i have turned the corner and am finally clawing my way back up.I think my shredding of my bc skin came with my discharge in sept 08.When i was transferred to the RTLU in the feb I felt better cause i knew they had finished"investigating" me. ED also helped me to feel less guilty,i saw it as a indication it was not my fault and that i really had no choice. No matter how many times i told myself that it was not until that ED that i began to believe it.

Give it time and the longer and quieter it is the better it will be.We are here if you get bogged down by worry stress ect.Dx

Ps you can always pm me if you wat.Dx

worriedsik

I have wanted to reply to you since yesterday R2R but was afraid to tell you that i dont feel guilty

i now feel guilty for not feeling guilty !! lol
i have felt that bad for so long that i now feel the only way is up and i see the dark cloud lifting and i dont feel guilty at all......am i bad

dalip

Good post alastair:T

fiveyearplan

I second that dalip - yours wasn't so bad either girl! Glad you have crawled out of your BR cave and have taken the opportunity to change your career to something you've always wanted to do.

RichesToRags

Tadsa and FYP - Thank you for your replies, its a relief just to know it's not just me.

Alastair - Its certainly not the safety net I'm missing as I haven't had that for quite some time. I actually feel safer financially now because every single penny doesn't have to be paid out in extortionate interest rates which I didn't sign up for in the first place!

I do see what you're saying and agree to a certain extent, the financial institutions have been predators and really have showed no mercy as far as I am concerned. However I am an adult and have to take responsibility for using that pre-approved CC, accepting that pre-approved loan, not reading the small print and not having the foresight to save for a 'rainy day' (always trust the advice of your granny).

Actually writing all this is proving to be a cathartic experience for me so thanks for listening (reading) X

RichesToRags

Dalip - Squared shoulders, held head up...... Tripped over cat, thanks for that

Worriedsik - NOOOOO you are not bad for not feeling guilty, I don't feel guilty about not paying sharks who nearly doubled interest rates and said 'well if you don't like it you have 15 days to pay it off'. It's more about how I feel about myself. I'm glad you feel so much better and I'm sure by following the lovely advice of people from here (which has got me this far) I'll be feeling better soon X

worriedsik

RichesToRags wrote: »

Dalip - Squared shoulders, held head up...... Tripped over cat, thanks for that

Worriedsik - NOOOOO you are not bad for not feeling guilty, I don't feel guilty about not paying sharks who nearly doubled interest rates and said 'well if you don't like it you have 15 days to pay it off'. It's more about how I feel about myself. I'm glad you feel so much better and I'm sure by following the lovely advice of people from here (which has got me this far) I'll be feeling better soon X

iam sure you will and dont beat yourself up xxxx

alastairq

However I am an adult and have to take responsibility for using that pre-approved CC, accepting that pre-approved loan, not reading the small print and not having the foresight to save for a 'rainy day' (always trust the advice of your granny).

We all can claim the above.....in hindsight...but if we followed Granny's advice [wouldn't dream of listening to MY gran, however].....we would have become the financial world's worst enemy.

By following the above, we would not 'be playing the game', therefore become convinced it is 'we' who will become disadvantaged.

so the pressure builds..after all, the financial world pays billions in advertising and public relations, to pressurise us all away from Granny's advice....they would not do so if they thought it wouldn't work.

In the end it's all about numbers...for them, for us, and so on.

The bonus system proves that.

So don't beat yerself up over it all.....they rely on the guilt trip!