young couple looking to move in together

lasvegaschris

first off ive been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years, and it really is time to start looking for a house. this isn't the place for relationship advice i know, but we're at breaking point. we've been saying for years we'll move out and we have been stuck with mom and dad....and she wants to end it all.

but thats not why im here. i want to move out. how can i persuade her that we CAN and WILL move out. what steps can we take now to start the process in moving out?

I know you guys will say "if you're at breaking point, its not the best time to look for a house" and i know that....but we both want it, i think we're just clueless where to start....and this would certainly fix things. i know that its not as simple as moving out as quick as that....but i want to start the process so that we can build on it together.

like i said - i dont want relationship advice, I have to do that myself. I need help on how to start looking to move out with my gf.

sorry if i come across rude - but its been a tough day

BitterAndTwisted

How old are you both?

lasvegaschris

we're both 22. im 23 next month.

Fitzio

I think you need to be proactive and start saving some money. If you think that this will solve the problems with your relationship and you have been talking about moving out together for a while, then perhaps she just doesn't ever see it happening.

Do you have money saved up for a deposit to buy or rent a place? I would suggest that you start with stating you will put aside X amount for the next few months to have as a deposit or for buying furniture etc and see what she can afford too. Start buying papers to look at properties and see what you can afford.

If after a few months, things aren't going well, you can always move out on your own with the money you have saved. But it might prove to her that you are serious and that at least the ball is rolling/wheels are in motion. I think budgeting is the most important thing though and making more concrete plans together.

jamtart6

If you think your "breaking point" can honestly be put down to not living to gether then no one should say you should'nt be looking! A lot of our niggles are due to the fact we don't see each other as often as we should/would, don't have our own space etc.

We were in the same predicament after three and a half years, but had been saving hard for a deposit on a house so we knew it was going somewhere it was just taking a while to get there. i suggest start saving? do you want to rent or buy? if you want to buy go and see a mortgage advisor - see what mortgage you could get and see what deposit you would need. Thats how we started and saved like crazy people to get it. nearly 2 years later we were able to buy the house we wanted (not outright!!)

ailuro2

Get the local paper - look at flats for rent.

It really is as simple as that.

As long as you've been saving for it these past years because it's something you really want.

talk to other family members too - they might know someone who has a place to rent, or takes in lodgers in pairs.

Good Luck!

not_tonight_josephine_2

In practical terms you need to a) make sure you have enough money saved up to cover moving costs and b) start looking for a place.

The moving costs will depend on the level of rent you are looking at, but (for example) if you are looking at somewhere costing £500pcm I would say you'll need about £1500 to move in -
£500 first month's rent
£750 deposit equivalent to 1.5 month rent
£250 agency fees/credit referencing

I'd suggest you look for somewhere furnished, but do you have all the other "bits and pieces" you might need? eg duvets, sheets, other bedding, cooking utensils, crockery (some of these may be included in a furnished rent but may not) - if not you'll need some money for these too, unless family will help you out.

In terms of looking for somewhere - look on gumtree and rightmove for properties to rent in your area, also get a list of local letting agents from the yellow pages and check their websites for properties to rent.

Also take a look at the House Buying, Renting and Selling forum on here - there is a useful post at the top outlining some of the basics for tenants.

Good luck - I can understand that living with parents may be driving her nuts! Hopefully you can work things out

jack*tigger

You also need to get an idea of what your monthly outgoings are going to be gas, electric, food, council tax, water.

Will you have enough coming in between you to cover them each month. If not are there any benefits - working tax credit for example - that you can claim to help make up the shortfall.

Do all the research with your girlfriend she can see the situation for herself and you both know where you are along the road of getting your own place.

Also Christmas is coming (the goose is getting fat and all that) ask family and friends to give you cash towards the deposit instead of buying things that you don't want/need. Or to buy you towels or something.

Just make sure that this is what you both want and that living with your parents is the only/main reason why your girlfriend has had enough.

GPedro

Do you both work? Free of major debt? If so, then I don't really see any obtstacle to just doing it.

Look in the local paper, and just get on with it.

nervousftb_3

my OH and i were in the same position as you a year ago, it was driving me mad living at home but he was insistent on waiting til we had saved more money to buy a house. in the end we just decided we had to get out or i would go crazy, and within 2 weeks of deciding this we were living in our rented house. it was the best thing we ever did! we stayed there for 8 months in total and then moved back to our parent's houses to save more money for a deposit. we have now been in our own home for a few months and couldn't be happier! so i would say just go for it, there is nothing like living together and having your own space to help you decide what you want. we used renting as a sort of 'trial run' before buying, and it worked out perfectly. it proved we would be really happy living together, and also gave us ideas of the sort of house we wanted to buy, in terms of space, layout, location etc.

sarahs999

Have you not saved any money? Surely if you've been saying for years that you're going to do this you've been saving? oOr perhaps you've just been saying it but doing nothing about it, which is why she wants to end it? Either way you're going to have to be proactive. Are you working? Can you afford to rent together? If so then just do it! Why the drama?