Behaviour charts

mummyyummy_2

Have any of you used them? where can I buy/download a good one from. I have 2 DS's aged 6 & 10, lovely but very typical boys, tendancy to not do as anyone tells them except dad (who works away all week-trying to change this but in this economic climate its hard)...i just need some ideas please as to what to put on a chart and how to work it? should I put stickers on when they do a good thing? remove it when they are bad? work towards incentives? do these charts even work? I really am at end of my tether and feel I need to handle things a lot better otherwise my boys will grow up thinking their mum is crabby and no fun! Can anyone help?thankyou

pretzelnut

You can make your own with a bit of A4, some pens and stickers alternatively WHSMITH's and ebay have some good one's.

But with kids that age i suggest a routine more than a behaviour chart, my DS is 7 and we wrote him a morning and after school routine with his things on like getting dressed, brushing his teeth, cleaning his room and doing his homework, as these were things he was being a pain with he wouldnt do them or would take far to long. we gave him set time ie, 8am teeth brushed, 8.10 uniform on etc.

Now he has his routine and he knows exactly what he should be doing and when it works fine, also the 50p a day for getting everything done also acts as a great incentive, if it doesnt get done he doesnt get his pocket money. He also knows that if he takes to long it means he'll be late for footy traing.

The key is to find something that will work for you and your kids and stick to it, carry out any threats of deducting points or rewards, otherwise it just becomes pointless. And dont enter into reward negotiations as they will try and get double stars for things. But do encourage them to do extra things for bonus points.

If the kids get bored of it you will need to think of a back up and switch tactics - usually the 1st attempt at a reward chart seems great but the novelty soon wears off. So it may take several different versions to find one that works for you all.

The forst one i used had 8 lines for behaviour that you filled in yourself then the days of the week along the top. You added a sticker if they were good or completed the task.
Along the bottom was 3 boxes: If i get 20 stars i will recieve something small like a pack of footy stickers, If i recieve 30 stars i will recieve: a comic, If i recieve 40 stars i will recieve a trip to the cinema etc etc.

Work out what you can afford to reward them with - it doesnt have to be monetary, you could have things like, watch 30 minutes fo cartoons, bake cookies, stay up late etc etc.

Anything that you think might work. But dont promise things as a reward if you think theres a chance you wont be able to commit to it. You have to stick to it as much as the kids do.

Kids are great at finding loopholes in these things. My DS pointed out to me 1 week that he had earnt a comic and he could have any one he wanted as there was no price stipulation - trust him to want the one that cost £4. That'll teach me for not tying those loopholes up.

BitterAndTwisted

The chart comes from the kids' behaviour and the things you want to modify or reinforce, so I'd start by making a list of all the things which you find hardest to discourage. Please don't let this make you depressed, there's work to do! They get stars when they're good but you don't punish by taking the stars away when they're not, just focus on the positive so the kids can feel good about themselves.

When I looked after children as a career I made up a chart with the really important things, not more than five, and awarded a star each morning for the previous day's behaviour because we were working on going to bed nicely and at the weekend there would be a reward for getting a star in all categories but we didn't worry about getting a star for everything, every single day. You have to be realistic and you don't want the kids to be discouraged. I have a feeling one of your categories will be not fighting with each other.

Rummer

Next has a great one and it uses magnets so you don't have to keep reprinting or buying stickers. They have a girls and a boys themed one. We wrote on it what our DD would get if she reached a certain number of stars and a wee list of daily things to achieve. We found it worked wonders and made sure that she was being rewarded for her hard work!

hevab

Elc has one for £6 in a design for boys or girls. My DD has the princess one and seems to be working (for now) After school we are going to shop for her present for gettin more magnets than black dots

Counting_Pennies_2

http://www.gltc.co.uk/fcp/product/-/getting%20organised/Superstar-Chart/10000001058

I have this one (for up to 3 children). My son prefers ticks to stars, so we just use the board marker provided to tick instead, then rub off to start the next week.

I use the reward chart for things my son needs to learn and what will help me.

He is dreadful at getting to do things for school, so each request is to be completed by the second request or a cross is given. Such as getting dressed, leaving the playground at the end of the day, putting his plate and cup in the kitchen after meals etc. There is also a general behaviour one as well for each day, so that will help for all the other bits not specificially written down.

It has been a huge success. First of all the rewards were enormous incentives, a trip to a theme park, cinema, then a favourite toy (each time coming down in price) then something in the shop for under £5. Now that he is starting to learn the value of money it is 10 pence a tick, and he can save up for something he really likes.

hth

Bethankim

Hiya

I used marbles when my DS was younger.
I sat down with my OH and looked at what we were struggling with and what behaviour we wanted to discourage and what we wanted to encourage. Then sat down with DS and talked about what we wanted. drew up a list of 5 things - anything longer and it kind of gets hard to enforce (well i found it did)

the marbles were linked to small non monetry treats which we agreed with him so things i knew he wanted
from extra tv time, a trip to the park, mum and or dad time on his own etc

3jars
green marbles (or any colour you like) and red marbles.

each week he started with no marbles in his jar and would get to put one in if he did what was asked of him by the second asking (no more than twice) we only rewarded what was on the list at first so it got into his head.

If he misbehaved or didnt do what was asked he had to remove a marble and put it back into the main marble jar.
when he got 5 marbles (we made it easier to get at first) he got a red marble and once he got that it wouldnt be taken a way
at the ned of the week we totted up how many red marbles and he got his reward

as the weeks went on it became harder to get the marbles - because he knew what he was supposed to do and we would add something to the list to keep him going as it were.

the effect was really good, he loved putting in the marbles but hated taking them out, (would have tears and pleading) but we stayed firm and he really learnt by it because he had to take take his first steps in responsibility. and it was an imediate effect of seeing his marbles stack up or down.

I made sure the rewards were not to do with money but about nice family things he enjoyed like:
cooking
allowed up 10 mins extra
an extra story

tailored to his age and interests. to keep him interested we introduced the idea of saving his red marbles for an extra special treat at the end of the month
trip out
cinema
sleepover

it really worked for us and he still mentions it now at nearly 16 - i got it from a mum with a son who has ADHD and she swore by it.

hope my rambled explanation makes sense