Ladies money only!

cherrycake

Hello to all the ladies especially - I am hoping for some feedback please.
My husband and I have been together 10 years and married 8 years. We have always put our income into a shared account which I manage. I am always very careful with the money and rarely spend money on myself but instead on our children, paying off debts, food and bills. The money from our business which I have recently started working in after leaving my own job is managed by my husband and he choses how this is spent. I feel that I do not have any money that's really 'mine' and have been wondering been about setting some money aside each month for me. Do other ladies out there do anything similar? Are your husbands/ partners happy for you to do this? Or do you put money by without them knowing?! Thank you in advance!

lynzpower

Ive been engaged and living with my partner for 4.5 years now and we keep everything seperate really.

We have one shared account for the rent & bills - happens to be in my name

We have our own current accounts- we use for our own stuff.

We havea number of savings accounts- eg one for holidays, one for Xmas- when we spend moeny this cashis distributed to the one who paid. ( eg buying a gift for someone)

For food, I buy it from my current acc, and he gives me half ( for moneysaving he puts his share directly into one of my savings accounts)

Saving accounts are generally inmy name as its my money that is saved. However, when it comes t ospending it- im sure it will go on our house deposit so it will become ours then.


Even when we marry I cant see this being any different, we are both more than happy with this, we dont have children I expect things might cxhange then If I stop working ( cant see it personally)

Oldernotwiser

I think that many people take out personal spending (for both partners) before putting it into a joint account.

It doesn't sound as if your husband has any personal spending money either so it would be a good thing for both of you to do this.

choccymoose

I.ve been married for 10 years, we both pretty much earn the same amount. Our money goes into our own accounts and we both put the same amount into a joint account for all bills and mortgage etc to come out of.
We origionally did it like this as my OH pays CSA for his older 2 children and did not think it was fair for me to contribute to this. I have paid the childcare for our two children (I know cancels out the CSA) OH paid for holidays, meals out etc.
Childrens clothes etc usually paid for by me, but then I receive the child benefit so not a problem.

Money left in our own accounts is ours to do with what we please, hence as i have just stopped paying over £500 a month in childcare, I have a lovely new beetle. .

Choccy

3plus1

Even if you pool the bulk of your money, it would be nice for both of you to have your own personal pot.

I don't know about you, but if my birthday present was to appear on our joint statement, it would take the fun out of it. I don't want to know how much a present costs or where it comes from.

Works both ways, too!

Buddingblonde

We have a joint account which has all the bills in and when we get paid we move over enough to cover the bills and then housekeeping money so that what we have in our own accounts are our own.
That said I save from my own account but call it joint savings so some months i put less into the joint account if we are saving for something big - like MOT or Christmas or birthdays.
Anything left in the joint account at the end of the month is moved back into my account and into the savings.

busiscoming2

Cherrycake you say your husband chooses how the money is spent, what sort of things does he spend it on? are they things just for him or for the family?

I personally think you should have some money of your own, I would hate to have to ask for money every time I wanted some, I feel it you can afford it then to have some cash stashed away in an account (even if it is secret) is vital if the relationship ever fails.
If you are working in the business then you should have earnings. Do these just stay in the pot and he decides what to do with it?

System

You need to remember that your husband is in the same position. he may control the business money but, as a business, he is very constrained on what this can be spent on. Unless you have a very 'creative' accountant then he can only spend this money on the business.

cherrycake

thank you all for your sound and thoughtful advice. I'm going to start setting aside money for both of us

Bargainloverbec

All of our money is joint except we each have a personal account which we call 'naughty money'. The purpose of this money is to buy presents for each other and also treats that couldn't possibly be justified (eg. I saved up and bought myself a pair of Jimmy Choos a few years ago - couldn't really in all good conscience buy them out of the joint account!).

When we first got married and both working full time it was £100 each a month, but a few years down the line with a baby on the way this is now £50 and will be further reduced depending on how long I have on mat leave!!

I hope this helps - I always find it very interesting how couples sort out their money as it's such an emotive subject.