how do i tell my ex?

worried_dad_4

Long story short
Im getting married soon :j.....But im really finding it hard to find the right moment to tell my ex. Now your wondering why i need to tell her? We have a child together.
My worry is that she will cause some kind of problems for me and my soon to be wife.
I dont want her thinking that im splashing out on my wedding and not helping out with my child. The whole wedding is a gift to us.

So after those rambles...I need help with what im going to say to my ex. Any tips?

RickHoughton

Just tell her, You obviously split up for a reason, and you've moved on, you cant let her run your life anymore.
Regardless of the child issue, as long as he or she is still lokked after, and loved what does it matter if you remarry or not??

smartpicture

No tips on what to say. But my best advice is to say it as soon as possible, to give her the maximum time to get used to the idea. The longer you put it off, the more stressful it is for you and the more chance of her finding out from another source and feeling like you're hiding it from them.

If you think it's likely to lead to a row, you could try writing it in an email so you get the chance to put your point of view across.

icequeen1969

It's got nothing to do with your ex!
As long as you provide for your child then what's she got to complain about?
Whatever is spent on the wedding has zero to do with her. Just tell her and if shes a decent person she will be happy that you have moved on too.
I'm guessing she's not so nice though if you are worried about her reaction?

northwest1965

worried_dad wrote: »

I dont want her thinking that im splashing out on my wedding and not helping out with my child. The whole wedding is a gift to us.

QUOTE]

I really dont think it has that much too do with the ex to be honest. As long as you are paying the correct amount of maintenance, whatever you do with your money is up to you and it certainly is no business of hers what your new wife does with her money either.

Just come out and say it. How has your child taken it? Ok?

Good luck

worried_dad_4

thanks for the replys all made me feel a bit better about though whole problem.

She hasnt been that nice in the past. It always about money.
I do admit that in the past i was trying to get back on my feet..so could only pay £60 - £100 a month. Now things are rosey and im looking forward to the life i have always wanted :j

My child is 4 in a couple of months. He will hopefully be coming with us on the special day. He really gets on with his future step-mother which im very thankfull for.

GPedro

Your ex presumably knows that you're in a serious relationship, and that marriage must therefore be on the cards?

Just send her an invitation!!