Fed up of boyfy's spending!

Northernbird_2

I really feel for you. I don't have the extra worry of a new baby coming into the world. It must pretty stressful for you.

It sounds like the big thing for you is the worry of cutting down your maternity leave. Does your OH realise this is a consequence of his spending? Sometimes, people figure (I have been guilty of this!) they can cope with the consequences whatever they may be because it just affects them and no-one else. I am in no way saying your OH doesn't care (please please don't think that's what I'm saying) but that he just hasn't seen the consequence. Have you mentioned this to him?

Big hug from me. Hope it works out chuck. :grouphug:

Jo_R_2

Northernbird - I have only just realised that I may have to cut down my maternity leave, so not said anything to boyfy yet. He is very big on babies getting one-on-one attention and would ideally like one of us to be a stay-at-home parent if circumstances allowed (which unfortunately they don't right now.) I am sure if he understood this would be a consequence of him carrying on the way he has been, that he may think again.

He has admitted to me he is awful with money (which is why I handle the majority of finances.) He thinks it stems from his childhood, he grew up in a one-parent family where money was very tight and so never had the stuff kids want when they're growing up. So now he says he sees it as if the money is there, he spends it whilst he can. This is reflected in his constant desire to impulse buy - he sees something he likes, he wants to get it. Most of the time he has me in his way to offer a little objectivity, a 'let's go away and think about it, do we really want this, can we afford it, where offers the best price?' type thing. However, with his loan money he governs where it goes as he has the access to it.

I have said I will take his card off him, half in jest when he got his loan paid in, but half in actual seriousness.

Anyway I must go, I need to go and meal plan and make a shopping list to brave the masses tomorrow _pale_ Thanks.

beanielou

Aaaw hugs
Also dont think it totally unreasonible that you have six months off wth the little un when they arrive.

clairehi

Hi, I too have an OH who is not as moneysaving as perhaps I would like him to be.

He now has "pocket money" of a certain amount each month and he knows he has to stick to it. sadly, I have to actually total up his spending each month to make sure he does.

Maybe if you and boyfy agreed a certain amount of cash he can spend on himself a month, it would be easier to control his spending? It is hard when you feel like you are entitled to nothing, and when there is no budget you dont know when to stop either.

Also, this is a terribly non-money saving thing to say but even if taking your full 6 months ML is going to put you into the red a bit, it might still be worth it - as long as you have a longer term plan to get back on track. for different reasons, we are going to go a bit overdrawn this year but we know that we will be back in the black next year when DS goes to school and childcare costs reduce.

finally, I dont know where youre getting your baby stuff from but check out the NCT sales for excellent quality second hand gear.

Jo_R_2

Hi clairehi

We haven't implemented the "pocket money" idea yet, it was one we had both agreed would be beneficial but last month when we first decided on it, I unfortunately got paid less due to being off sick, so we didn't have enough left over.

We are going out tonight for a friend's birthday meal. We don't often get to go out together at the mo so it is a rare treat, and one which we have planned for. I must admit to feeling slightly relieved at being able to keep an eye on what he spends...

I am going to discuss the maternity leave with him. I need to know we have some money stashed away for anything unexpected, as things are going to be tight anyway and it may be we need to fall back on some savings in the latter part of my leave. I am happy to do this, but obviously the money has to be there to fall back on!

Thanks.